Chapter 9
Use Social Proof—People Look to Certain Others to Decide What to Do

Picasso once remarked, “I do not care who it is that has or does influence me as long as it is not myself.”

—GERTRUDE STEIN

A FEW YEARS ago, I was at a wedding in a beautiful historic building in Center City Philadelphia. A 10-piece band that probably cost upward of $15,000 started playing, but no one was dancing. Then a couple spun out onto the floor, elegantly moving across the wood floor in the grand ballroom. After just a couple of minutes, the dance floor was filled, and after a few songs, I didn’t see the original dancers anymore. Can you guess what happened? My husband and I figured out that the original couple were professional dancers.

Why would people who have 200 guests attending their wedding hire people to dance? To get others dancing. People have more fun at weddings when they dance, but no one wants to be the first person out on the floor with everyone staring at them. Professional dancers get things going and then others follow.

Wedding dancers are just one of thousands of examples of how we tend to do what other people do. Looking to others to help us decide what to do is called “social proof,” and it is one of the most powerful laws of influence. It’s the idea of safety in numbers. We are most comfortable making choices when others have made and succeeded with similar choices. This tendency seems to be hardwired and linked with our drive to keep ourselves safe. Our success in business relationships does not on the surface appear to be directly linked with our safety, but subconsciously we know that we need to make good impressions and attract new business in order to keep shelter over our heads, feed our families, and so on. It is frightening to make unprecedented choices and commit to doing business with people if we do not have social proof of their effectiveness.

Because of this, social proof is the strongest of all persuasive principles and one that can help you get results in your business relationships. In this chapter, we’ll explore what social proof is and how you can use it help people decide to hire you and refer to you.