If there was a language pattern that effortlessly encouraged your prospects or clients to think or say ‘yes’ and instil positive feelings about the services and the products you are promoting, it is very likely you would use it, wouldn’t you?
If, just this second, you thought ‘yes’, apart from the fact that the above idea is, of course, desirable, the phrase ‘wouldn’t you?’ at the close of the question led you more easily to accede to the overall message.
Tag questions like ‘wouldn’t you?’ are small questions designed to coax the listener to agree unconsciously, verbally or non-verbally, to your statements while inviting them to verify their understanding of what you have said. They are a function of everyday conversation; everyone uses them mostly without conscious awareness, but, when used proactively, they are deceptively persuasive.
Listeners and readers find this type of question almost impossible to oppose. If your prospect nods their head as you deliver the tag question, you have succeeded in creating an internal ‘yes set’ in their mind. The extraordinary thing is, occasionally, even if you have stated something you had not expected your prospect to accept, you will, nevertheless, see them nodding their head instinctively in agreement, such is the power of this pattern.
Example tag questions
These small questions placed at the end of statements are deceptively powerful in gaining agreement from your prospect and do not always have to be answered.
| Don’t you? Aren’t you? Couldn’t you? Haven’t you? Didn’t I? |
Will you? Can’t you? Shouldn’t you? Isn’t it? Would you? |
Won’t you? Wouldn’t you? Has he/she? May I? Must I? |
If you want to learn about the correct way to formulate tag questions, there are some guidelines at the end of this chapter. However, it is important to not become over-involved with the technicalities of English grammar, as most of us follow these rules unconsciously.
Observe when others automatically, without thought, add tag questions in their speech, particularly when they are talking to you, and notice how they make you feel. Listen carefully to the response you receive from others as they respond to your tag questions. Imagine how much more persuasive you will be when you start to use this simple technique purposefully.
Enhancing the effectiveness of tag questions
We can quantum leap the impact asking tag questions has on others by adding and combining three additional, somewhat covert, components:
- embedded commands;
- intonation;
- body language.
Embedded commands
Let us clarify what we mean by an embedded command and why we use them.
An embedded command is a suggestion not discernible by the conscious. If you give a direct command to someone to do or think about something in a particular way, they may reject your proposal or, in some instances, follow the opposite path. When, however, a command suggestion is given while you appear to be talking about something else, it slips unnoticed past conscious awareness directly into the least resistant subconscious part of the listener’s brain and, eventually, surfaces as their idea.
You may think this sounds complicated but, by now, because you have read quite a lot about both tag questions and embedded commands, we expect you can see how effective this combination of techniques can be, can’t you?
This combination of delivering a subliminal command suggestion while asking a tag question is a highly useful grouping of patterns and is amazingly efficient and imperceptible from your prospect’s viewpoint.
Before we offer further examples, let us review the earlier paragraph:
| Persuader | You may think this sounds complicated but, by now, because you have read quite a lot about both tag questions and embedded commands, we expect you can see how effective this combination of techniques can be, can’t you? |
Notice the linguistic ambiguity and embedded command to ‘by now’ or ‘buy now’. Most people will not hear the command in this context, as we are implying the passage of time. Effectively, we have commanded our prospect to ‘buy now’ and they have said ‘yes’ to the entire statement, which refers to something entirely different.
Example embedded commands
The best commands are always short, usually a maximum of four words; the following list provides an idea of some generic suggestions you can use.
| Buy now | Like this | Like me |
| Sign up | Start now | Want this |
| Work with me/Co. name | See the potential | Try this |
| Call me | ||
Imagine you are talking to a prospect and have gleaned some basic information. You might say:
That’s right. So, I understand you might be interested
in XYZ aspect of our product/service, mightn’t you?
The command integrated into this statement is ‘be interested’. You spotted it, didn’t you?
Identify the embedded commands in the following tag questions:
- It’s a good idea to try this, don’t you think?
- This price structure works for you, doesn’t it?
- I believe you like the idea of being able to do this now, don’t you?
- The team’s performance will improve when you integrate our system, won’t it?
- Ultimately, you know you will achieve more with this, don’t you?
Each of the examples above contains a suggestion favourable to the product and each question commands a ‘yes’ answer.
Intonation
The second element ensuring tag questions and embedded commands are compelling is your tone of voice. The secret is to assume a lower tone of voice and to deliver the question at a slightly slower speed. Should you take on an upward inflection, you will appear to be seeking validation of the points you have raised, not asserting them as fact.
An upward voice inflection will, unintentionally, always imply uncertainty. Should you recognise this speech style as your own, to be effective as a persuader, practise reversing it and adopting a downward commanding inflection.
Body language
The third factor that will quantum leap the overall effectiveness of this pattern, and embeds the information you are giving even further, involves your body language. As you deliver the tag question, lock eyes with your subject and subtly nod your head three times.
This nodding of the head, the hypnotic nod, as it is called, is contagious, a little like yawning, and is one of the subtlest and most powerful influencing tools you can add to your growing treasure chest of techniques.
Practise this little pattern and you will be amazed at how easily you will be able to gain your prospect’s agreement and plant suggestions.
Follow these rules for the correct formulation of tag questions
These are the ground rules for forming the two-word tag questions. Please do not dwell on these; you are already an expert.
- Your chosen subject in the statement must be the same as in the tag question.
- The verbs in both statement and tag question must match.
- The tag question is usually negative if your comment is positive and vice versa.
- If you place present and past simple tenses in positive statements, typically the auxiliary verb is omitted. However, the auxiliaries ‘does’, ‘do’ or ‘did’ are used. If you use a negative statement in the past simple or present tense, the auxiliaries do not: didn’t or doesn’t will be present automatically.
- When using the ‘there is’ structure, ‘is’ is reflected in the tag.
- If ‘no one’, ‘somebody’ or ‘something’ is the main subject in a statement, it is used in the tag.
- Refer to nothing or something; ‘they’ is used in the tag when referring to somebody or someone.
- Tag questions are small questions placed at the end of sentences used to elicit agreement.
- Practise building tag questions into your sales presentation and say them out loud. Test them with friend and family without indicating what you are doing and gauge their response.
- Embedding suggestions into your tag questions is a particularly powerful persuasion technique.
- Look into your prospect’s eyes and nod your head three times as you deliver the tag question.
- Use tag questions often until they become second nature.