CHAPTER 2

Bringing emotional
intelligence to life –
through your body

The human body

The human body is an incredibly complex and integrated web of systems that is still not completely understood today. However, advances in technology and multiple fields of scientific research over the last two decades have helped scientists understand more about how these systems impact on one another, how they communicate with one another and the brain, and how they affect our emotional state, our health and our personal performance.

To try to understand these complicated connections, let’s start with some biology. Being “alive” means that our bodily systems are continually functioning, each creating a unique stream of information that is communicated between the body and the brain.

This information is transmitted in a variety of ways, determined by your physiology or your biochemistry. For example, your organs, such as heart, lungs, liver, gut and kidneys, transmit electrical, electromagnetic and chemical signals, while your systems, such as immune, nervous and endocrine, transmit pressure, sound or heat waves.

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With all these streams of information passing around your body, it is not surprising that your body is in a constant state of flux as energy is created and moves through it.

What is emotion?

Emotion is sometimes explained as energy in motion (that is, “e-motion”), referring to the shifting energy within the body. This shift in energy is a signal to the brain. Once the brain has received this cue, it is able to interpret the emotion into a feeling and start to prepare the body for action.

For example – you are walking along and look up to see an overhead sign swinging wildly on its fixings. Internally, certain neurons and hormones are triggered; the brain recognizes the energy (e-motion) created by these and brings this to your consciousness. Consequently you feel fear and you jump out of the way.

Most emotions will be fleeting, and will therefore remain below the level of consciousness. However, when emotions come into the consciousness they are experienced as feelings.

Where do emotions come from?

There has been, and continues to be, considerable debate about where emotions come from. Do emotions start in the body and influence the brain? Does the brain conceive emotion and influence the body? Or is it possible that they can start in either the body or the brain?

Jack Meyer said: “An emotion occurs when there are certain bio-logical, certain experiential and certain cognitive states which all occur simultaneously.”

And according to the neuroscientist Antonia Damasio, emotion is “an awareness of the current state of the body”. Therefore Damasio would say that emotions come from within and are the brain’s interpretation of the internal state.

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That’s not to say that the external environment has no part to play in terms of evoking emotion. Sensory information, such as what is being seen or heard, or the perception of what is happening around, can create a change within the body. For example, if you were to see a colleague walking towards you in an aggressive manner, this image would provoke a reaction within your nervous system and would affect your internal state. The brain would then receive patterns of data from the nerve cells and interpret the emotion of fear.

Thoughts and memories can also trigger emotions. Thinking about a frightening event can activate the same neural and hormonal reactions as actually seeing something that evokes fear. For example, by thinking about someone behaving aggressively, you can physically experience the emotion of fear. You may even have experienced this through reading a good thriller.

Similarly, recalling a specific memory can recreate powerful emotions too. Reflect for a minute on a particularly happy event or joyous moment in your life; for example, your graduation ceremony, the day you got the job you really wanted, or your wedding day. Create the scene in your mind and, if you can, rekindle the emotion; perhaps joy, happiness or pride.

What role do emotions play?

Emotions give situations meaning. Without emotions, you would react spontaneously and robotically to events around you, with no control over your response. You would not be able to influence outcomes or achieve your goals or desires.

Having emotions means new information that is received is assessed and evaluated in relation to your past experiences, your ambitions and your desire. The emotion prepares your body and you are then able to act in a manner that is beneficial to you and to the situation.

Emotions are crucial to learning and memory. They motivate you toward seeking new knowledge and achieving rewards. They also help you to avoid harm and distress.

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Emotions are also key to your social communication. Your facial expression, tone of voice and even your body language will convey to others something of what you are thinking and feeling. Around the world, across cultures, there is remarkable consistency in our facial expressions associated with certain feelings like happiness, fear and anger.

What is a feeling?

Feelings stem from your energy in motion (e-motion) and become real through your mind’s subjective awareness. The degree of awareness of your feelings varies depending on how in tune you are with your body. Some people are more aware of what they are feeling than others are. You may remember a colleague saying something like, “Are you feeling OK today? You don’t seem yourself.” Sometimes, it is not until another person has commented that you stop and reflect on how you are feeling.

Let’s look at three different types of feeling.

