Finding the Right People

Once you’ve overcome the time and/or confidence concerns that may hold you back from connecting with others, the next step is to determine who you’ll meet and how you’ll do so.

Figuring out which networking events to attend

There are dozens of online and offline networking events, so we need to be selective about where to invest our time, energy, and money. Here are some questions to ask yourself to evaluate whether a networking event is likely to be worthwhile.

• Is it convenient? If it requires an hour of driving each way, four hours of a babysitter, and less time spent with clients or developing your business, it definitely needs to meet the other criteria.

• Is it expensive? If you need to join an expensive association to attend, be sure that you speak with a member relations professional about a free trial where you can attend at least one event at no charge to see if it is a good fit for you.

• Is it packed with potential clients? If so, then it is likely to be worth checking out.

• Is it packed with potential referral partners? If so, then it is definitely worth checking out. Referral partners are one of the best ways to build your business. If you can meet many potential referral partners at a networking event and then follow up with them individually, you have a great situation.

• Will I stand out as unique? Many networking situations are with professionals similar to yourself. These professionals are unlikely to be potential referral partners or clients. Attend the event if you are likely to be the only person in your field or one of just a few who each specialize in a distinct area of your field (for example, a divorce attorney, intellectual property attorney, or trusts and estates attorney).

• Is it easy to meet the attendees in other venues? If you can easily meet people individually, you might skip the networking piece and jump right to one on one or small group meetings.

• Is it a place I could speak? I always recommend trying to be the speaker at a networking event rather than attending. This elevates your platform and puts you in a position of power in which people want to talk with you. We discuss this more in Chapter 4.

Is it better to cast a wide net or keep your network small and personal?

I recently asked this question on my Facebook page (Facebook.com/MarketingPsych). Most people felt that quality is more important than quantity. This is true because you’ll need mutually respectful and beneficial relationships for someone to think of you and refer to you. It can be hard to maintain this type of quality in your relationships if you have too many. Imagine that you had 50 close friends; it would be impossible to keep in touch with and get together with all 50, and eventually your friendships would suffer. I see the optimal quantity as something like Figure 1.1.

Figure 1.1 Optimal Number of Relationships

I created this modification of the Yerkes-Dodson Law (which shows the optimal level of anxiety for peak performance) to graphically show how you’ll get your best results with the optimal number of connections. Too few and you’ll have a timing and numbers issue—enough people won’t need you at any one point in time for you to have a thriving business. Too many and you’ll be spread thin, and the quality of your relationships will suffer. It may be tempting and ego gratifying to focus on numbers (such as how many friends or followers you have), but in my experience quality is equally if not more important.

One exception to this rule is influencers. Influencers are people who have a high degree of influence over your ideal client. For example, if you are a pediatric nutritionist in private practice, a well-respected and well-liked pediatrician in your community may be a powerful influencer. Just one influencer could fill your practice or business. So the more influential your referral partners are, the more contact they have with your ideal clients, the fewer referral partners you will need.

Finding the decision makers

The “right people” to meet are the decision makers. When you network with those who ultimately influence the decision of who to hire, your efforts will pay off much more than networking with people who are less influential. While this may be true, do not assume that you know who the decision makers are and neglect to build relationships with others. James, a pharmaceutical salesperson, told me that many people assumed that they needed to get in front of the physicians and neglected to build relationships with others in the practice. However, when James built relationships with the administrative staff, including the office manager, he found himself in front of the physicians more readily. With the help of the support staff, he was able to build relationships with the decision makers. Because his relationships with the administrative staff were so pleasant, he enjoyed his meetings and presentations and didn’t feel that he was pushing his way in or having to “sell” himself and his products.

Whatever you do, do not neglect relationships because you are trying to be efficient and get to the decision maker. Sales trainings often teach that you don’t want to have a meeting unless the decision maker is present. I don’t always agree with this philosophy. A friend told me a story of a horrible mistake along these lines: She and her husband were meeting with real estate agents to select one to sell their house. One agent they spoke with sounded knowledgeable over the phone, so she asked to set up a meeting with him. He asked when they could do it when her husband would be present. She said that her husband was traveling for work and so she was doing the meetings. He again tried to schedule it when her husband would be present. Clearly he was using the sales tactic of trying to meet only with the decision makers, assuming that she and her husband were equal or that he was more of the decision maker. She was turned off by this and did not schedule a meeting with him. Ironically, my friend (not her husband) was the decision maker about which real estate agent to select. Don’t assume that you know who the decision maker is, and even if you do, do not neglect building other relationships.