NEURON SECRET FIVE

The Principle of Courage: It takes courage to have integrity and to be accountable

King George VI, whose real name was Albert, ruled England from 1936 until his death in 1952. Most Brits laughed when he assumed the throne. They wondered how he had succeeded his brother, Edward VIII, who was far more handsome, charismatic, and understandable. Albert had been plagued with a serious speech impediment that Edward chided him about constantly.

Edward appeared to be the lion, full of fortitude and blessed with a fluent tongue, while Albert assumed the role of a reclusive sheep, destined to live in his brother's shadow. Underneath Edward's façade, however, lurked an undisciplined jackal. He was sometimes a bit hedonistic and politically immature. In contrast, Albert held his head high and exhibited dignity and determination. Had his brother Edward not abdicated the throne in 1936, to marry Wallis Simpson, the Nazis might have conquered Britain.

Albert assumed the throne, but his impediment was so bad that he couldn't even pronounce the letter “k,” a decidedly bad thing for a guy whose first name had just become “King.” His constant stammering mocked him whenever he opened his mouth and served as a terrifying reminder of his shortcomings. How could he possibly hope to lead if he couldn't inform and inspire the masses? It seemed that his debilitation would not allow him to shed his sheep's skin to become the lion that England desperately needed.

This problem was exacerbated by the invention of the wireless radio. English subjects sat in their living rooms, cocked an ear toward their radios, and waited patiently for their king to speak. Much to Albert's dismay, he could speak to millions, but he could not pre‐record the broadcasts. This meant he had to endure his ultimate agony: speaking live into a microphone while stuttering and stammering incessantly.

Even worse, Albert knew that the Nazis were also listening to his broadcasts. Lord Haw‐Haw, during his Germany Calling radio shows, often joked about England's “stammering King.”

Albert could have let his disability define him, own him, and keep him from becoming a great leader. He could have allowed fear and a lack of confidence to deprive the world of a king that changed history. Instead, he found the courage to not only gain more control over his tongue, but to also turn his deficit into a valuable asset. By facing the microphone to muddle through a long speech, Albert offered inspiration to the fearful and the downtrodden. His example of courage become the flag they charged behind, the banner of their defiance against Nazi tyranny, and their symbol of the hope to prevail against impossible odds.

To accomplish this feat, Albert enlisted the help of Lionel Logue, an Australian speech therapist, who taught the stuttering king how to slow down and dictate clearly. Logue did so by employing what the ancients would have referred to as philia love. He did not force, harass, or embarrass Albert into submission, but he did “call him on his crap.” He refused to let Albert make excuses or shun the hard work necessary to succeed.

After months of frustrating and difficult practice, Albert never became fully cured of his impediment, but he did become proficient enough to deliver his clear and understandable vision of a bright and glorious future for all of England.

On September 3, 1939, Albert was called upon to deliver one of the most important speeches in history. He dressed in his naval uniform and approached the desk at Buckingham Palace. Although his throat tightened with fear, he looked deep into the eyes of his teacher and found the courage to remove his jacket, open a window, and step toward the microphone.

Logue stared into Albert's eyes and reminded the king to forget and to focus. Forget about everyone else and focus only on the importance of the message and the love of his country and its citizens. While announcing a declaration of war on Germany, Albert's delivery was clear, understandable, and majestic. He had found the will and the way to remove his sheep's wool jacket and open wide the window to his brave lion soul. He and Logue eventually became good friends and remained so until Albert's death on February 6, 1952.

While alive, Albert did not know he was a lion. He never imagined that he'd be anything more than a sheep, let alone find the fortitude and ability to lead an entire nation. By delivering philia “tough love,” Logue had helped Albert to see his true potential and become the lion leader he was meant to be.

PHILIA LOVE

Philia is the Greek word for love that involves an abiding friendship, which is a key element of the Fifth Neuron Secret: The Principle of Courage: It takes courage to have integrity and to be accountable.

Like eros, this principle may sound emotional, but it's actually more instinctual. The ancient Greeks understood well that courageous veterans who have fought and bled together on the battlefield readily share this type of love. Loyal comrades who have experienced adversity together and protected each other from harm often develop a close brotherly or sisterly love that is underscored by trust and respect.

We've all heard stories of bravery on the battlefield, and perhaps we've wondered how these men and women found the courage to risk life and limb to face great dangers. Maybe we've wondered if we had the “chops” to accomplish something great or accomplish anything at all. Maybe we've thought of ourselves as too timid to lead or just brave enough to rise to middle management but not much further.

