Every now and then someone or something is really going to get your goat. But you’re a Rules Player now and you’re not going to lose your temper any more. How, exactly? The answer is in fact one of those old pearls of wisdom. You get in the habit of counting to ten under your breath while you hope and pray that the feeling of impending rage will subside. It invariably does for me, and gives me those vital seconds to regain my composure and remember where I am and who I am. Once I have collected my wits and calmed down, I can find an appropriate response.

But that counting to ten is essential. ‘Old hat’, I hear you say. Yep, but it works. You don’t like it? Then you are most welcome to find something else to recite under your breath. A poem perhaps, but it has to be a short one. That’s why I suggested ‘Baa baa black sheep’.

Or you could try ‘I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky, I left my pants and socks there and I wonder if they’re dry’.^* That might make you laugh as well as calming you down.

Someone asks you a question and you’re not sure of the answer? Take ten before you answer. They’ll all think you incredibly wise and considered and thoughtful. (Don’t tell them if you are actually reciting ‘Baa baa black sheep’.) It’s a variant on ‘Engage brain before opening mouth’ too – that extended pause can save endless trouble.

If you find yourself in a confrontational situation, taking a quiet ten can help enormously. I was once in a rough part of a town but very hungry so I ventured into a fish and chip shop. As I was being served, the ‘rough diamond’ behind me whispered that I should be very careful when I left the shop. I asked why and he said that I would be relieved of my food when I got outside by the local lads who were all sitting on a brick wall. ‘Saves waiting in the queue’, he confided.

I left the shop with trepidation – no, wait, it was actually fear. But I buttoned up my coat, took a deep breath and stood there looking at the youths. I counted to ten slowly while we all eyed each other up and then I walked towards them very purposefully. As I got to them, still counting, they turned away and I was left alone. God, those fish and chips tasted wonderful!