18 Experiences
Your Experiences
Experiences are probably the most valuable assets you have, because they are made up of all your actual firsthand involvements. If you were there, if it happened to you, or if you saw it—it's an experience.
Experiences can only be from the past. Although they are very real to you, remember, your brain makes things up, throws things out, and distorts things. Just because you had an experience doesn't mean your interpretation of it was the same as someone else's with the exact same experience. For example, two people can order the same meal at a restaurant. After leaving the restaurant, one person says, “That was a great meal and restaurant”; the other person says, “I didn't enjoy that, the meal was just so-so, and it was noisy in there.”
Remember our discussion of emptying your bucket? Here's why it's so important to understand and be aware of what's in your bucket: the stuffin your bucket comes from your experiences, and experiences play a major role in how you come to conclusions. If you're not aware of your bucket's contents, then you're not aware of the experiences that lead you to a given conclusion. As a result, your breadth of conclusions is narrow. If you're aware and you can get rid of what's in your bucket—or at least ignore it for a little while—your breadth of conclusions is greatly enhanced. You'll be able to come up with new ideas you may have normally discarded. For example, suppose you had a prior interaction with someone who was not cooperative, and was perhaps even a little nasty. Your bucket has that experience in it, even though you don't know the circumstances behind that person's attitude. You now have a need for some information from that same person. If your bucket isn't empty, you might approach that person with a very standoffish, matter-of-fact attitude and just say, “Can you please give me this information?” Instead, if you emptied your bucket, as if you had never had that prior interaction, you might approach this person and say, “Hi. I wonder if you might assist me? I have this project due next week, and I need this information. Can you please help me with this?” Your conclusion about how to ask this person for assistance is very different with an empty bucket. His or her cooperation might be, too.
Here are some examples to help you distinguish observations from experiences:
- Someone says to you, “It's raining outside.” That's an observation.
- If you're standing outside in the rain, and you say, “It's raining outside,” that's an experience.
- The nightly news reports the road you take to work will be under construction tomorrow. That's an observation.
- The newspaper in the morning says the road you take to work will be under construction today—another observation.
- You set out to work on the road you usually take, and you see the construction going on—that's an experience.
- A colleague tells you, “We're going to have a meeting tomorrow.” This can't be a fact, because it's in the future and because you don't know it will actually happen. It can't be an experience, because it's in the future. Therefore, it's an observation.
To review:
- Facts are absolute truths.
- Observations aren't absolute truths, and you have not experienced them.
- Experiences are your firsthand encounters.
So What?
Let's turn the table, use a little critical thinking, and ask so what: That is, so what if it's a fact, an observation, or an experience? Why does that matter?
A fact is an absolute truth, so you can rely on it. A premise with facts in it can be very strong, making any conclusions based on that premise highly reliable.
Observations generally carry less weight than our own experiences. We tend to trust what we've witnessed ourselves more than what others claim, especially if we have personal experience. Observations generate discussion about how reliable they are. They can vary greatly, from wild fiction to highly probable truth. Experiences generate discussions about how frequent, relevant, and indicative to the headscratcher they are.
The Takeaway
Experiences are events where you have actually been there and done that or at least tried that or witnessed that. Your involvement doesn't mean you haven't distorted it somehow, but you have experienced it. The more experience you have with a particular issue, the stronger your premise will be. Experiences are great, but they do not stand alone in critical thinking—so beware of them.
In Chapter 21, “The Conclusion: Putting It All Together,” we use and weigh these different components of the premise to reach a conclusion. In the meantime, hang in there, because there are two more premise components: beliefs and assumptions.
Exercises to Distinguish Facts, Observations, and Experiences
Are These Facts, Observations, or Experiences?
- Someone says to you, “Wow, there's a lot of traffic out there.”
- You are driving and you say, “Wow, there's a lot of traffic out here.”
- You pass a road sign that says, “Traffic ahead.”
- Our projects are always late.
- I just spoke to a customer. He said that our service is the best he has ever experienced.
- The store's hours are posted, and the sign reads, “Open at 9:00 AM.”
- The store opens at 9:00 AM.
- I went to the store, and the door was locked.
- Our supplier said it will have the delivery to us within three days.
- In the past, when our supplier says it will deliver within three days, I always see the delivery truck pull up in one or two days.
Answers
- Fact and observation. It's a fact that he or she said it. It's an observation that there is traffic. What is traffic to him or her might be just minor congestion to you.
- Experience. You're there. It's still not a fact that there is traffic, because that's a relative term, but from your perspective, there is traffic.
- Fact and observation. It's a fact that the road sign says “Traffic ahead,” but it's an observation, same as answer number one.
- Observation. There's that always word. You don't know this to be true.
- Experience and observation. You've experienced the conversation. What the customer told you is an observation.
- Fact and observation. It's a fact that the hours posted say 9:00 AM and an observation that the store will really open at 9:00 AM.
- Observation. Says who?
- Experience. You were there. The door was locked.
- Observation. You don't know that.
- Experience. You were there. Here is an example of how you might distort things and why this wouldn't be a fact. The statement reads, “I always see …” Perhaps that is true; perhaps you think it's true, but you may have thrown out (forgotten) that one time they didn't arrive for four days.