You can become a courageous lion that others trust and respect by first finding your heart, embracing your passions, and being brave enough to empathize with and care about those whom you lead. To do this, you must act with conviction, and above all, with unwavering integrity. You must also continuously demonstrate the courage to make difficult decisions.

Plato once said that “courage is knowing what not to fear.” What most leaders fear most when making difficult decisions is the uncertainty of the outcome. It's easy to focus on worst‐case scenarios that may never happen. It's harder to disengage our fight or flight instincts and quantify the consequences. What we often discover is that the worst‐case possibility is highly unlikely and not as bad as we thought.

This famous quote is attributed to Alexander the Great: “I would not fear a pack of lions led by a sheep, but I would always fear a flock of sheep led by a lion.” This means that a great leader with the courage of a lion can lead an army to victory, whereas an army of lions led by a sheep may be destined for failure.

Although some of us are intimidated by strong personalities or in awe of great leaders, others are just the opposite. Their mettle is like iron, and raw strength runs through them like lava through the guts of a volcano. They have an abundance of lion's blood and can't understand how anyone could be a sheep. If that's you, hopefully this chapter will offer some enlightenment to help you realize that leading by force or intimidation is only temporarily effective and can have disastrous long‐term effects.

Leaders should seek not to create a farm filled with sheep so they can feel like the “Great and Terrible Oz,” but instead build a team of lion leaders. If an army of sheep led by a courageous lion can win battles, imagine what a team of lions led by a lion can do.

The Greeks viewed philia as a special form of friendship that requires shared goodwill. Aristotle believed that we can only offer that goodwill to others provided we adhere to three conditions: First, we must be useful in some way to each other. Second, we must maintain a respectful and pleasant demeanor. And third, we must be rational and virtuous.

Relationships based on these three foundational elements ensure mutual benefit, integrity, dependability, and trust. Plato believed that philia transcended a surface‐level form of friendship wherein two people learn to love each other by tearing down the walls that divide them. He felt that philia love could only be achieved if it came to life after an initial eros type of love. This may sound romantic, but recall that eros is really about passion and curiosity. In a platonic relationship, as with a leader and a subordinate or peer, the optimal course is to first ensure a shared passion and purpose, which is born of eros. Then, over time, transform this passion into a lower level of mutual understanding and respect that incorporates a shared philosophy and a deeper understanding of each other and common beliefs.

While two individuals may never be completely in sync in terms of shared beliefs, as they may have differing opinions about religion, politics, or world events, they can often mutually align with an organization's mission and overarching beliefs. If they are not aligned, then a philia form of love may not be possible.

Moreover, this type of love requires the courage to speak freely. In military environments, for example, an enlisted sergeant may say, “Permission to speak freely, sir.” When permission is granted, the officer allows the sergeant an opportunity to offer a form of philia love. The sergeant needs to be brave enough to offer it, and the officer needs to be courageous enough to hear it.

Perhaps the sergeant is questioning an order. The officer may have commanded that his soldiers change the way they were planning to charge a certain hill. The sergeant, who may actually have more battlefield experience than the officer, has been granted the opportunity to “speak freely” and inform his leader about the risks of charging the hill using the new approach. If the officer wants to be a good leader, he needs to set aside his ego and listen closely to his sergeant's opinion. He needs to have enough courage to allow the sergeant to “call him on his crap” and express his concerns. Not doing so could cost lives.

Once fully informed, the officer must have the guts to consider his sergeant's opinion and also consider making appropriate changes if the information received is sound. Alternatively, a good leader must also have enough courage to reject his sergeant's input if he or she is absolutely convinced that it will impede the ability to achieve the objective or may have catastrophic consequences. Sometimes rejection is harder than acceptance because it requires potentially hurting someone's feelings. Gently but firmly explaining to your sergeant why his objections to the changes are not rational may take more gumption than simply doing it his way, even if you're certain that his plan will end in failure.

Socrates felt it was important for all of us to think for ourselves rather than sleepwalk through our lives or act like cattle that blindly follow the cow in front of us to the slaughterhouse. He believed in strong moral character and would have died before he willingly compromised his principles. As a leader, do you encourage independent thinking and praise people who may disagree with you, but do so because they're following their conscience? Do you allow team members “permission to speak freely” and give them critical feedback? Do you encourage “whistle‐blowers” or do you try to cover up mistakes?

