21.
Birthdays, Happy Hours, and Holiday Parties
If you’ve worked in a stationary workplace you’ve probably found yourself in one of these situations: Packed into a break or conference room with all your co-workers, attempting idle chit-chat before singing happy birthday and eating cake; opening presents may or may not be involved. Or maybe it’s the office party—often dreaded or highly anticipated, depending on who you are or whom you’re celebrating. Or the (mandatory) office happy hour, which always seems to happen on your busiest day, but you can’t skip because it’ll look bad to your co-workers.
More times than you might think, we’ve been told by virtual workfolk that these experiences are either one of the things they miss the most or are the most thankful they don’t have to experience any longer. Those who miss it, miss it because it’s a form of workplace community and collegial engagement that’s hard to replicate at Starbucks or with your household cats. Trust us, Ben has tried and failed and has the scars and scratches to prove it. They enjoy shaking things up by sharing a little casual conversation and a slice of cake with people they see every day but don’t always get to interact with. On the other hand, some people are thankful they don’t have to leave their desk or laptop for 20, 30, or 60 minutes to drink terrible punch, eat subpar sheet cake, and make idle chat-chat with co-workers they see every day, but don’t actually want to interact with.
Let’s Level Set, Shall We?
Essentially, some people see the glass half full, others half empty—with the glass in this analogy being a birthday, baby shower, work party, or happy hour, of course. Then there are others who don’t see a glass at all, because if they’ve exclusively worked in the virtual world, they may never have gotten the chance. In this chapter, we offer a few thoughts on how to effectively adapt these moments of celebration in the virtual workplace, once and for all.
Birthdays and Baby Showers
Buying a cake for a stationary work event is easy. Someone does a headcount, calls a local bakery or grocery store, orders enough cake to feed said headcount, picks the cake up or has it delivered, cuts the cake, and serves the cake. All in all it’s a four- to five-step process that just about anyone with access to the expense account, petty cash, or reimbursement form can handle. It may be a bit more complicated in a virtual work setting, but an absolutely doable process.
A budget for cake is a budget for cake, but that doesn’t mean you can only order one cake that you literally have to cut up and serve to people in the breakroom. There are dozens of ways to bring “cake” or something festive to the doorstep of your virtual co-workers:
• Allocate funding for cake. Or not cake. It could be pie, soda, a cookie, pizza, vegan mac and cheese—whatever your preference. Set a small budget every month for your employees to buy their own celebratory edible to bring to the virtual party. Then you can indulge together while you sing happy birthday over a conference call or on camera. In lieu of setting a budget, you could send a virtual gift card or coupon.
• Make it a free-for-all. Invite everyone to bring their favorite cookie or snack to the event—a virtual potluck, if you will. Don’t worry about providing funding or a budget, just make the experience relatable and fun by creating a theme everyone can support. Even better, let the individual having the birthday or baby shower choose the theme to personalize it for the occasion.
The virtual world has made it easier than ever to allow everyone to put in a few dollars collectively for a gift or gift card, which can then be sent virtually to the expectant parent or birthday boy or girl. Even the stationary worker has experienced this new convenience, so it’s not a difficult one to organize in a virtual workplace.
The point is, the loss of a physical breakroom is no reason to stop celebrating people’s life events. Get everyone on a conference call or video chat and spend 10, 20, or 30 minutes playing a game—like saying something nice about the birthday person or tossing out your favorite baby names—and sharing what you brought to the party (cake, cookies, hummus). There are endless ways to keep these parties cheap and simple, but also personal and fun.
Happy Hours
Of course, part of the fun of a happy hour is getting out of the office, running to the nearest bar, and blowing off some steam before heading home to keep talking about your co-workers with your family, spouse, or roommates. But happy hour is not a stationary-exclusive event. Here’s how to plan a virtual one:
• Set a time, date, and theme. Are you all just trying to get to know one another? Looking to celebrate a recent win or soothe a recent struggle? Pick your theme, time, and date and treat this just like any other happy hour. Invite everyone to turn on their cameras and make it an after-work event so everyone can attend. Is your team a global one? If so, you might need host your happy hour later or earlier than usual (be sure to check out chapter 1 for more on navigating time zones). But that’s OK because it’s always five o’clock somewhere, right?
