I was at school with a guy whose family had relatively little money when he was growing up. Actually, compared to many people in the world, he really wasn’t that badly off. But compared to most of the other kids in school he had less. This is partly what drove him to get a high-powered City job eventually, and he is now very comfortably off. Probably better off than most of the people he was at school with. But boy does he have a chip on his shoulder about money. He hugely resents anyone having money they haven’t worked as hard for as he has, and makes cutting remarks to friends, such as, ‘It’s nice that you can afford to go to the Bahamas for a month on holiday. Not everyone can, you know’. That’s certainly true, but he can.

Look, everyone has their own troubles to cope with, now and in the past. You can’t give other people a hard time just because they haven’t suffered like you have. Whether you had a rotten childhood, or are poor, or have a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, or didn’t get the job you wanted, or can’t have a dog because you’re allergic – whether your troubles are big or small, the point is that it’s not their fault. You have no idea what else your friends have had to contend with in their lives, or will do in the future. They may not have it any easier than you on balance.

If you go round trying to make your friends feel guilty about having some things easy or good, you’ll just end up damaging your friendships. Then are you going to go round resenting people with more friends than you? No, I know you wouldn’t do that – but some would. And what’s the alternative? Would you wish a miserable childhood or poverty or a bad marriage or redundancy or a dog hair allergy on your friends? I certainly hope not. If you’re living your life the best you can, you’ll want to see as many other people happy as possible. So you should be pleased every time you encounter someone who didn’t have it rough.

I don’t want to be unsympathetic to people with tough lives. Of course I’m not. But by becoming bitter you make your life even worse. Just be happy for other people if they don’t have the crosses to bear that you did or do.

That friend of mine, by the way, he may have been born into a relatively poor family, but he was born with brains. That’s how come he got into Oxford University and a plum City job. But does he feel guilty about all those people who weren’t born as clever as him? Of course he doesn’t. But I bet there are people with chips on their shoulders about the fact that he went to a top uni and they didn’t. Gosh, what a lot of wasted resentment there is in the world. Let’s do our bit by not adding to it.