Philia love requires that a leader, for a time, become and act as an equal with the members of his or her team. We need to share as equals and learn from each other while understanding and appreciating our value to each other. This form of love, and the related neuron principle, also reminds us that we need to be brave enough to ask for help when we need it.

As leaders, we may often believe we need to show our teams and our superiors that we're strong and smart enough to do everything on our own without help. We may think that asking for help is a sign of weakness or inability. Just the opposite is true. We often have a great deal of help at our disposal, and a smart leader is courageous enough to trust others to contribute their unique value and skills to the success of the mission.

If the last few paragraphs are touching a nerve, rather than run from the pain of exploring this topic, I encourage you to do the opposite. Become a courageous lion and face your discomfort head on. For example, the next time to you lead a team meeting, especially where the topic relates to change, you may want to consider doing the following:

1. Listen, don't talk. Impart the goal, vision, or “commander's intent.” Do so with as few words as possible and offer no opinions about how to achieve the goals. Then, remain silent except to ask an occasional question to guide the discussion or clarify the information offered. Plutarch, an ancient Greek biographer, offered this advice: “Know how to listen and you will profit even from those who talk badly.”
2. Inspire simplicity and humility. Allow your team to disagree with you and each other. Healthy arguments are healthy. However, keep your team on focus and on point. Do so by asking questions such as, “By going off on this tangent, are we staying focused on our objectives?” This will remind everyone to stay the course, but it will also allow someone to explain why the tangent may be related to a particular goal.
3. Encourage equal participation. Remember that team meetings offer excellent opportunities to foster deeper philia team relationships built on love, trust, and open communication. Encourage all teammates to speak their mind and contribute. When someone who is more introverted remains silent, ask them what they think. When someone who is more extroverted is dominating the discussion, you might say, “John, thank you for your passionate opinion. I'd also like to hear more from Linda.”
4. Foster trust. Philia love is instinctual. Our instinctual brain is fear‐based and pushes us to make decisions based on avoidance of pain, harm, or loss. As a consultant, I've participated in dozens of team meetings where leaders have steered their team toward change management decisions based on their personal instinctual beliefs. These individuals were convinced that the sky was falling and that erecting a massive dome was the right course of action. Good leaders diminish fear‐based, decision making by asking their teams to quantify the consequences (how to do this is covered in the Neuron Decision Making chapter). This engages the logical brain and quite often shows why the sky is not falling. The numbers indicate that, worst case, a small cloud might rain, so spending months and millions building a giant dome is a bad idea.

The other side of the philia coin also requires large doses of courage. We must be prepared to “call others on their crap.” That is, not offer too much help and admonish them when it becomes obvious that their course of action may be leading them off the proverbial cliff. While it's important to trust enough to delegate to others and then get out of their way, some individuals may be reluctant to relinquish any control. Others with strong control tendencies may like to delegate a bit too much. They may tend to feel empowered by dumping many of their responsibilities on others. To avoid either scenario, leaders should consider three actions:

1. Remind your team that they are a team and are equals in that respect. While one member might get most of the accolades for “scoring the touchdowns,” he or she can't run a single yard if others on the team don't block properly.
2. No one should do for others what they can do for themselves. We might think that we're doing someone a favor by constantly completing their tasks or covering for their mistakes. This does them and us a great disservice. Eventually, we become disgruntled, and they fail to grow because their path is too easy. Some leaders may tend to “do it themselves” to attain perfection rather than delegate anything, while others delegate everything. The true purpose of a leader is to set expectations (“commander's intent”), empower and encourage, step aside, remove roadblocks, review, and assist as needed.
3. Ensure clear boundaries, roles, and responsibilities. Make sure that everyone on the team is aware of their boundaries and understands the requirements of tending to their own areas. While it's encouraged to ask for help when needed, it's discouraged to constantly expect others to clean your bathroom.

THE COURAGEOUS GENERAL

Judith A. Fedder's father was a career Army warrant officer, so when Judy was a young girl, she and her family moved frequently. When they finally did settle down, and Judy was growing up in a small Michigan town, she never imagined that she'd follow in her father's footsteps and join the military. She aspired to be a medical professional. That changed in the middle of her sophomore year while attending Michigan State University.

“I wanted to belong to something greater, to do more with my life,” said Judy, “so I joined the Reserve Officers' Training Corps (ROTC). But instead of going Army, I chose the Air Force.”

