Chapter
7
Cultural Gestures
In This Chapter
• The international language of gestures
• Various cultural norms and gestures
• Common gestures with different meanings
Hand gestures have different meanings in different parts of the world—a fact some pop stars, and even heads of state, learned the hard way. By getting a handle on your hand gestures, you’ll not only make a better impression, you may even avoid getting arrested or causing an international incident! Even if you never leave your hometown, it is important to realize how powerful and communicative gestures can be. You’d hate to send the wrong message.
In this chapter, we place hand gestures in their cultural context, provide a little background on various countries and their customs, and then offer a list of gestures to avoid. This chapter will be helpful when you’re traveling or encountering people from other cultures when you’re at the store, at your kid’s baseball game, at the office, or anywhere. Some of it is pretty funny, and it will make you sound wicked smart at parties.
Illustrators and Emblems
Hand gestures typically fall into one of two categories: illustrators or emblems. Illustrators fill blanks or add emphasis, much like in those old silent movies, where gestures brought the story to life.
If you were to ask a guy on the street for directions, he would probably use hand gestures, instead of street names, to “illustrate” his points and guide you in the right direction. We cover illustrators in more detail in the next chapter.
Emblems, on the other hand, tend to be less helpful and more declarative, or “emblematic,” conveying a complete thought or emotion. Giving a high five would be a good example.
Emblems are also cultural. For example the two-fingered “V” gesture with the palm facing out, known throughout America as a peace sign, means “V” for victory in the United Kingdom—thanks to Winston Churchill. It’s a tricky thing, that “V.” Palm out it’s peace or victory; but palm in, well, let’s just say you should be prepared to defend yourself.
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Who wouldn’t like a hug and a pat on the back? The Queen of England, for one, as First Lady Michelle Obama learned—a split second after that knowledge would have saved her from an embarrassing gaffe.
The University of Texas produced a video to help an Italy-bound group of Longhorns avoid the likely fist fights that were sure to have followed a careless “Hook ’em Horns!” gesture—which in Italy means, “Your wife has been unfaithful.”
Most travel agents and professional guides will give you a heads-up on emblematic hand gestures, if you ask, before you depart on any overseas trip. Here are a few common do’s and don’ts to get you around the world and back, without landing in jail or losing your pearly whites.
Australia
As Americans, we know that Fosters is Australian for “beer”; the Outback is a casual dining chain based in Tampa; and the palm-in peace sign is a way for American heads of state to get face time on Australia’s Funniest Home Videos. Almost everything else we know, we learned from Crocodile Dundee movies or The Crocodile Hunter.
Laid-back Australians don’t stand on ceremony. They get along with most everyone. So on the theory that nothing—except maybe body language—goes without saying, here are some tips to make sure your trip Down Under is just bonzer.
Tip number one: Don’t say bonzer. It’s passé and condescending. And though Aussies may greet you and each other with a warm “G’day” or “G’day, mate,” from you it would come across like a New Yorker trying to talk Texan.
In greeting, a polite handshake and smile are sufficient. Australians tend to be matter-of-fact, so keep your long-winded travelogues for other vacation destinations.
Gestures to avoid in Australia:
• The American peace sign is the victory sign in Australia, but a palm-in peace sign means, “go perform an unholy act on yourself.”
• Thumbs up has only one connotation—roughly equivalent to the palm-in peace sign. They also use the middle finger and the European favorite of slapping the bicep and raising a fist. For such a laid-back group, they seem to have no shortage of ways to let you know where you stand.
• Stretching the hand out, palms up, curling fingers in and out, is the Aussie way of summoning a prostitute.
Family is priority one in Belgium. Many have lived in the same area throughout their lives, sticking close to their roots.
Appearance matters; their homes, sidewalks, and front porch steps are spotless. God forbid you see any dirt on the floor. It’s a disgrace to have tall, unkempt hedges and gardens in front of their houses.
Social etiquette is also very important. Dress well when going out. Image is second here only to family.
Introductions begin with a handshake—brief, light pressure. After you build rapport, a three-cheek air kiss, brushed lightly, alternating sides—never on the lips—says, “We’re close friends.”
This air kiss is an expression of friendship.
A handshake is also appropriate on departure.
Communication is logical and must be founded on good reasoning. Belgians love to engage in long-winded discussions. If you’re late, you’ll be judged unreliable.
Gestures to avoid in Belgium:
• Don’t point your index finger or talk loudly, be overly casual, or have poor posture.
• Avoid kicking your feet up and feeling like you’re at home.
• Never snap your fingers to get someone’s attention—even a waiter.
• Avoid putting your hands in your pockets—you know you want to.
Cambodia
Cambodians don’t respond well to aggressive, boastful communication styles. Interpersonal communication is based on humility and saving face.
For greetings, bow while bending forward with your hands held in prayerlike fashion. Cambodians have also adopted the western traditional handshake, but take your cues from the person you are interacting with—in other words, mirror.
