You’ll think this one’s so obvious you’ll be wondering what it’s doing in here and I do apologize if it seems patronizing, simplistic or downright rude. I don’t mean to offend or insult and I do appreciate that you do think for yourself. I guess what I mean by this Rule is that we need to be incredibly clear about our opinions, grounded in our own sense of identity, and very assertive about being us so that we aren’t easily swayed by what other people think of us. It’s tougher than it looks at first glance. We are all vulnerable inside. We all have fears and concerns. We all want to be loved and accepted. We all want to blend in, be one of a crowd, be acknowledged. We all want to belong. The temptation is to say ‘I’ll be whatever you want me to be’.

Being original or creative or different can make us think we stand out too much and will get shunned. But truly successful people aren’t shunned, instead they become pack leaders because of their originality, their difference. If you are obnoxious or rude or hurtful, you will indeed be shunned. But if you are kind, thoughtful, caring and respectful you will be loved and accepted. If you are also original in your thinking, you will be looked up to, respected and admired.

To think for yourself you have to be pretty sure of who you are and be clear in your thinking as well as doing it for yourself – there’s no point in thinking for yourself if it’s all muddled and woolly.

I have a friend who is very intelligent and astute but all her opinions come from reading a particular national newspaper. Whatever line it takes on a particular issue is the same line she will come out with. She trusts her paper implicitly and is unable to see how predictable her views are – seeing as they are always based on what she has read. She will argue her case articulately, forcefully and in a well-reasoned way, but always absolutely in line with her paper’s views. Sometimes we can all be a bit like that and need to change where we get our information from occasionally to make sure we stay fresh and original.

Of course, to think for yourself means you have to (a) have something to think about and (b) actually do the thinking. Look at a selection of people you know. If they are at one with their own life, I bet they are doing both. If they are badly adjusted and generally struggling, I bet they’re not doing either.