1. Physiological feeling

You will be familiar with the feeling of being cold, hungry or tired. The relevant bodily area or system will have communicated this to your brain through temperature waves, pressure waves or glucose levels. It is also likely that you will have experienced hot, sweaty palms, a knot in your stomach or shortness of breath when you have been in a state of anxiety or felt under pressure. At one time or another you will certainly have felt your heart beating faster, perhaps when you have unexpectedly been asked to join a meeting to give your opinion.

These physiological feelings can be very strong, and your heartbeat is one of the most powerful signals that your brain receives. Later in this chapter you will see just how it can affect you. In Chapter 4 you will then learn how you can control your heart rate effectively through your breathing.

2. Intuitive feeling

You may well experience those moments of “knowingness”. Perhaps you use the term “gut feeling”, or intuition. It’s on those occasions that you may feel you have a sixth sense. This is an intuitive feeling that comes from within. It’s a stored emotional memory, linked to a previous experience. Intuitive feelings can be very powerful. Being in tune and learning to trust these feelings can not only assist in decision making, but is also especially important when dealing with people.

3. Emotional feeling

You’ll regularly experience the six basic emotions of:

• Happiness.

• Disgust.

• Surprise.

• Sadness.

• Anger.

• Fear.

You may well be able to label a plethora of others.

The English language has between 3,000 and 4,000 labels for different emotional states, both positive and negative, and these verbal labels try to convey what the emotion is like as an experience.

Each of your emotional feelings will be characterized very differently and will move through different parts of your body. Being able to define a specific feeling and recognize its energy path is important, and means that you can:

• Recreate positive emotions and become more resourceful.

• Distinguish subtle differences between emotions like frustration and annoyance; and therefore choose the most appropriate response/action.

Have a look at the exercise on the next page and begin to characterize your emotions.

Exercise – Describing your feelings

Identify a positive feeling that you are familiar with. Let’s take pride as an example.

1. Recall a time you felt very proud.

2. Relive the moment and feel your pride (you may find it easier to close your eyes).

3. Now ask yourself:

• Where is it located?

• What size is it?

• What colour is it?

• Is there any sound?

• Is there any associated temperature?

• How intense is this feeling?

• How is it moving through my body?

• How does it move away from my body?

• Is there any special feature?

4. Jot your description down in a notebook and add other familiar positive feelings, such as enthusiasm or curiosity.

5. Once you are familiar with a feeling, practise turning it on. After a while, it will become so easy you’ll be able to do it whenever you need to!

How can emotions affect you and others?

Your mood

A mood is a state of mind that tends to be relatively long lasting. Moods differ from emotions in that they are less specific, are less intense and less likely to be triggered by a particular stimulus or event. The cause of a mood can be hours, days or even weeks old. You can’t stop a mood from coming on, but you can control it and how long it stays.

Moods are generally defined as being either positive or negative, and you will no doubt be used to expressing your own state of mind in terms of being in a good mood or a bad mood (for example, “I’ve woken in a good mood today,” or “That’s put me in a bad mood”). Your mood lets you know if something is making you feel good or something is wrong and needs attention.

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Your mood differs from your temperament or personality traits, which are even more general and longer lasting. However, personality traits, such as optimism or pessimism, will tend to predispose you to certain types of moods, and you may find it useful to think about whether you are a “glass half full” or “glass half empty” person.

While your mood is an internal, subjective state that may not affect the specific task you are doing, it can last for hours or days. It can also be picked up and detected by those around you through your posture, the aura you create, or your specific behaviours.

Your mood has an impact on others. If positive, it will create positivity in others. If negative, it will create negativity in others.

Being in control of your mood is essential to good communication. Studies have shown that how well or badly people handle their emotions determines the degree to which others prefer to deal with them. If you can show a degree of consistency of mood, it is much easier for others to deal with you than with someone whose moods swing wildly.

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Your physiology

Emotions are vital to the higher levels of human intelligence and performance. Contrary to some popular notions, emotions do not get in the way of rational thinking, but are in fact essential to rationality. However, emotions can impair your rational thinking if you don’t have the ability to control or alter your own physiology.