It is polite to bring a small gift—fruit or candy—when invited to someone’s home, and deliver it with both hands. When offered a gift, politely refuse at first, but always accept it, graciously, in the end, receiving it with both hands.
Punctuality is expected; meetings are not planned without an agenda and schedule. Relationships and mutual trust are important; keep negative comments to yourself.
Cambodians are up on nonverbal communication, so make sure you present a great first impression. Cambodians suppress showing anger, anxiousness, or irritation. A smile is more situational and can have many interpretations. For example, Cambodians may smile when they’re feeling nervous or irritated, rather than when they’re feeling happy. Also avoid long eye contact.
Gestures to avoid in Cambodia:
• Never touch a Cambodian on the head or anywhere above the shoulders, even a child.
• Do not use your left hand to touch, eat, or pass anything.
• Never point with your index finger—gesture with your right hand, palm up.
• When seated, never sit higher than the oldest person in the room.
Nonverbal communication speaks volumes in China. They pay close attention to facial expression, body language, and tone of voice. The Chinese mask their expressions by maintaining a neutral affect when speaking. It is improper to stare or make direct eye contact in crowded areas.
Pointing and beckoning is considered rude in China. Here’s a handy gesture that will at least keep you from dehydrating while you figure out how to ask a waiter for the check: if you need a refill on your drink at a restaurant, just turn your cup upside down. This signals that it is empty and you need a refill.
Turning your cup upside down is the polite way to indicate you need a refill.
Gestures to avoid in China:
• The Fig (Got your nose!): Thumb between middle and forefinger. This is considered obscene.
• An upraised fist is also considered obscene.
• Don’t point or beckon a person—this is reserved for dogs.
Being a coastal country convenient to the Straits of Magellan, Chile is a worldly country that has, over the years, been a popular emigration destination for most of Western Europe and Eastern Europeans seeking respite from oppressive regimes.
Home of the late Pulitzer Prize–winning poet Pablo Neruda, Chile boasts a 95 percent literacy rate and progressive politics, with women enjoying positions of power and respect. In fact, from 2006 to 2010, the President of Chile was a woman, Michelle Bachelet.
Chileans tend to be formal—with men standing when women enter, and greetings including academic and professional titles. A kiss on the right cheek among friends, in greeting, is common. When invited as a guest to a Chilean home, a hostess gift is expected. Manners matter.
Shake hands socially only when a handshake is offered; it is not expected. A firm handshake, direct eye contact, and a smile are expected in business.
Gestures to avoid in Chile:
• All of the typical European and American vulgar gestures are observed and understood.
• The concha: Palm up, thumb pressed to raised fingertips to form a shell—a reference to a part of the female anatomy—seems to be Chile’s primary contribution to the world supply of vulgar gestures.
• Tapita: The okay sign, covered with the palm of the opposite hand, means essentially the same thing.
• Slapping your left palm against your right fist is considered vulgar.
• Holding both hands together in a fisted position is obscene.
• Lifting a fist upright at head level is also considered obscene.
• Palm of the hand up, with fingers spread, says “You’re stupid.”
The tapita is a vulgar gesture.
Raising a fist like this is considered obscene.
Slapping the left palm against your right fist is vulgar.
This gesture says, “You’re stupid!”
East Africans are group-oriented and community is important. They lend a hand and pull together. Upon greeting during a casual encounter, they shake hands shortly, and in more established relationships, the handshake is prolonged.
When female friends greet each other, they kiss each side of the cheek. In a male/female introduction, one may or may not shake hands. Speaking is often accompanied by gesturing.
• Various tribes greet each other by spitting at each other’s feet.
• Friends shake hands with a quick slap of the palms followed by a light four-fingered grip.
The four-finger grip is a greeting between friends.
Gestures to avoid in East Africa:
• Pointing is considered rude.
• Beckoning with a crooked finger is also considered rude.
• Eating, greeting, writing, or really doing anything with your left hand is considered vulgar.
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India
Indians have a hard time saying no in order to avoid disappointing you. Rather than telling you they are sold out of your favorite item, they opt to offer another option. This should not be taken as being dishonest; it’s because they want to please you. They hope you can pick up on their nonverbal subtleties, because they dislike speaking about anything negative. They believe it is rude not to find something that pleases you. Shaking hands is customary; men shake hands with men, and women with women, but not women with men.
Gestures to avoid in India:
• Don’t beckon with one finger, palm up.
• Cutis: Hook thumbnail on teeth and flick. It means what you think it means.
• Never touch the head of a person from India—the head is the home of the soul.
• Watch your step—pointing with your foot, or showing someone the bottom of your foot, is offensive.
• The “no left-handed gestures” rule applies. Sorry, left-handers.
Italy
Dress to impress, or you might as well stay home. Italians are fashion conscious and very particular about first impressions. Image projects one’s status, education, and family background.
Greet Italians with a great handshake and direct eye contact, with a little enthusiasm, and you’re in! If you’ve built a relationship with an Italian, greet them with an air kiss on both cheeks, starting on the left, then right. Men give an additional pat on the back.
