The author of this story is unknown. He or she tells of a group of alumni from a leading university that held a reunion at the house of their former professor. By now they were all well into their lofty careers, so the conversation soon lapsed into complaints about work, stress, and bad leaders.

The professor listened patiently and then finally shook his head and went to the kitchen to make coffee. He returned several minutes later with a pot and a large tray filled with an assortment of cups. The mix on the tray included paper, plastic, porcelain, metal, glass, crystal, and bone china. Some cups were plain and ordinary, and others were decorative and exquisite.

The former students hovered around the tray to select a cup from the assortment. The first one picked exquisite bone china. The second person picked expensive crystal, the third one picked decorative porcelain, and so on. Those who picked last appeared disappointed at being left with only plastic or paper.

The professor poured each person some coffee from the pot. He then smiled and asked the alumnus who had picked first why he had chosen that particular cup. The former student, a young man in a pressed shirt, trimmed hair, and polished shoes, shrugged and said he liked the way it looked. The professor turned to the guest who had picked second and asked the same question. The young woman, adorned in expensive clothing, gave a similar answer as the young man. The last of the alumni simply said they were left with no choice but plastic or paper; otherwise, they would have chosen something different.

The professor gazed at his guests for a long moment and then said, “Those of you who picked cups first, all chose the more ornate, exquisite, and expensive‐looking ones. Those who chose last seemed disappointed and commented that they would have selected something ‘better’ if given a choice.”

The former students glanced at each other and then back at their professor. Their eyes were filled with confusion and curiosity. One of them asked, “What's wrong with our choice of cups?”

The professor smiled and said, “We all want the best for ourselves, but focusing on external glitter is often the source of our problems and stress.”

“I don't understand,” a young woman said.

The professor asked the students to set their cups on the counter. They complied. He picked up a paper cup from the tray and filled it with coffee. He then handed it to the young man who had chosen first. “Drink this.”

The young man took the cup and drank.

“How does that coffee taste?”

“Fine,” the alumnus said.

“Is there any difference between that coffee and the brew in your ornate cup?”

“No,” the man said, “why should there be?”

“Precisely,” said the professor. “There is no difference at all.”

The room fell silent as the alumni stared at the cups they had chosen.

The professor continued. “The container adds no quality to the taste of the coffee. An expensive cup simply costs more and may even detract from the richness of the brew. What you all really wanted was coffee, not cups. Yet those of you who were left with plastic or paper were jealous of the others. Why is that?”

No one responded. Most lowered their gaze and studied their shoes.

The professor picked up the pot. “Life is like this coffee. Your jobs, money, cars, houses, and toys are like the cups. They are symbols of your success. They do not define, determine, or dictate your quality of life. When we focus outwardly on the cups, we often fail to look inwardly at the joy of our coffee.”

The professor went back into the kitchen and returned with a stack of paper cups. He handed one to each of his former students and then filled them with coffee from the pot.

“As your professor, the most important lesson I can teach you is to view your life like this coffee. The happiest and wealthiest people don't focus on the fanciest cups. They are grateful for the cups they have, and even more grateful for the richness of the coffee they have been served.”

The professor raised his paper cup and offered a toast. “Live simply, love generously, care deeply, and speak gently. And remember, your life is like this coffee.”

FINAL EXERCISE

If we are grateful for what we have and where we are today, but are also willing to make progress each day toward a better understanding of ourselves and those we interact with, our personal and professional lives will be miraculously changed. We will experience life through a new lens, and we will transform our personal and working relationships. Finally, we will experience an abundance of true joy, happiness, success (Figure 18.1), and fulfillment every day, including our work days.

If there is only one thing you remember as you close the cover on this book, I hope it is this: Leadership is Love.

Again, for those who are uncomfortable with this, I encourage you to explore the business value of becoming a Conscious Capitalist. For those who are ready and willing to embrace this concept, I hope you will consider making three important changes in your life:

1. Find your passion and lay down your time for a worthy purpose
2. Recite the following every morning and again every night before retiring:

   Be Humble, Be Playful, Be Generous, Be Passionate, Be Courageous, Be Authoritative, Be Dependable, Be Wise

3. Be a mentor and lay down your time for others in need

FINAL REQUEST

It is my sincere hope that you have enjoyed this book and found within these pages some knowledge, insights, and wisdom that will help guide you on your leadership journey. If for whatever reason the concepts, principles, stories, or writing were not to your liking, I ask that you be kind with your public remarks. Remember, dozens of military veterans graciously offered us their wisdom and experience, and any negative comments, even if you believe they are deserved, may also reflect badly on these veterans.

My gracious and wise late mother once told me, “Son, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.”

Today: Be Humble, Be Playful, Be Generous, Be Passionate, Be Courageous, Be Authoritative, Be Dependable, Be Wise.