Prioritizing safety or legal issues
Minimizing negative communication
Getting back to business
Being a leader
Helping your team stay strong in the midst of conflict
When a workplace experiences serious conflict, your goal is to do all you can to limit the impact of a situation that very well may be beyond your control and help your team collectively move through a difficult time. In addition to dealing directly with the conflict, your employees will want you to address issues, keep them on track, and help them feel supported.
In this chapter, I walk you through what you can do to keep a team focused and productive during conflict. I give you pointers on how to share information without adding fuel to the fire and discuss how to set up communication channels for staff concerns and feedback. Finally, I offer insight into how you can demonstrate that you're a trusted, strong leader who strategizes rather than reacts.
When conflicts arise, your first priority is to protect employees and the company at large. Depending on the conflict and the people involved, you may notice certain red flags regarding security, such as
Tip
Act on any of these issues by following company protocol and dealing with them immediately. Document any legal concerns and report them to your superiors and/or Human Resources personnel. You should report anything that negatively affects employees or is an actionable offense — such as harassment of any kind, bullying, emotional abuse, safety concerns, discrimination, or retaliation — as soon as you're aware that it's happening.
Dealing with issues that require the involvement of HR or other authorities often results in employees who aren't directly involved in the behavior needing a place to vent and asking for clear instruction on how to deal with co-workers. Provide information as appropriate. Act as a sounding board to minimize the impact and help employees focus on their work, but be careful not to overstep your boundaries by sharing too much information.
Intelligence officers listen for chatter over the airwaves as a means to determine if and when actions will take place. In very basic terms, the more they hear and the louder the chatter becomes, the more likely an event is about to occur. Although this analogy is a bit dramatic, the idea translates to the workplace. When conflict is happening, employees will talk . . . and talk and talk. Talk turns into gossip, conjecture, and, sometimes, outright hostility.
Chatter breeds discontent because it stems from uncertainty. If everyone knows that something's going on but they don't have accurate information, they fill in the blanks and chatter begins to escalate. Individuals take up the banner, spread rumors, exaggerate information, or fabricate stories.
Note
What your employees are trying to do when they participate in the noise is address the uncertainty they feel about a conflict. As much as possible, work to limit the buzz because it
Distracts employees: Last time I checked, I couldn't find any organizations that set out to pay employees to make hallway conjecture. If conversations are taking place around every corner, it interferes with the ability to focus on the work employees are actually being paid to do.
Increases stress: Each person has a right to process his perspective, but if employees are constantly forced to discuss the situation over and over, it can be overwhelming. Sick days and time away from the office may provide the only relief from the constant recycling of information.
Increases confusion: As employees share their perspectives and add individual spins on the situation, conflict takes on a life of its own and can morph into something much bigger than it actually is.
Heightens emotion: Chatter in the form of whispers and information fed bits at a time often causes a slow burn that can easily ignite with one wrong word or phrase.
Tip
Acknowledge employees' need to process information and talk through any probl aems. Hoping that employees aren't going to talk about a conflict is unrealistic, but you can ask them to limit conflict-related conversations with each other and, instead, share their concerns using other avenues, like those listed in the upcoming section "Creating ways to voice concern." This strategy not only helps reduce gossip and misinformation, but also ensures that you and other managers know what the concerns are so you can deliver consistent responses. Even though you may not be able to squelch the rumor mill completely, you can take steps to minimize the buzz that can drag down the team.
Consistency is one of your greatest tools during a conflict. Communicating on a regular basis allows employees to develop trust in you. If they can count on you as the main source for accurate, up-to-date information, they likely won't feel the need to go to each other with rumors and speculation.
Tip
If you feel that you need to protect your staff from certain details, or if you know confidential information, that's okay. But don't use those circumstances as an excuse not to tell them anything. If decisions or changes from outside the group are the root of a conflict, tell your team what you can when you can. Be as open as possible and avoid any appearance that you're hiding something. Perceived secrecy tends to make angry people paranoid!