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Just imagine you are in a very positive frame of mind. You are feeling enthusiastic, motivated and passionate about the project you are working on. Inside your body, energy is moving around freely in a continuous flowing stream, your heart is beating rhythmically, and the electrical signals generated from your heart are smooth, regular and consistent. This is considered an ideal state for clarity of thinking and high level performance, and is referred to as a “state of coherence”.

Now imagine you are challenged by someone who doesn’t agree with the content of your latest report. You become frustrated by their comments, angry that they could criticize your work and anxious that you may now have to work really late to revise the document. Your negative feelings are now having an impact internally. You can feel the knot in your stomach or perhaps you are getting hot under the collar. Maybe your breath is shortening and your heart is racing. What is clear is that your physiology is changing, and your bodily systems have now moved into a state of chaos. As a result the signals to your brain are impaired and your ability to think clearly, make rational decisions and resolve the issue is affected.

In this instance your emotions have “got in the way”. They have upset your physiology, impaired your ability to think rationally and affected your overall performance.

Your ability to sustain a high level of performance is linked to your ability to control or alter your own physiology. So how can you do this? One way would be to learn the techniques in Chapter 3 that will help you to eliminate negative feelings and stop yourself from entering this chaotic zone. However, it is inevitable that situations will occasionally arise when you will find yourself in a state of chaos. One of the quickest ways to return some equilibrium to your bodily systems is to consciously regulate your breathing. You will learn how to do this in Chapter 4.

Your health

Handling your emotions can have consequences for your health and physical wellbeing, both positively and negatively.

For many years, doctors discounted the impact of emotion on health. However, the relatively new science of psychoneuroimmunology shows a biochemical connection between the brain and the immune system that offers a pathway for emotional states to affect health. A Harvard study gives a powerful example of this: 122 men who had suffered their first heart attack were assessed for optimism. Eight years later, of the 25 most pessimistic men, 21 had died; of the 25 most optimistic, just 6 had died.

Evidence is building that suggests the negative emotions of hostility, depression and pessimism can make the body more readily succumb to disease. Disturbing emotions, if prolonged and habitual, may be as strong a medical risk as smoking.

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Conversely, in cases of women with breast cancer, the intelligent management of difficult emotions such as anger, sadness, fear and grief has helped the body to fight disease.

All this suggests that you would be wise to manage your emotions well, and to eliminate the negative emotions as much as possible. It is worth bearing in mind that stress is the single largest cause of absenteeism in the UK and is commonly associated with the over stimulus of the hormone cortisol, which is released when the body is in a state of chaos.

Your influence on others around you

You now understand that you should develop the power to control your feelings, to change your moods and even alter your physiology. However, you may not be aware that you also have the power to change the physiology and emotions of others around you.

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Studies have shown that, after just fifteen minutes in conversation, two people with differing bodily rhythms at the start can have very similar physiological profiles by the end.

This occurrence is largely due to the open loop design of our emotional or limbic system within our brain. This open loop means that your body transmits signals that can alter the hormone levels, cardiovascular function, sleep rhythm and even the immune function inside the body of others.

By changing the physiology of another person you can also change their emotions. You may have already noticed this yourself. Perhaps you have gone into a meeting feeling down, but after spending half an hour with your upbeat, cheery colleagues, you left feeling a lot better.

People “catch” feelings and moods from others. Our emotions spread like viruses, and good moods, like cheerfulness and warmth, spread most easily. How easily you can pass on your emotional state depends how expressively you convey your feelings through your facial expressions, your voice and your gestures. The more open you are and the better you are at expressing your own enthusiasm, the more readily others will feel the same contagious passion.

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Moods influence how effectively people work, so if you want to boost co-operation, show fairness and enhance business performance, ensure you are in an upbeat mood.

Laughter is a great signal too. You can be assured that if two people are laughing, it usually means they are on the same wavelength. It sends a reassuring message and can create a chain reaction as it sweeps through a team. You have probably heard the phrase “your smile is your greatest asset”. Smiles are the most contagious of all emotional signals. Do a little research yourself: try smiling at someone later today and see just how hard it is for them to resist smiling back.

Getting started

Step 1

Your starting point is to gather data on yourself by completing the EI self-perception questionnaire on the following pages. This data is based on your own perception of your current level of emotional intelligence.