• Make some mocktail and cocktail suggestions. Once you’ve chosen your happy hour theme, come up with some drink suggestions that everyone can make, buy, or discuss. You can even share recipes. However, don’t make them alcohol dependent, since some people might not drink or they just want another cup of coffee or glass of chilled water.
• Plan how you’ll meet. Will you use your work phone or work video service? That’s a possibility. But consider using a non-work-related service or provider instead. For one, it will not only feel more authentic to a happy hour experience—enjoying the company of co-workers away from work and work things—but it will also be a little more exciting to truly get away from work tools and tech.
• Keep it short. People naturally break off into groups during happy hours, coming and going as they please. A virtual happy hour deserves a different approach. Keep it to about 20 to 40 minutes. Any longer and it will begin to feel awkward and unnecessary. Invite everyone to be there at the start but let them know that they can leave whenever they’d like. Giving people the ability to just pop in, say hello, drink a drink, and then go about their evening is a wonderful way to virtually recreate a true happy hour experience.
• Give it some structure. Consider having someone “host” the happy hour. The host can be in charge of setting up some drinking games. Never Have I Ever is a classic—where folks say one thing they’ve never done, and then those who have done it take a sip of their drink. Another good game is Straight Face, where folks say something crazy, funny, or in a weird voice and anyone who laughs or smiles has to take a sip of their drink. The host can also end the evening by giving a brief toast to everyone having fun, getting to know one another, or the health and wealth of your organization.
Group Lunches, Ice Cream Socials, Secret Santa, and White Elephants
Finally, there are the smattering of work and holiday parties, which people inevitably either crave or truly can’t stand. You know, the group lunches, themed parties, staff celebrations, and gift exchanges? Is there room for these in the virtual world? Of course. You just need to consider the same virtual vehicles and structure as any other virtual event—make it accessible to everyone involved, keep it simple and organized, and focus more on the culture or intent as the key feature.
If you want to host an ice cream social or group lunch event to celebrate the kickoff of summer or a new team milestone, just invite everyone to bring their favorite sandwich or pint of ice cream to your virtual meeting. Go around the room asking everyone what they’re eating and what their favorite childhood version was growing up. Then, end with a toast to the celebration. Keep it quick (15 minutes should be plenty) so everyone can get back to their jobs.
If you’re hosting a secret Santa, white elephant, or gift exchange, ask everyone to bring a gift that can be exchanged virtually, such as a gift card or online purchase. Again, keep it simple and short—schedule just enough time for everyone to share what they got and how they’ll use it. And then get back to the grind. If you want to make things more exciting, you could add the gift exchange on to happy hour, but it’s not necessary. Even just taking a 15-minute break to celebrate the gift of a co-worker’s generosity can really brighten a day or make the week feel more festive.
A Few More Thoughts
Create a virtual party team. The power of a party planning committee isn’t just for stationary workplaces. Create a virtual one with people who love running smart, simple online events monthly or for special occasions. This is a great management tool, but an even better place for delegation.
Budget for morale. Stationary or virtual, organizations with high employee engagement outperform those with low employee engagement by 202 percent (Katz 2017). So making room in your budget for employees to get coffee, cookies, or their own slice of cake can go a long way when it’s connected to the opportunity to get on the phone or on camera for a small party or celebration.
Make it democratic. Ask your employees if they want virtual opportunities for parties. Or host one or two virtual events and then take a poll on if they think they’re worth their time. Don’t just host these events because you can, do it because people appreciate them.
Signing Off
Make it fun, make it personal, make it virtually accessible. It’s easy to just skip over conventionally stationary experiences like parties and celebrations, but why? Not only can they be just as fun—or more fun—virtually, they can be easier and far more painless. And as a manager of people, this is a perfect way to encourage team building that’s easy to organize and simple to experience. The virtual workplace doesn’t have to be cold or distant; warm things up with traditional gatherings, set to the tune of a virtual landscape.