What’s getting in the way of your happiness? What are the barriers that are preventing you from being satisfied with your lot? Difficult relationships? Not enough money? A tedious job? Nope – that was a trick, hope you didn’t fall for it. None of these things are stopping you from being happy. You should know by now that all the barriers to happiness are inside you. Yes, that’s right, it’s all coming from you. We’ve already looked at some examples, such as worrying and thinking negatively. What are your own personal blocks, the things about you that hold you back?

If anyone asked you what needs to change to make you happy, the answer is not your job or your relationship or your past. And I’ll tell you why: because if you change all these things, you still haven’t changed your outlook on life. You’ll still be the same person, waiting for some happiness to drift past close enough to grab it for a moment. Whereas if you change your outlook, none of these things – job, relationship, lifestyle – need to change because you can create your own happiness wherever you happen to be.

I’m not saying you can’t change your job or move house or whatever if you want to. If you don’t like the present situation I thoroughly recommend doing what you can to change it. Just don’t expect it to make you happy. At best you may find yourself a bit less unhappy.

Yes, yes, I know it’s not easy. Indeed it can take a lifetime. Mind you, that’s not a lifetime of being miserable with a sudden flash of happiness at the end. That’s a lifetime of becoming progressively happier. Surveys show that people generally get happier as they get older – at least until the last few years. I always used to think, when I was young, that this was weird because the older you are the less life you have left. However, as I get older myself, I realize that this isn’t the important thing – it’s just an outside factor, like the job or the relationship. The thing is that as you get older you simply get better at the things that make people happy – the things inside you. You become more confident, more self-assured, you learn to value yourself, you build strong relationships around you. Of course not everyone manages to do these things, but most people do, and you will because you’re a Rules Player and you’ll persevere until you get there.