Happiness is notoriously hard to define, of course. Are you trying to achieve a constant state of elation, or simply a basic sense of satisfaction with your life – or some point in between? Obviously permanent joy is an unrealistic aim; however, a broad contentment with your lot is a perfectly reasonable thing to want.

Even so, any kind of high level of delight is going to be transient. Joy is not a thing you can hold on to for long, and nor should it be. How boring would it be to be endlessly ecstatic, forever in raptures? It would cease to be delightful because we’d take it for granted. So there have to be bad bits too. The question is, can you be happy when you’re having a bad day, or a rough month, or a depressing year?

Of course you can. If we’re defining happiness as being content with your life, it would be ridiculous to imagine that even the most satisfying life would be all perfect. If that’s what it takes to be happy then no one could ever achieve it, and the whole concept of happiness would be a nonsense. So you have to find a way to maintain your happiness even when things aren’t going well.

We know that however bad it gets, it’s never so bad if you have people to support you, if you consciously appreciate what you do have, if you have some kind of belief system, if you like yourself, if you keep busy, if you do things you enjoy. But on top of that, the key to coping with a bad day – or month, or year – is not to measure your happiness by the standard of now, but by the long term.

So don’t ask yourself, ‘Am I happy right now?’^* Ask yourself, ‘Am I happy overall?’ or even ‘Are there elements of my life I’m happy with?’ Look back over the last few years and consider how your life is going in general. And look forward to where you seem to be heading. That way, even though today is something of a downer, you can see the bigger picture and recognize that you are still fundamentally happy. Today is just a bad day in a happy life. Or a bad day on one level but a happy day on another one.

And if you can’t? Well, I’d suggest reading this book again and really thinking about Rules that especially resonate with you. What small changes can you make to your life and your outlook? And don’t just rely on my observations of people – watch the people you know as well. See who seems happy and think about why they manage to see their lives in such a positive light. We can all achieve happiness if we want it. It might take some effort, but few things in life are more worthwhile.