Demonstrate that you're as in touch with the state of affairs as you can be by
Assuring the team that you're looking out for the their best interests
Stating that you're committed to sharing as much information as possible when possible
Informing employees that when you can't share certain details, you'll at least share the process
Letting your team know exactly when they can count on you to communicate updates or changes
Note
How you disseminate information depends on your unique environment, so establish a forum that fits your workplace. This could mean that you disseminate all information at staff meetings or that you give updates in writing. Regardless of the delivery method, be clear, consistent, and accurate with all your employees. Telling one person one thing and another person something else is a surefire way to cause a major squall. People talk!
Obviously, if a conflict is between just two people and you feel you can successfully mediate their issue, you don't need to address their business with the entire team. (In Chapter 5, I give you insight about when to address conflict, and in Chapters 6 through 9, I tell you how to facilitate such a discussion.) However, if a conflict is affecting everyone, call a meeting for a day and time when most employees can attend. Be sure to include staff who work off-site, are assigned to different shifts, or have positions that require them to be on the phones.
If meeting in a central location allows for more people to attend at one time, consider somewhere other than headquarters. Arranging for an off-site meeting can create a more neutral and confidential environment, especially if the conflict has anything to do with other groups or departments. The location you choose should put privacy first and keep interruptions to a minimum.
Tip
Allow enough time during the discussion for people to ask questions and for you to respond appropriately to the issues. If you have a large staff and you want to facilitate a group meeting so everyone can share their perspectives, take a look at Chapter 10 for ideas on how to put together such a conversation to get the most out of it.
If your conditions don't allow for everyone on your team to be present at one time and you're having multiple meetings with different participants attending separate discussions, be diligent in tracking what's been asked and answered. Take notes and use an outline so that you discuss as close to the same information as possible with each group of people. If a question arises in one group be sure to communicate the question and answer with the other employees. This method prevents misinformation from being discussed after the meetings when employees are comparing notes.
The first few meetings you call may take longer because people will be processing new information and sharing concerns. Don't be too anxious about that — as things calm down, you should be able to devote subsequent discussions to delivering succinct updates. You can also save time by reminding everyone of any other avenues you have in place to voice their concerns (see "Creating ways to voice concern" later in this chapter for details on methods for gathering information).
Throughout an ongoing conflict, you may have sensitive information that not everyone needs to learn about in an open forum. Maintaining privacy is important, but try to make closed-door conversations the exception rather than the rule. Limiting closed-door meetings is a good way to cut down on chatter and worry.
Note
Be aware of what your actions communicate. If an employee constantly sees one closed-door meeting after another, she may begin to draw uninformed conclusions, and paranoia can set in. If your staff is left to guess about what's happening behind a closed door, you can be certain that gossip based on false information will ensue.
Regular, open-forum meetings can be a useful outlet for some employees, but you may need to close the door if some people in your group need individual attention because they're less comfortable sharing in a group setting. Closed-door meetings may also be appropriate when you need to share a strategy with mid-level supervisors. Talk things over with them, but be discreet. This approach keeps other employees from feeling like they're the last to know. It also reduces the appearance of favoritism during a time when people may already be feeling insecure.
Warning
After information leaves your lips, you have no control over how an employee hears it and certainly no control over how she chooses to repeat it. It's better to speak with one voice to the whole group than to have numerous stories circulating about what you said to whom and when.
Implement multiple avenues for employees to offer their perspectives. Productively communicating concerns gives your staff a constructive way to ask questions or vent. And by communicating that an employee's ideas and concerns are important to you, you increase the likelihood that he'll use one of the methods you establish rather than keep the rumors going.
