FOREWORD
Writing a foreword is an awesome responsibility.
Now, by “awesome,” I don't only mean “great,” though it is definitely that.
I also mean it's important. And significant. And, if you think too long about it, a tad bit overwhelming as you realize you want to get it just right.
Yes, writing a foreword is an awesome responsibility because, in doing so, you are accountable for sharing something and someone important with the world. And, like the bearer of any special gift, you need to show it in the best light possible. Think diamond ring in a velvet box.
Now, if you asked Judy Ringer if she considers herself to be a gift, she'd probably roll her eyes. That's because she's humble. And that humility is an essential part of Turn Enemies Into Allies. Because nothing can humble us more quickly than conflict, and demonstrating humility is also essential to making your way through it.
Of course, like most, I used to avoid conflict. I hated the teeth-grinding, stomach-churning guts of it. But Judy helped me see it more as something to embrace, knowing that, when I come out the other side, I'll be stronger and hopefully wiser.
Interestingly, I first found Judy the way you'd expect to find someone or something incredibly important.
I was searching because I'd run out of ideas. As the manager of a large corporate team, I was looking for help in dealing with a challenging business partner. I had already talked to several colleagues, read some books and articles, and even watched a few videos. But nothing was giving me what I needed. So I searched.
And, in doing so, I came across Judy's work. Then, two coincidences, one right away and the other later, made me pay even closer attention.
First, I saw that the name of her blog was Ki Moments, describing those moments, in her words, as those “in which you are fully aware of your life force and your ability to influence your environment.”
As someone who writes about moments myself, that definitely rang a bell. Several, in fact.
Coincidence number one.
Through Judy's work, I found valuable guidance in how to approach my business partner in an open and curious way, starting with listening instead of talking. And, using what she taught, within a few conversations, he and I actually ended up laughing together about our children. After experiencing that kind of transformation, I began sharing what I had learned from Judy with my team.
Soon though, I faced what, for me, was an even tougher situation. Two of the key people on my team weren't working well together. And, if they didn't work well together, my entire team couldn't. So, I started rummaging again for tools in my leadership “toolkit,” having them meet regularly, working with them to create shared goals, assigning them training, and so and so on. But none of it worked well, or for long.
That is when I learned that Judy had recently completed a manuscript for Turn Enemies Into Allies, a book that appeared to address the same issue I was facing. Again.
Coincidence number two.
After offering to write the book's foreword because of my belief in Judy's message, reinforced by the difference her work had made for me personally, I had the privilege of reading the actual manuscript. And, once again, I was pleasantly surprised to find the exact approach I needed. This time, to help my two team members through and beyond their present situation. And, at the same time, teach them skills that they'd be able to use elsewhere at work, at home, and basically anywhere conflict might arise.
One final thought. In reading this book, I believe you're going to also have your own pleasant surprise. Namely, Judy doesn't talk “at” you, but “with” you. As if you're sitting down with a friend. And what makes this friend extra special is that she brings not only a depth and breadth of experience in conflict management, but a passion for aikido. A passion that is clearly evident as she weaves the martial art's concepts and terms throughout the book.
So, with that, I'll let you open your gift. The following pages await.
And, after you finish and start applying its lessons, notice what happens in and around you. Your life will change. And change other lives as a result.
In that way, this is one case in which regifting isn't just tolerated, it's encouraged.
Take care,
James Warda
Author of Where Are We Going So Fast?:
Finding the Sacred in Everyday Moments