Judy was too short to be a pilot but wanted to be close to the action, so she decided on a career path in aircraft maintenance. In her first few years as a junior officer, Judy had to adjust to being a woman in a world dominated by men. It was challenging to find the courage to speak her mind and stand up for herself. She finally decided to get out of her comfort zone and find her leadership voice. She got that opportunity in the early eighties.

“One Memorial Day weekend during the Cold War,” said Judy, “tensions increased in the Middle East so we were ordered on Friday to prepare all of our aircraft for immediate operations by Monday morning. This was a huge task that included loading live missiles, adding extra fuel tanks, completing repairs, and running through hundreds of checklists. I was a green lieutenant in charge of 300 airmen, so I was nervous but decided it was now or never. I had to find the guts to get out of my comfort zone and step up and be the leader of my team.”

By being brave enough to take a risk, Judy discovered an inner strength that served her well throughout her career in the Air Force. She also learned how to impact and inspire her team to follow her organization's vision and mission directives, which she translated into a “commander's intent.” Later in her career, she faced a similar situation wherein she had to rally and motivate over 9,000 technicians, airmen, and civilian contractors to support several important missions.

“I had to find a way to appeal to their intrinsic values and to their sense of service,” said Judy. “I did that by finding a common denominator; an understanding of what linked us all together as a team. I started with that core foundation and went from there.”

Judy understood early on that leading a team takes courage, but it also requires inspiring courage and commitment from your people. She found that by effectively and clearly communicating a sense of purpose and urgency, and by painting the bigger picture that made the team feel as if they were a part of something grand, she could inspire loyalty and passion. This approach imbued her team with the courage and drive needed to accomplish the mission.

“I always make sure that credit goes downhill,” said Judy. “People will work ten times harder for praise than for money. As leaders, we need to be ‘good finders’ by paying close attention to what our people do, and immediately recognizing them for extra effort and ingenuity.”

Judy recalls that the Air Force employed various personality tests for their personnel, which helped leaders better understand individual traits, motivators, and fears.

“I always took the time to listen to individuals on my team,” Judy said. “I also tried to set aside my personal bias and be open to criticism or different points of view. In our case, as my teams literally got their hands dirty maintaining aircraft every day, lives could be lost by ignoring their input.”

Judy also discovered that leaders must inspire courage in their team by being a good example and by listening and praising others when they take risks or accomplish difficult tasks.

Judith Fedder retired from the Air Force as a lieutenant general (three star) after 35 years of service. During her career, she was awarded a Distinguished Service Medal with oak leaf cluster, Defense Superior Service Medal, Legion of Merit with oak leaf cluster, Meritorious Service Medal with four oak leaf clusters, a Joint Service Commendation Medal with oak leaf cluster, an Air Force Commendation Medal, and an Air Force Achievement Medal.

ONCE A MARINE

Major Glenn Ferguson, USMC (Ret), served in the U.S. military for over 24 years, extending through three wars: World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.

Glenn's father had served as a gunnery sergeant in the Marine Corps during World War I. Following in his father's footsteps, Glenn enlisted in the Marine Corps on November 13, 1939. Leaving his family and friends behind in Harvey, Illinois, he reported to the Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) in San Diego, California.

“The year following boot camp,” said Glenn, “I saw a plane flying over North Island and decided that I was going to become an aviator.”

Determined to live his dream, on the following Monday, Glenn applied for Naval Officer Training with the goal of becoming an aviator. The Navy granted Glenn's request for admittance into the Naval Academy Prep School in July 1940. He spent a year at sea aboard the battleship USS Tennessee (BB 43) before being transferred to the Prep School in Norfolk, Virginia. His determination to become an aviator motivated Glenn to study and work hard.

Glenn's efforts and fortitude earned him the opportunity to undergo flight training, and he received his “wings” on March 3, 1944. He then got orders to the dive‐bombing training unit in Jacksonville, Florida. During the last year of the war, Glenn flew in the Pacific theater and trained for the inevitable invasion of Japan. The atom bomb negated the need for the invasion and eventually created a surplus of pilots.

Glenn was one of the lucky aviators who survived the force reduction for pilots after World War II. In 1952, he was transferred to the Heavier than Air Marine Observation VMO 6 Squadron in South Korea. Converting from fixed wing to helicopters, Glenn become an evac pilot in South Korea, and evacuating the wounded became his primary mission.