Use as many communication systems as possible because the more avenues you make available the more likely employees are to find one or two they're comfortable using. The goal is to help staff bring ideas and concerns forward and help you gain a better understanding of the causes and impact. Some avenues for employee feedback include the following:
Set up an anonymous e-mail address or toll-free phone number. Your company can administer these resources directly, or an independent agency can compile the data for you. Be sure to post the e-mail address or telephone number where employees can access it easily. The information gathered will probably be more in line with short notes or comments — sort of like the essay questions on a test rather than the multiple choice or ranking questions you find on surveys.
Provide locked suggestion boxes and encourage people to use them. Place the boxes in an area that's easily accessible to all employees. You don't want people to feel like they have to sneak past the principal's office to drop in a suggestion. Let employees know how often, and by whom, the comments will be addressed.
Conduct regular anonymous surveys to give your employees a chance to share concerns and ideas. Anonymity is vital to the success of this strategy. Numerous companies provide free and inexpensive options for collecting information through surveys, so even if you're tempted to conduct surveys in-house, look externally as well before you make a final decision. If employees know that only a compiled list of answers is being sent to the administrator and that there's no way for the company to know who reported what, they're more apt to answer honestly.
Develop an ombudsman office. An ombudsman is an employee, or group of employees, who are trained in various conflict resolution techniques and are available as a confidential resource for resolving disputes at the lowest level possible. See Chapter 13 for more information about an ombudsman office.
After you have a system in place, create a communiqué to notify employees what the various options are and how to use them. The memo should set the expectation that you (or the company) won't act on every request, but that you're interested in looking at patterns or learning something new. Asking employees to help brainstorm a new or different way to address recurring issues is a great way to broaden the ideas for a long-term resolution.
No matter which feedback loop you create, be sure to communicate to your employees how and when you'll respond. Even when a change you make is small or the question asked is minor, responding demonstrates that everyone has a chance to be part of a solution.
Warning
Whatever you do, if it's within your power, don't ask for opinions and then do nothing about them. Asking and then ignoring leads to employees who are no longer willing to tell you the truth. Your staff would much rather have you acknowledge the complaint and explain your reasons for not changing it than see you sweep the concern under the rug but keep asking whether there's anything you can do to make their working environment better.
In times of conflict and uncertainty, do what you can to keep the working environment running smoothly. Daily upheaval is both distracting and overwhelming so any time you have the opportunity to address issues and follow up with ways your staff can still feel good about their work, do it.
A major contributor to keeping the work going is accessing your team's motivation. If that motivation still exists, this task may be as simple as you reminding them what's important about what they do and helping them recapture why they come to work every day. Your team may need your help to see how their jobs contribute to the organization's mission, contribute to their own personal goals, or benefit the clientele.
If a conflict has destroyed or severely diminished your team members' core motivation, help them find another reason or goal to work toward. Coming up with other ways to motivate your team in an otherwise hopeless environment can be tricky, but start by being creative and working within your means. Ask yourself a few questions to get the brainstorming started:
What has motivated your team in the past?
Who might you call on for ideas?
What is within your power to change or offer as a new motivation?
For example, if receiving commissions is the main motivation for a team of salespeople and the commission program getting axed has caused some angry reactions, find new ways to motivate them. I use that example because if you were to ask the salespeople what they want, they'd probably respond by saying, "We want our commission structure back." But you probably couldn't accommodate them because you don't have the power to undo what higher-ups have changed. In that case, you'd need to find something else that can calm the situation. Perhaps there isn't enough money in the budget for everyone to receive a bonus, but a quarterly contest with one or two winners may get folks back on track. Or reorganizing accounts so the reps get home by 5 p.m. every day may be the answer. Include the team in the realistic brainstorming session, but come up with a few ideas to get them started.
Some conflicts can cause uncertainty in the actual work you and your team are trying to accomplish. Confusion in job responsibilities is not only unsettling to employees but also devastating to productivity and employee effectiveness. In these situations, provide as much structure as you can. Be clear about job tasks and work objectives, even if you can only speak to those things on a day-to-day basis. If you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, at least encourage your employees to move forward on what they can do today. Specifically, prioritize projects that need attention and that you know will need to be completed regardless of the outcome of the conflict.
