Part one The issue is not (A) the issue is (B) and that means . . . or and this means that . . .

After saying either ‘This means that’ or ‘That means This’, the fun begins because it can mean anything of your choosing, as long as the overall objective of realigning the conversation towards your outcome is accomplished.

Part two Asking a question

In the second, and optional, part of this pattern, we advocate asking a question. For many students of persuasion, part one is sufficient and, in most teachings on this subject, there is no part two. However, we favour the idea of asking a question principally because it allows us to plant suggestions and unequivocally focus the mind of our antagonist(s) firmly on our goal.

Should you choose to follow the redefine with a question, keep in mind, the most compelling questions always begin with the words, ‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘where’. Asking questions starting with these words ensures the listener has to think seriously about the new subject you are introducing into the conversation, and, at the same time, prevents them from answering with a single word.

If you decide to ask a question after the redefine, always separate the redefine from the question with the word ‘and’ like this:

The issue isn’t (A) the issue is (B), and I’m wondering, what’s your view on (subject related to ‘B’)

To maximise your results, follow this question format:

You would not say:

• The issue is not X, the issue is Y. But, tell me, I’m wondering what. . . and so on.

Again, the word ‘But’ subliminally negates, in the listener’s mind, everything preceding it. In this example, crucially, the subject to which you have redirected the conversation is annulled in favour of the question and weakens the power of the pattern.

The words ‘and’ and ‘but’ dynamically influence, and can even entirely reverse, the expected meaning of sentences and questions.

• When using the redefine, always say ‘and this means that’ or ‘and that means this’.
• On no account say, ‘ but this means’ or ‘but that means’ because this subliminally negates in the mind of the listener everything that precedes it.
• Should you choose to ask a question after the redefine, always separate the end of the redefine and the beginning of your question with the word ‘and’.

Pattern overview options

• The issue is not (A), the issue is (B) and that means (C).
• The issue is not (A), the issue is (B) and that means (C) (any word other than but): I am/we are wondering/curious/interested + what, how or where.
• The issue is not (A), the issue is (B) and I am/we are wondering/curious/interested + what, how or where.

Example 1

I remember, in the late 1970s, as a junior advertising sales executive, meeting a new prospect. After the preliminaries, he said, ‘I am meeting you as a courtesy. We don’t advertise, as all our business comes via word of mouth, times are good.’

I immediately had an answer for this objection or buying signal, even though I was unaware my response was a language pattern, a pattern I have used time and time again with great success. You, like me, may be the same, and not know when you instinctively use language patterns.

Much later in life, I recognised language patterns in my speech and proactively used them throughout my career in sales and, of course, instantly realised when others used them on me. This is a significant bonus you will enjoy.

I looked at the prospect and said, ‘I agree. Business looks good. The issue is not that all your business comes via word of mouth, the issue is that, if you have never advertised, you have never experienced how much more business you will achieve with a regular campaign. And that means I am curious. Tell me what’s important to you about increasing your month-on-month sales and raising your revenues?

Example 2

Last year, I presented a Proactive Persuasion Seminar and workshop to a group of recruiters. As part of the presentation, I invite delegates to present their most challenging objections. Attending the event was one of the company’s directors. He was struggling to convince a prospect to retain his business on a contingency basis.

The objection was, indeed, quite challenging and insurmountable for him at that time. As an executive search professional (headhunter), he had poached almost all of the best managers from his desired future client. The managing director knew he had done this and expressed an objection to him personally and professionally for removing his best people. As an executive search consultant in a previous life, it is a situation my team and I encountered occasionally, I introduced them to the redefine, as it is a perfect solution.

The response we proposed was along these lines:

I agree; you know I have systematically removed your key managers over a period of six months. However, the issue is not that I took your key people, the most important issue is that, when we work together now, you know how tenacious I am. That I’ll stop at nothing to get the best people for my clients and how I never accept no for an answer. I’ll work like that for you. What advantages can you imagine you’ll benefit from to have an acknowledged industry specialist like me on your side?

After presenting this solution, it was reworded to suit the communication style of the delegate, who left the room. Later in the day, I was informed he had won the assignment with this once unyielding prospect.

I wonder if you have already realised, as you become more proactively persuasive, how important it is to be confident with your vocabulary. Curiously, then, the issue is not whether you are comfortable with the new persuasive terminology you are learning, the issue is to maintain your personal communication style and to benefit from the power of this technique while mirroring the structure of the pattern.

There follows an assortment of alternative ways of expressing the Redefine. Use them if you are comfortable with the language or, better still, make up your own while rigorously adhering to the format of the pattern:

• I see. Only (A) is not the most important point. The most important aspect is (B) and that means we should (C). What do you imagine is . . . ?
• The weakness in your argument is not so much to do with (A). The area requiring more brainstorming is (B) and this means that (C). What areas can you . . . ?
• The point is not (A), but it is (B) and this means (C). How do you propose we . . . ?
• The question is not about (A), it is about (B) and that means when is the best time for you to . . . ?

• It is imperative, whether you are negotiating or aiming to convince someone, to know your desired outcome from the outset. If you do not have a definitive result in mind, it will be impossible to measure your effectiveness. The outcome need not be your ultimate goal.
• Practise saying this pattern out loud as often as possible. Look at yourself in a mirror as you speak, observe how your facial expression changes as you say the words. Make up theoretical objections and respond to them out loud. If you prefer to replace the word ‘issue’, use your words and always follow the structure of the pattern.
• One of the best ways to embed language patterns into your everyday conversation is to find a like-minded colleague and practise together daily and have fun.

Now you are aware of this pattern, use it to respond to objections and redirect any conversation closer towards your objective.