- Copyright
- About the Author
- Author's Acknowledgments
- Publisher's Acknowledgments
- Introduction
- I. Understanding Conflict in the Workplace
- 1. An Overview of Conflict Resolution at Work
- 2. Understanding What People Bring to Conflict
- 2.1. Rediscovering Communication
- 2.2. Figuring Out Why People Think the Way They Do
- 2.3. Considering the Importance of Emotions
- 2.4. Responding to Conflict
- 3. Determining How Groups Contribute to Conflict
- 4. Practicing Self-Awa reness: Understanding How Managers Foster Conflict
- 5. Knowing When to Address Conflict
- 5.1. Assessing the Cost and Severity of the Conflict
- 5.2. Approaching Employees and Gathering Information
- 5.3. Evaluating the Details of the Conflict
- 5.4. Empowering Employees to Handle the Issue Themselves
- 5.4.1. Providing tips for success
- 5.4.2. Motivating your employees to succeed
- 5.4.3. Wrapping it up
- 5.4.4. Watching their progress
- 5.4.4.1. Complimenting their progress
- 5.4.4.2. Knowing what to watch for
- 5.4.4.3. Responding to progress
- II. Resolving a Conflict between Two or More of Your Employees
- 6. Developing a Plan and Preparing for a Meeting
- 6.1. Preparing the Parties for a Conversation
- 6.2. Setting Up the Meeting
- 7. Starting a Mediation Meeting and Creating a Working Agenda
- 8. Negotiating Possible Solutions to a Conflict
- 9. Offering Proposals and Crafting Agreements
- 9.1. Continuing Negotiations
- 9.2. Proceeding with the meeting
- 9.3. Developing Solutions and Agreements during Open Session
- 9.4. Concluding the Meeting and Helping Everyone Leave with Optimism
- 10. Adapting a Conflict Meeting for the Entire Team
- 10.1. Acting as Facilitator
- 10.2. Gathering Information from the Group
- 10.3. Assessing the Intensity of a Conflict
- 10.4. Formulating a Meeting Plan
- 10.5. Kicking Off the Group Meeting
- 10.6. Devising a Team Plan for Follow-up
- 11. Monitoring Agreements and Progress
- 6. Developing a Plan and Preparing for a Meeting
- III. Using Additional Resources to Resolve the Conflict
- 12. Keeping a Team Focused During a Conflict
- 12.1. Addressing Safety or Legal Issues
- 12.2. Limiting Chatter
- 12.2.1. Being upfront and consistent
- 12.2.2. Finding the time and place to address conflict
- 12.2.3. Limiting closed-door meetings
- 12.2.4. Creating ways to voice concern
- 12.2.5. Sticking to Business as Usual
- 12.2.6. Motivating your employees
- 12.2.7. Keeping your team members focused on what they can control
- 12.2.8. Having regular work meetings
- 12.2.9. Building a Reputation as a Leader
- 12.2.10. Encouraging Team Building
- 12.2.11. Highlighting common interests and creating positive shared experiences
- 12.2.12. Lightening the mood
- 13. Determining How Your Company Can Help
- 14. Getting Outside Experts to Facilitate Resolutions
- 14.1. Why Managers Do or Don't Call in Help
- 14.2. Considering the Menu of Professional Services
- 14.3. Going to Arbitration
- 14.4. Hiring an Expert and Knowing What to Expect
- 14.4.1. Starting with referrals
- 14.4.2. Determining qualifications
- 14.4.3. Contracting with a professional
- 14.4.4. Understanding the process for intake and gathering information
- 14.4.4.1. The intake process with you
- 14.4.4.2. The intake process with employees
- IV. Smoothly Handling Conflict When You're One of the People Involved
- 15. Identifying What Both Sides Want
- 16. Asking for a Meeting to Talk about the Conflict
- 17. Sitting Down to Talk Through the Issues
- 17.1. Preparing to Mediate Your Own Conflict
- 17.2. Getting the One-on-One Started
- 17.3. Sharing Perspectives
- 17.4. Creating an Agenda
- 17.5. Looking for Win/Win Solutions
- 17.6. Concluding the Discussion
- 18. Tailoring Your Approach to the Organizational Chart
- V. The Part of Tens
- 19. Ten Things You Can Control When You're in an Unresolved Conflict
- 20. Ten Reasons Managers Give for Not Addressing Conflict
- 20.1. I Don't Really Know How
- 20.2. I Don't Want to Open a Can of Worms
- 20.3. I Haven't Been Successful Before
- 20.4. Problem? What Problem?
- 20.5. I Don't Know Where to Start
- 20.6. It's Not My Business
- 20.7. I'm Not a Babysitter
- 20.8. I Have Real Work to Do
- 20.9. I Don't Want to Have to Fire Anyone
- 20.10. I Don't Want to Look Bad
- 21. Ten Pearls of Wisdom from Professional Mediators
- 21.1. Value the Process as Much as the Outcome
- 21.2. Accept That Her Truth Is Her Reality
- 21.3. Rapport Matters
- 21.4. Be Present and Available
- 21.5. Find Common Ground for More Success
- 21.6. Be Aware That This Isn't the Participants' Best Moment
- 21.7. Silence Is Golden
- 21.8. Be Curious
- 21.9. Fear Rules the World
- 21.10. Look to the Future
- 12. Keeping a Team Focused During a Conflict
I'd like to thank all the people who played a part in bringing this book to life, including my Wiley friends Mike Lewis, Rhea Siegel, Sarah Faulkner, Elizabeth Rea, Elizabeth Kuball, Todd Lothery, and Gary Zimmerman. Big thanks also to the countless family and friends who candidly answered my questions about their personal struggles in the workplace.
The brilliant staff at the Dispute Resolution Center of Snohomish & Island Counties (in Everett, Washington) deserve much credit for their unselfish work and writing prowess. Thanks to the DRC employees for their level heads and warm hearts. Specifically:
Ryan Mattfeld, Certified Mediator and Senior Trainer at the DRC, who has a BA in Sociology from Western Washington University. Ryan is responsible for developing DRC trainings as well as designing new mediation products and materials. Ryan lives in Seattle with his wife, Christine, and their son, Reese.
Melissa Mertz, Certified Mediator and Mediation/Training Coordinator, who manages the Mediator Certification and Volunteer Mediator programs, as well as office operations. She has a BS degree in Criminal Justice from the University of North Dakota. She lives in Everett with her husband, Chris.
LaDessa Croucher, Certified Mediator and Ombudsman, who has mediated for the DRC of Missoula County in Montana and the Mediation Center of the Pacific in Hawaii. She has a BA in Communication Studies from the University of Montana and coordinates the Small Claims Mediation Program in Snohomish County.
Kathy Rice, Executive Mediator and Program Manager, who has mediated more than 1,000 cases in her career. She has worked in the field of conflict resolution for over 16 years, designing, customizing, and providing successful conflict resolution trainings, mediations, and services.
The Dispute Resolution Center is an alternative justice center that provides a wide range of ADR services, including mediation, training, and a full array of workplace conflict resolution services. Its program Director, Matt Phillips, JD, has worked in the field of ADR for 10 years. The DRC is a program of the Volunteers of America Western Washington. Special thanks to Gloria Elledge, Kathleen Rostkoski, and Anahi Machiavelli for holding down the fort while the rest of us wrote.
-
No Comment