Tip
Consider breaking work into smaller increments to help employees see their contributions and feel a sense of success in an otherwise dreary setting. Set specific goals and benchmarks within a detailed plan for how and when those items will be completed. Having a plan will allow employees to stay more focused and feel less hopeless about the situation.
An employee may be not able to control her workload, but she can certainly make a choice about how much energy she's willing to invest in the ongoing problems. Share with your team the information I give in Chapter 19 concerning what you can control in a conflict.
If your team is having a tough time focusing on the job at hand, consider frequent and brief meetings focused on work topics. Depending on the needs of your group, frequent could mean daily, biweekly, or weekly check-ins that keep everyone moving forward. A few staff members may grumble about the frequency, but if you explain their importance, they should come around.
Tip
Having more frequent, shorter meetings keeps the discussion task-focused and helps staff keep their attention on projects and deadlines. If members of your team aren't getting along, encouraging them to speak to each other in small increments about work topics begins to demonstrate their ability to communicate on some level and sets the stage for discussing the tough issues.
How you handle yourself during a conflict speaks volumes and influences how you team will handle conflicts in the future. You're definitely leading by example, so model the behaviors you expect from your staff. I can't tell you everything you need to know about being a leader — that's a subject for a whole separate book (it's called Leadership For Dummies, by Marshall Loeb and Stephen Kindel [Wiley]) — but what I can tell you are a few core components of leadership that have worked for successful managers I know:
Be invested in the people. Your team needs to know they can trust you and that you have their best interests in mind. As a manager, you can easily get a reputation that you're only beholden to the company, but what is a company without the people who work there? Show your employees respect and consideration, and they'll do the same for you.
Have a good track record (and I don't mean your time in the 100-yard dash). Employees look up to managers who have been able to provide consistency in creating stable, positive, and productive work environments. Your ability to get things done motivates others to look to you for leadership. Quickly address the issues over which you have direct control. Showing your team that you're responsive to the small stuff sets the stage for when larger issues loom.
Show that you can provide support. Employees in a conflict environment need someone they can turn to and trust. Show that you're able to provide support by listening and clearly capturing their concerns. Then let your team know that you're voicing their concerns to the right people in the appropriate venues.
Show up every day with confidence and optimism. Coming to work with something good to say, in some cases, can mean the difference between loyalty and revolt! Have a physical presence — even if you're at a loss as to what to say to make an employee feel better. Sure, some days will challenge your resolve, but your employees need to know that it isn't all doom and gloom. Prepare yourself for difficult days by doing what you can to help yourself stay calm. If you're walking into a battlefield each day, find a way to center yourself before forging ahead. Showing up to work nervous and frazzled sends a message to your team that something's up and they need to worry.
Maintain trust. Trust is a key ingredient in leadership. Your team won't look to you for advice or go along with your directives if they don't trust you. And because most people need to see a pattern of experiences and actions before they're willing to trust someone, it may take time to build a trusting relationship with your group. For starters, be consistent in your words and actions.
Setting unrealistic expectations leads to trouble, so be clear about your role in the situation. Are you a direct player that can influence the outcome? Or are you also waiting to see what answers will be handed down from the top? Don't overstate or understate your role in the problems. Instead, let your team know what is within your control and what you plan to do. Be honest with the team and you'll maintain their trust, even if you're not able to get them what they want.
Take care of yourself. Simply put, being a leader isn't easy. Take some time to tap into a good support system and take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Make sure you have someone you can talk to and lean on. No one can handle the behaviors and emotions of a group in conflict alone, so don't be afraid to ask for help. Consider confiding in family, friends, a colleague, a mental health professional, or a spiritual leader. Confidential venting not only releases your emotions and frustrations, but also frees your mind to think creatively.