Gestures are practically parts of speech in Italy. They have a gesture for everything. If a guy sees a pretty girl, for example, he may raise his right index finger to his cheek and twist it. This means “Hot stuff!” or literally “delicious.”
This gesture means, “She’s hot!”
Italians prefer close physical contact. It’s common to see hugging between good male friends, and long handshakes with hands clasped hand over hand. Cheek kisses are common for both men and women.
The summoning gesture, for calling someone to come closer, is a scooping motion, with the palm down, as if drawing the person to you. To say good-bye, hold your hand, palm up, and clap your fingers repeatedly against your palm, like a grasping baby.
Saying hello and good-bye.
Italian gestures could fill a book by themselves. In the interest of time, here are a few gestures to avoid:
• Horns: The official hand gesture of the University of Texas Longhorns, in Italian, means that your partner has been unfaithful. The “I love you” gesture from American Sign Language also comes dangerously close.
• Index finger to the temple means “Are you crazy?”
• Hands thrown forward, palms up, is a gesture borrowed from Greece that essentially means “eat pig flop.”
• All of the other European offensive gestures apply.
• Dragging the thumb from the right eye down the right cheek means “clever” or “wily,” but is sometimes used sarcastically.
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Peruvians, like Italians, are notorious for using a lot of hand gestures to communicate. Because of their expressiveness, they tend to be quite animated. Peruvians speak softly, so avoid talking too loudly; it can be a real turn-off.
Peruvians are not the most prompt culture; they’re more relaxed and less concerned about time schedules than Americans. Their focus is on family and relationships. Most Peruvian women are homemakers. Men prefer to do business with those they have known for a while, and with whom they have built trust over time; they require a strong bond before entering into any business relationship. Your rapport-building skills and first impressions will be crucial here.
Peruvians dress sharply when they go out, so keep those tourist clothes in your suitcase and break out your Sunday best. If you dress too casually, you’ll be frowned upon.
Opposite sexes shake hands. When two men meet who know each other, they will shake hands and/or give each other a nice pat on the back. Women will often greet each other with a kiss on one cheek.
Peruvians stand close together when they talk, and maintain eye contact, almost to the point of staring. Be careful not to offend by standing too far away, and try to mirror their eye contact behavior.
The American okay gesture, turned upside down while verbally commenting “service was excellent,” is considered a compliment—although, as a general rule, you might want to leave that gesture at home when you travel. Better safe than sorry.
The okay gesture turned upside down is usually considered polite.
If you see a Peruvian tapping their head slightly while you talk, this indicates, “I’m thinking.”
Tapping the head shows the person is thinking about something.
The beckoning index finger is another gesture you may want to leave home in your sock drawer. In Peru, when you want someone to come closer, turn your palm toward the ground and use all of your fingers to draw them toward you.
Come here!
A Few More
Gestures have different meanings in different countries. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you could wind up with trouble on your hands. Here are a few more to keep in mind:
• Greece: Avoid the “stop” signal—the popular American “talk to the hand” gesture made famous by The Supremes; it’s insulting. Also, the moutza gesture—both hands and fingers open and pushing away—is an offensive pantomime of throwing excrement.
The stop gesture is considered an insult.
• Pakistan: Never reach for food with your left hand; the left hand is seen as unclean. This is true of many other countries as well. It’s probably best to fake being right-handed when you travel abroad.
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• Japan: Four fingers thrust in someone’s face is the Japanese way of saying, “You’re less than human; you’re an animal.”
Top Five Most Misunderstood Hand Gestures
The following gestures are innocent in some places and offensive in others. When in doubt, just keep your hands to yourself!
Circling your index finger at your temple:
• America, Germany: You’re crazy.
• Argentina: You have a phone call.
Okay gesture:
• France: You’re worth zero.
• Japan: Money.
• Brazil: A sexual orifice.
• Middle East: Sexual proposition.
• Peru, Brazil, Germany: Anus.
• America: Good job, all’s well.
• Australia: Up yours.
• Germany: One, please.
• America (palm out or in): Hippie solidarity, opposition to war.
• Great Britain, Australia, Ireland, and New Zealand: Palm out means victory; palm in means the same as flipping the bird.
And the queen mother of all misunderstood hand gestures … Horns:
• America: Rock and roll; two outs; Hail Satan; or “I’m a Texas Longhorn fan.”
• Italy: Your partner is cheating on you (horns down means blocks evil).
• Brazil and Venezuela: See Italy.
• Africa: Throwing a curse.
• Australia: Sign language for cattle; see Texas Longhorns.
• Russia: An insult aimed at the newly rich.
• Buddhism and Hinduism: Sacred hand, dispels evil.
• American Sign Language (horns, with thumb extended): I love you. Although this is actually based on the fact that the fingers in that position spell out ILU, it has been misinterpreted by some as satanic.
The Least You Need to Know
• Gestures may have different meanings in different countries.
• What may be perfectly acceptable in one culture may be offensive in another.
• To avoid inadvertent offense, brush up on the customs of another country before traveling there or attempting to communicate with people from there.