Step 2

Having completed the questionnaire, for each group of five statements, add together the numbers circled and record the total score in the space provided; for example, 2+4+2+3+3 = a total score of 14.

NB: These scores are intended only as an approximate indicator of your level of emotional intelligence, and not an absolute.

Step 3

Take the total score for each element (for example, self-awareness, emotional resilience, and so on), and plot this on to the corresponding blade of the EI Energy Generator on page 39.

As you move through the book and learn more about each of the EI elements, you will be able to re-evaluate your data and identify areas for personal development.

Step 4

You will now be ready to move on to Chapter 3. Here you will gain a greater sense of self-awareness – the most important aspect of EI, and essential for your journey through the book.

Emotional intelligence self-perception
questionnaire

Instructions

For each statement, rate yourself on the following scale by circling the appropriate number – for example:

I am able to recognize my emotions.

When considering each statement, do not spend too long on each one, and imagine yourself in a work context.

1 = Not at all

2 = To a small extent

3 = To some extent

4 = To a great extent

5 = To a very great extent

1. I am able to recognize my emotions.	1 2 3 4 5
2. I stay in control when I am angry.	1 2 3 4 5
3. I am aware of the impact my moods have on other people.	1 2 3 4 5
4. I am able to express my emotions in an appropriate manner.	1 2 3 4 5
5. I am aware of situations that cause me to think negatively.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Self-awareness	_______
6. I act decisively when faced with a tough decision, including staff issues.	1 2 3 4 5
7. I am able to perform consistently under pressure.	1 2 3 4 5
8. I am able to press my case in the face of opposition.	1 2 3 4 5
9. I am able to deal with challenge or criticism.	1 2 3 4 5
10. I regulate my work/life balance in order to be resilient.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Emotional resilience	_______
11. I have sufficient levels of energy to ensure the completion of tasks and projects.	1 2 3 4 5
12. I have a positive outlook on life.	1 2 3 4 5
13 I am able to balance my short- and long-term goals effectively.	1 2 3 4 5
14. I am able to pursue my goals in the face of rejection or questioning.	1 2 3 4 5
15. I overcome despondency when things go wrong.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Motivation	_______
16. Before making a decision I listen to the views of others.	1 2 3 4 5
17. I am aware when others are upset.	1 2 3 4 5
18. I am able to put myself in others’ shoes and acknowledge their feelings.	1 2 3 4 5
19. I achieve “buy in” to decisions and ideas for action.	1 2 3 4 5
20. I take into account the input received from others when making a decision.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Interpersonal sensitivity	_______
21. I listen to the perspective of others before trying to persuade them.	1 2 3 4 5
22. I provide a rationale for change when trying to persuade others.	1 2 3 4 5
23. I find it easy to persuade others to change their viewpoint.	1 2 3 4 5
24. I receive a positive response to my views on direction and goals.	1 2 3 4 5
25. I make sure I know where others are coming from before trying to persuade them.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Influence	_______
26. I make decisions quickly when necessary.	1 2 3 4 5
27. I can make decisions without waiting for all the information.	1 2 3 4 5
28. I am prepared to act upon my inner judgement.	1 2 3 4 5
29. I am happy to make decisions even if the given information is ambiguous.	1 2 3 4 5
30. I feel comfortable with risk.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Intuitiveness	_______
31. I adhere to expected standards of personal conduct.	1 2 3 4 5
32. I adhere to prevailing ethical norms when making business decisions.	1 2 3 4 5
33. I pursue an ethical solution to a difficult business issue.	1 2 3 4 5
34. I lead by example.	1 2 3 4 5
35. I demonstrate integrity and honesty.	1 2 3 4 5
TOTAL SCORE: Conscientiousness	_______

The EI Energy Generator

Your EI Energy Generator comprises seven blades, each one representing one of the seven elements of the Higgs & Dulewicz EI framework. Each blade is inter-related and of equal importance. By embracing all the elements simultaneously, you will become a highly emotionally intelligent individual.

Having now plotted your EI scores, you can see to what extent your blades are balanced.

The EI Energy Generator is intended to be a motivational tool. You may be concerned, surprised or pleased by the level of your emotional intelligence.

Now it’s time to identify and commit to the elements you want to strengthen.

The El Energy Generator

Coach’s notes