Warning
Be careful, though, when you're venting to make sure that you're not sharing with someone who'll only support your views and add fuel to the fire. Process your emotions with someone who can listen, be honest with his observations, and then help you look for creative options.
Do things you enjoy that give you renewed energy, and give those activities some priority in your life. Work takes a lot of your time and energy, but you need to make sure it doesn't consume your life. You and your team will benefit if you can focus on yourself once in a while.
Though misery loves company, asking employees to find positive ways to stay connected is a better use of your time than trying to fend off a mutiny. When stress is high because of a conflict, it's normal for a group to start to fracture. Efforts to build up the team can help. Plus, encouraging staff to support each other through the conflict takes some of the pressure off you to be everything to everyone.
Team members build stronger bonds when they have common ground, through either shared interests or similar experiences. Two people can bond over simple things, like loving the same baseball team or finding out they're both the youngest in a family of five siblings. Anything that helps co-workers relate to one another is useful in team building, so use what you can to create shared experiences that may lessen the impact of problems in the future.
A good, proactive way to get employees to create and maintain relationships is to provide opportunities for them to interact on both professional and personal levels. Often the most successful team-building exercises involve everyone learning something new about themselves and their co-workers. Learning something new can shed a fresh light on how people view each other and, ultimately, how they interact with each other.
There are plenty of team-building exercises out there, and a quick Internet search will provide a long list of possibilities. As you're researching ideas, consider the personalities and characteristics of your team as a whole and pick something appropriate for them. If you have a team who loves physical activity and being outside, consider a ropes course or similar activities. If your group likes reading, maybe you start a book club. Or if your group likes movies or sports events, look for ways to incorporate those into a group activity. Be creative — nothing is worse than forcing your team to participate in an activity they hate. You don't want their dislike of the activity to be the only thing they have in common!
When planning team-building exercises, take into account that you probably have a variety of likes and dislikes on the team and make a few compromises to accommodate the group as a whole. A ropes course may not be the best idea for an employee who has a fear of heights, but you can arrange for her to cheer the rest of the group on and participate in the team-building exercises that take place on the ground.
Note
I once participated in a tournament day with a team of golf fanatics with a little fear and trepidation because I knew that I had never picked up a club in my life. To my surprise, the manager had arranged for a handful of us to receive a lesson from the pro during the morning, and we joined up with the rest of the group at lunch. We all bonded over sharing what each group had done that day, and those of us who received a lesson had gained enough knowledge of the sport to participate in future water cooler discussions.
Even something as simple as a delicious snack in the break room can help people feel a little better about their day. (I know I'm a sucker for a gooey doughnut!) Spend a little time thinking about how you can create spontaneous opportunities for lighthearted conversations or activities.
If you have the opportunity to offer an activity during business hours, consider getting everyone out for a few hours for something like a brunch, lunch, or bowling excursion. A client once told me that the best thing his boss did during a stressful time was treat everyone to a movie in the middle of the afternoon. The team had a great time, went directly home from the theater, and came in the next day with a common topic to discuss that had nothing to do with the conflict they were facing. Whew!
Warning
Be careful about requesting off-hours time from your employees. Planning a group event like a weekend picnic or a night out can give the employees a non-work-related task to collaborate on, but it can also demonstrate how "management" has no clue about the demands they place on staff and their families.
Note
Lightening the mood doesn't have to cost a thing. For example, some employeeson a small team were trying to work through a conflict that was caused by changes outside the group. They were becoming increasingly uneasy on the job most days. The manager knew they shared an interest in card games, so he invited them to get together to play a few hands in the break room. The game had nothing to do with work, but it served as a great distraction and made for some friendly banter in an otherwise tension-filled day. After the initial game, people would spontaneously get the group together at lunch and play cards. It was the team's way of empowering themselves to stay connected during a stressful time and have a little fun, regardless of external issues.