Contents

Part 1:  Silent Messages

1     Body Language Basics

No Smoking Gun

Myths and Truths

Don’t Make Assumptions

Getting an Accurate Read

How Clues Are Missed

Basic Training: Five Steps to Reading People

Step 1—Building Rapport

Step 2—Mirroring

Step 3—Norming

Step 4—Baselining

Step 5—Comparing and Contrasting Behaviors

Field Exercise: A Client Meeting

2     First Impressions

Snap Judgments

Ten Quick Fixes for Great First Impressions

Quick Fix #1—Personal Assessment

Quick Fix #2—The Handshake

Quick Fix #3—Eye Contact

Quick Fix #4—The Head Tilt

Quick Fix #5—Head Nods

Quick Fix #6—The Smile

Quick Fix #7—Great Teeth

Quick Fix #8—Walking Style

Quick Fix #9—Posture

Quick Fix #10—Open Gestures

3     Perception Is Reality

We, the Jury

Case Clothed

Clothes Audit

Ten Clothing Must-Haves for Women

Ten Clothing Must-Haves for Men

Sole Searching

Looks Do Matter

Hairstyle

Facial Hair

Tattoos

Piercings

Interesting Facts About Appearance

Color Psychology

4     Face Time

The Seven Universal Facial Expressions of Emotions

Can You Read Faces?

Some Reactions Are Predictable

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Faces Reveal Competency

Tricks of the Trade

The Eyebrow Flash

The Head Tilt and Nod

The Lip Pump

Real Smile, or Crocodile?

The Smirk

The Smug

Raising Your Eye-Q

Revealing Pupils

The Eye Pull

Avoidance

Field Trip

When Claudia Met Paul

Overwhelmed with Joy

Power Play

Even a Nonexpression Is an Expression

5     How People Learn and Communicate

Styles of Learning

How to Read Learning Styles Through Body Language

Visual Body Language

Auditory Body Language

Kinesthetic Body Language

What Style Are You?

Visual

Auditory

Kinesthetic

Apply What You’ve Learned

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

Reading Key Phrases

Effective Communication

Part 2:  Body Talk

6     See What You’ve Been Missing

Eye Witness

NLP

Sensory or Representation Systems

Look Here

Eyes on the Prize

No Eye Movement

What’s Your Style?

Building Your Eye Reading Skills

The Big Chill

Total Recall

Mixed Blessing

Risky Business

Lyin’ Eyes

7     Cultural Gestures

Illustrators and Emblems

Australia

Belgium

Cambodia

China

Chile

East Africa

India

Italy

Peru

A Few More

Top Five Most Misunderstood Hand Gestures

8     Illustrative Gestures

Illustrating Your Point

Regulators

Metaphors

Icons

Affectation

Putting Gestures to Work

Persuasion

Cooperation

Motivation

Inspiration

Compassion

Authority

Visualization

Punctuation

What Gestures Say About You

The Hammerhead

Blame Game

The Put Down

Backward Wrist Slap

The Limp Wrist

Do’s and Don’ts of Gestures

9     Display of Emotions

Central Casting

What’s My Motivation?

Confidence

Low Self-Esteem

Arrogance

Deception

Flirtation

Anger

Nervousness/Anxiety

Depression

Self-Doubt

Listen to Me!

Critical

Power Play

Appreciation

Crossed Arms: The All-Purpose Gesture

10     Best Foot Forward

Exit, Stage Left

Enter, Stage (F)right

Foot Rapport

Rocking It

Tenuous and Solid Ground

The Ankle Cross

Foot Flirt

Time to Go

Brace Yourself

The Kick Back

It’s Time to Leave

Floor Tap

Reading Feet for an Advantage

Part 3:  Deception Detection

11     Why Kids Lie

Why Do Kids Lie?

Motivation: The What Behind the Why

Fear of Punishment

Personal Gain

Peer Pressure

Protect Themselves from Harm

Protect Others from Harm

Fear of Embarrassment or Shame

Gain Admiration or Attention

White Lies

Trust, but Verify

The Kelly Conundrum

12     Body of Evidence

Different Kinds of Lies

High-Stakes Lies

Day-to-Day Lies

Self-Deception

Concealment

Partial Truths

Tricks of the Trade

Deceptive Demeanor

Lack of Illustrators

Duping Delight

Documenting Behavior Clues

13     Lying Styles

Read My Lips

Argumentum ad Ignorantiam

Exaggeration

Argumentum ad Hominem

Pettifoggery

Poisoning the Well

Repeated Assertion

“You Don’t Understand”

Lying by Referral

The Third-Person Gimmick

Loophole Lying

The Nonresponsive Liar

Testing the Waters

Deceptive Truths

Al Beback

Hints

Innuendo

Hyperbole

Euphemism

14     Voice and Vocabulary

I’m Counting on You

The “I” Word

Other Revealing Words

LIWC and Lying

How You Say It

Inflection

Pace

Lowered Voice

Mumbling

Buying Time

Monotone

Laughing

Part 4:  Strictly Business

15     Body Language for Job Interviews

How to Dazzle a Potential Employer

Do Your Homework

The Waiting Area

Travel Light

Dress Accordingly

Meet and Greet

Entering the Interview

Hand Placement

Level Eyes

Saving Face

Frame It

Nod Your Head

Use Color

Signs Your Interview Is Headed South

Leaning Back

Checking the Time

A Critical Eye

Body Angles

The Blank Stare

You’re Out

Signs the Interview Is Going Well

16     Body Language of Leaders

Suggestology

Making a Persuasive Presentation

Step 1: Welcome

Step 2: Introductions

Step 3: Participation Prompts

Step 4: Spatial Anchoring—The Bad News

Step 5: Spatial Anchoring—The Good News

Step 6: Center Stage

Step 7: The Close

17     Negotiation Signals

The Trump Card

Tap Dancing

Rocking

Rubbing Hands Together

Grooming Gestures

Karate Chop

Finger Pointing

Face Scratching

Pupil Dilation

Ring Around the Collar

Flared Nostrils

Wedding Ring Twist

Squirming

Leaning Away

Reserving Judgment

Critical Thinking

Chin Stroking

Steeple

Closed Hand Gestures

What Am I Thinking?

Gaining Cooperation

Seating Arrangements

Conflict Resolution

Using Minimal Encouragers

Putting It All Together

18     The Language of Attraction

Open Your Eyes

Attractor Factor

Eye Gazing

Do This

Show Your Vulnerable Side

Use Your Hair

Peekaboo

Dangle Your Shoe

Stand Tall

Lick Your Lips

Glance Over Your Shoulder

Embrace Your Curves

Remain Mysterious

Don’t Do This

Wandering Eyes

Back Pats

Last-Minute Invitations

Shifty Eyes

Cell Phone Fascination

Cold Shoulder

Too Much Too Soon

Reading Your Date

Appendixes

A        References

B        Answers

       Index