One day Glenn saw his squadron doctor stowing a box of small brandy bottles in the infirmary. Glenn remembered that pilots in World War I were issued bottles of brandy upon their return after a combat mission. It was not an uncommon practice for flight surgeons to offer medicinal brandy to settle the pilots' nerves, and this convention had carried over into the Korean War.

“Why don't you give the extra bottles to me, and I'll take them up to our friends on the line,” Glenn asked the doctor. The squadron doctor nodded and mentioned that there was plenty of extra brandy in the Officer's Club, and it might be possible to obtain a few cases. Glenn found the booze, and his logistical prowess became a big hit with the Forward Air Controllers (FACs). He soon earned the moniker of “Booze Runner,” and superiors overlooked the operation as they knew it lifted the spirits of the men on the forward line. However, they did not overlook the flight risks.

“The ops officer was furious with me for flying in the black moonless night because of the danger of not being able to rely on instrumentation,” said Glenn.

Despite the risks, Glenn continued the operation for the remainder of his tour. He felt strongly that the single most essential weapon a leader can offer his teammates is esprit de corps. Higher moral and camaraderie often translate into lower casualties.

After his time in Korea, Major Glenn Ferguson also flew dangerous missions during the Vietnam War, and then he eventually retired. He still proudly serves the Marine Corps to this day. His concern for the degradation of our schools in training students in the elements of honor, courage, and commitment inspired him to initiate a youth leadership program run by the Flying Leatherneck Historical Foundation (FLHF) located on the Marine Corps Air Station (MCAS) in San Diego, California. The program is a collaboration between Dr. DeRoche, who heads the leadership program at the University of San Diego (USD), and the FLHF. Middle school children are rewarded by competing in an essay contest on the topic of leadership that emphasizes honor, courage, and commitment.

“By the time most students reach college,” said Major Ferguson, “it may be too late to instill in them the attributes that are essential for leadership. Our program helps to teach young kids these important principles and encourages them to excel by offering a writing competition on the topic. The last young man to win was very impacted by the experience. His father mentioned that he could see a profound change in his son's attitude toward education. His father was amazed at how he was suddenly interested in learning, reading, and applying himself. He was eventually placed into the Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) cluster. I'm really honored to have the opportunity to help these kids learn valuable life lessons about leadership and courage.”

FINAL THOUGHTS

The Fifth Neuron Secret is about the courage to be honest and open with ourselves and others, and to hold each other accountable. The ancient Greeks called this philia, which represents a brotherly or sisterly type of love. This is when we get to call each other on our crap but in a “tough love” respectful way. The best way to ingrain this into our daily lives is by seeking help from others. We can and should form networks of trusted friends, colleagues, advisors, and mentors to help us along our journey.

I have done this by joining a small group of like minds and spirits that meets every other week to share our most inner secrets, dreams, desires, frustrations, problems, joys, and more. Over many years, we have grown to love and trust each other implicitly, and we are now very open to being “called on our crap.” In fact, we welcome it. We don't want to be coddled. Instead, we ask to be told the truth, no matter how painful. We recognize that facing that truth is difficult but also necessary if we are to make progress toward our goal to become better leaders.

Some people attend church groups, professional organizations, networking groups, 12‐step programs, self‐help book clubs, and more. I mentioned earlier that Dr. James Kavanaugh wrote a book called Search that inspired a movement and workshops by the same name. When Kavanaugh died, this movement waned, but there may still be some active groups. You can research this on your own at www.jameskavanaugh.org.

Whatever type of support group you choose, it's important to remember that when someone does call us on our crap, our “fight or flight” instinctual brain will kick into gear. Our initial instinct will be to either fight the guy or run away and cry. Neither of these are appropriate responses. We need to engage our emotional and logical brains, uncurl our fists, turn our open palms upward, and thank the person who told us that we sometimes act like a jerk. We need to remember that they are simply pointing out facts that will help us see ourselves and our actions more clearly.

Likewise, when we admonish someone, we need to do so with empathy and compassion. Our motives should be pure and prompted from a heart filled with love. Our only objective should be to help the other person learn and grow.

Since this principle is instinctual, writing someone an email or letter is not the best approach to demonstrate philia love. It is best to meet with them in person. I try not to meet with someone in my office and, if I do, I come around from my desk and sit next to them, not across from them. I need to act like a friend, not a boss.

I realize that this sounds counter to most of the leadership guidance the big guys spout, but other writers or consultants may not understand that to appeal to someone's instinctual brain, they must trust you. They must feel that you are on their side, not on the other side of the river. This part of our brain does not react well to a logical email or PowerPoint slides. We could point to facts and figures and show them charts to prove that we are right and they are wrong, say that they should be a better employee and do it our way, but this approach is usually doomed to failure.

