CHAPTER 2
Credibility
Creating It and Keeping It
“I’ll call you.”
“Let’s do lunch.”
“We really need to get together.”
“I’ll get back to you later today.”
“I tried to call you back, but you weren’t there, and I didn’t leave a message.”
“I’m almost finished with that project.”
Every day, in our personal and professional relationships, we make promises that we can’t or don’t intend to keep and issue statements that bear only a slight resemblance to the truth. In fact, the practice of telling half-truths is so commonplace, we are barely conscious we’re doing it or that it’s being done to us. We accept the fact that, whatever we call it (telling a white lie, exaggerating, or providing selective information), lying to each other in a variety of ways is an everyday part of life.
Obviously, an isolated fib here and there isn’t going to hurt anything. (Do you really need to tell your best friend that her hair looks like she got caught in a ceiling fan?) But if you develop a habit of saying things you don’t mean, making promises you don’t keep, and misleading by cloaking reality in rhetoric, you diminish others’ ability to trust you and you chip away at your own credibility, one of your most fragile assets.
Our credibility comes from a combination of who we are and what we do—a healthy balance of character and competence. It’s not something anyone bestows upon us; we have to earn it—and keep on earning it by what we do and say, minute by minute, day by day, month by month. Credibility takes time to establish, and in some cases, only an instant to destroy. As the saying goes, “When you break your word, you break something that can’t be mended.” When people use up their credibility, it’s nearly impossible to get it back.
Mastering the Art of Straight Talk
Although we hear a lot about “walking the talk,” and that’s certainly essential, the talk itself is still important. In fact, words—the language choices we make—have a huge impact on how we come across to others and how we develop a reputation for honesty and sincerity.
We can each take a significant step toward creating and maintaining our own credibility by what Pat MacMillan, CEO of Team Resources, Inc., a consulting firm that specializes in organizational and leadership development, calls “mastering the art of straight talk.” A management consultant to top executives in a number of Fortune 500 companies, MacMillan advocates “straightforward communication that is open and honest, timely and accurate.”
Straight talk doesn’t always come naturally, however, and some common pitfalls can sabotage our influence and undermine our integrity. Here are a few ways to avoid the pitfalls.
Resist the temptation to stretch the truth. Diana Booher, author of Communicate with Confidence warns against developing a reputation for exaggeration. Were you on hold for fifteen minutes or was it more like five or six? Did your boss really “lose it” or merely express concern about some aspects of your marketing plan? When your flair for the dramatic leads you to overstate, in the interest of lively conversation, you may cause people to weigh your words carefully or end up like the little boy who cried wolf.
When you actually deliver unembellished information, people will mentally subtract a few degrees from anything you tell them, convinced that you are inflating the facts as usual. In the workplace, your tendency to amplify a story may affect how colleagues perceive you and damage your effectiveness. An urgent situation with a key client, for example, may not get the reaction and attention it deserves from your colleagues or your manager; or your explanation for why a particular project is delayed may be seen as a creative excuse rather than a legitimate reason.
Avoid jargon and buzzwords. In a jargon-filled world, a stock market crash becomes an “unplanned equity retreat”; companies don’t fire people, but go through “workforce adjustments” and “headcount reductions”; and taxes are “revenue enhancements.” We seem surrounded by those who, as Voltaire once said, use words to hide their thoughts. Is this a harmless tactic? Not really. The practice calls intentions into question. It pretends to communicate but really doesn’t.
Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton, authors of The Knowing-Doing Gap: How Smart Companies Turn Knowledge into Action, refer to the “mystique of complexity,” which encourages business people to impress others with complex language and complex ideas. As a result, we scramble to create an aura of competence by using complex incomprehensible jargon. The practice, however, confuses people and inhibits action.
Particularly in large organizations, it’s easy to mimic all those around you who are trying either to make the ordinary sound extraordinary or to shift responsibility. Once, when I was consulting with a large company to help one of its divisions develop some marketing case studies, I kept encountering a phrase that lacked a real-world definition. The only problem was that I couldn’t find anyone in the company who could translate the concept into plain English. It turned out that a senior staff member had put the phrase into use and the troops had readily parroted it without having a clue as to what it meant.
Don’t be satisfied with accepting statements with murky meanings from others, and don’t be guilty of sending such messages yourself. In your next meeting, ask participants who are liberally using jargon to define terms in plain language. Pfeffer and Sutton’s anecdotal surveys reveal that many managers, when asked to define such business buzz words as “learning organization,” “paradigm,” and “business process reengineering” were either unable to give any definition or struggled to supply an inadequate one.
Only make promises you intend to keep. Saying no or “I can’t” can be difficult, but getting labeled as someone who can’t be believed or relied on is worse. Just as passing a bad check makes it difficult to write another one at a store, making commitments that you can’t or don’t intend to keep creates a real deficit in relationships. Be careful the next time you say “I’ll see what I can do,” “I’ll get back to you,” or “I’ll have this done by Friday.” Once people get the message that you don’t mean to do what you say, it will take a major effort to reconstruct your credibility.
Admit mistakes. “Credibility comes from a willingness to admit to faults and mistakes,” observes a marketing communications manager with a large accounting firm. “People who are ‘never wrong’ aren’t believable.”
Admitting a mistake won’t make you appear weak or increase your vulnerability, in fact, it renders you more approachable and sincere. Particularly if you are in a management or coaching situation, sharing some of your own experiences and what you learned from your mistakes with someone who is currently struggling with an issue can create a positive climate for growth. And admitting that you made a flawed decision can earn you the respect of others and make them more willing to accept constructive criticism from you and to give you credit when you deserve it.
In a world of faux, being a person of credibility and substance is a valuable asset. Most people seek relationships that can endure in a climate of change and turbulence and naturally gravitate to those who earn and deserve their trust. Establishing and maintaining a reputation for honesty and consistency takes effort and vigilance, but the rewards are significant and long-term—both for you and for those around you.
The Bottom Line
Credibility comes from a combination of who we are and what we do—a healthy balance of character and competence.
Credibility takes time to establish, and in some cases, only an instant to destroy.
A significant step toward creating and maintaining your own credibility is mastering the art of straight talk.
Keeping promises and admitting mistakes contribute to your credibility.
Action Plan
Over the next thirty days,
I will stop ___________________________________________________
I will start ___________________________________________________
I will continue ________________________________________________