We are better off using visual and audio aids whenever possible. A whiteboard can be the visual, and our soft and calm voice the audio. We need to be collaborative rather than confrontational.

A courageous lion leader can win a battle with an army of sheep, but rarely will he or she win an entire war. The best leaders cultivate a team of lions by never asking someone to do what they would not do themselves. They lead by example and encourage others to do the same by exhibiting courage, integrity, and accountability.

TEN PHILIA LEADERSHIP REVIEW POINTS

1. The Fifth Neuron Secret is: The Principle of Courage: It takes courage to have integrity and to be accountable.
2. This principle relates to the Greek form of love called philia, which is an abiding friendship exhibited between brothers and sisters, colleagues, and close friends.
3. This type of love requires the courage to speak and act freely when appropriate between peers, subordinates, and superiors without fear of ridicule or reprimands.
4. This principle is instinctual and appeals to the R‐Complex instinctual brain. It requires a level of integrity and trust between all members of a team.
5. To embrace this form of love, leaders must listen rather than do all the talking, inspire simplicity and humility, encourage equal participation, and foster an environment of integrity and accountability.
6. Leaders should also remind team members that all are equals, no one should do for others what they can do for themselves, and everyone should maintain clear and respectful boundaries and roles.
7. The courageous Lion in The Wonderful Wizard of Oz provides a good metaphoric representation and embodiment of this principle.
8. For leaders, it takes more courage to be an example of compassion, understanding, and patience than to be an uncaring, whip‐cracking, task‐oriented bully.
9. When we lack courage, it's because our instinctual brain is in control and is blanketing our life with fear. Usually these fears are unfounded and can be vanquished by engaging our logical brain to quantify the consequences.
10. This principle can be summed by these two words: be courageous.

THREE STEPS TO PHILIA LEADERSHIP

1. Policy: Leaders should work with upper management to create detailed, clear, and flexible job descriptions and expectations for each team role.
2. Procedure: Leaders should meet weekly with team members to review roles, expectations, problems, concerns, roadblocks, and the resources needed to function in their role. Also, to politely admonish when appropriate.
3. Practice: Leaders should be trained, by internal or outsourced coaching experts, to act as coaches and mentors for others on their team. Also, leaders should be coached on how to be courageous enough to offer and accept critical input and differing opinions.

ONE PHILIA LEADERSHIP EXERCISE

For this exercise, let's answer the following questions:

• How do I typically act when I'm faced with a fearful situation?
• What situations or circumstances usually cause the most fear?
• How do I allow my fears to influence my decisions?
• Do I dominate discussions and meetings, or do I listen attentively to my team?
• Do I encourage equal participation among all members of my team?
• Do I have the courage to empower and let go, or do I constantly micromanage?
• Am I too timid to speak up in meetings or discussions so my opinion can be heard?
• Do I try to force my will and opinion on others, or am I open to other points of view?
• Am I a “control freak” who overworks my team to get results in order to make myself look good?
• Am I too easygoing and afraid to set proper boundaries or stand up for my team?
• Do I exhibit unwavering integrity in all my affairs?
• Do I have the courage to hold myself and others accountable?
• What new habits will I form, starting today, to ingrain philia love into my life?

There is no failure for one unafraid to be himself,

No defeat for one who does what he can without

 sacrificing the private rhythm of his being,

A rhythm created over centuries and shared

 with life itself.

Failure is only a chance to begin again,

Defeat but a gentle warning to walk another road,

Loneliness an invitation to find a new friend.

A life built on sand and avarice is the victim

 of every earthquake or avalanche,

Every rise and fall of Dow Jones or a robot's dictation.

Wrap yourself in your own feeble being,

Warm yourself with your own fragile heart,

Defend yourself in peace and silence, and do battle

 with smiles and shrugs

And an awareness of eternal change.

Patience and humility are your impermeable armor,

Love and prayer your impregnable protection.

Your worst adversary is crippled with everyman's fears,

The most severe critic but a raconteur of his own story.

How can there be failure when the ocean still rolls

 toward the land?

And the night still embraces strong and weak alike

 with love?

The morning will come with its soft light

 to offer you a childhood again,

And the wind will sing the gentle rhythm that makes

 of each day a new adventure.

—Dr. James Kavanaugh, from Quiet Waters