Chapter
10
Best Foot Forward
In This Chapter
• What someone’s feet are telling you
• How to read feet
• Which scenarios to learn by
Just like other body parts we’ve talked about, feet are conduits of someone’s emotions as well. It may be hard to believe, but after you know what to look for, you’ll be reading someone like a book just by looking at what they’re doing with their feet.
In this chapter, you learn how emotions leak through our feet and give us away, even when we’re wearing shoes. You also learn to read the subtle clues that reveal when someone is interested in you or is telling you to put an egg in your shoe and beat it; if they don’t have time to talk; or whether you’re invited to join in the group discussion or are being shunned. Here are some scenarios to show you how it works.
Exit, Stage Left
Ladies, have you ever been caught a tortilla shell short of a taco and had to run to the store in your grubbies, with no makeup or manicure? You dash down the ethnic foods aisle only to run into Diamond Jane Gotrocks, in her full-length mink, waiting for the stock boy to deliver her special-ordered steel-cut, hand-ground mustard.
You consider throwing it into reverse and waiting her out in the next aisle, or maybe reaching through to snag what you want without being discovered. But it’s too late.
“Hey-ey” she says, waggling her diamond-dappled fingers and poodling over for an air kiss. “Dahlink. You’ve really let yourself go,” she says.
You square your shoulders and break brave, trying to pull off an offsetting gossip block. “It’s so good to see you, Jane. I didn’t know you did your own shopping. What happened, did your pool boy move out?”
Jane’s lips draw thin and tight. Your gambit is dangerously close to working, until her eyes are drawn down to your yellow Crocs, and she smiles a wicked crocodile smile of her own.
The direction your feet are pointing tells her the truth. You may be fronting brave with your squared shoulders, but your feet are screaming “Let’s get out of here!”
All you can do at that point is grab your taco shells and take the walk of shame in your yellow rubber shoes to the checkout, hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know.
Enter, Stage (F)right
Jennifer is attending her husband Brock’s annual company awards banquet. She hasn’t seen many of the employees since last year at the same event. Brock is a social butterfly, flitting around the room, checking in with all his work buddies. Jennifer, who is more of an introvert, is feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Brock stands face-to-face with a co-worker. Their feet are parallel—a sign of rapport. Jennifer is standing with her feet tightly together, sole to sole and heel to heel, like bowling pins side-by-side. What Brock fails to recognize is that Jennifer is feeling a bit insecure.
When the feet and legs are held closely together like candle sticks, this shows low confidence for an already shy, introverted Jennifer.
Jennifer’s stance in this picture shows she’s feeling left out.
What can Brock do to make Jennifer feel more secure, confident, and included? He can move his feet to form an open triangle that includes Jennifer and his co-worker. This would pull her into a three-way conversation, rather than continuing a one-on-one with the co-worker, excluding Jennifer. This helps encourage Jennifer to be an equal participant in the conversation.
This foot triangle allows Jennifer to feel included in the conversation.
Foot Rapport
Your company just landed a big marketing client. Congratulations! The table is all set up, and the seating arrangement has you next to the client. Your boss is giving the presentation at the front of the conference table, and you are seated between the client and the place your boss is standing. You notice that your client’s left leg is crossed over his right, facing the presenter.
Being respectful to the presenter, it is always polite to face the person who is speaking, but you must also maintain rapport with your client. You can make the situation work by crossing your legs in the same direction as your client.
This seems like common sense to some, but you’d be surprised how many people would plant both feet firmly on the floor, and not follow the client’s sitting position. Angling feet in the same direction subconsciously creates rapport and commonality.
Crossing your legs to mirror your client is a signal of rapport.
When seated, don’t ever show the sole of your shoe. This occurs when you’re seated and one foot is bent parallel to the floor, showing the worn sole of the shoe. In some cultures, that is considered offensive. Here in the United States, thin or holey soles suggest a lack of attention to detail.
Showing the sole of the shoe can also represent a feeling of inadequacy.
They say that many business deals are made out on the golf course, so you’ve planned an outing with a client for a round of golf, planning to relax and maybe drop a few hints along the way about a really cool business venture.
After your round, you retreat to the clubhouse for conversation over a drink or two. You begin to talk more in depth about the proposed venture, hoping to get your client’s attention.
You notice your client is rocking up and down on his feet like a teeter-totter on the floor. This motion signals his interest and anticipation. Being the great foot reader you are, you can read that the client is very interested in the opportunity, just by his feet. This is your opportunity to seal the deal and get him on board.
Rocking on the feet can signal anticipation.
Your boss calls you into his office to go over the sales numbers from last quarter. You know they’re not good and your department did not meet its quota. You’re flooded with the uncertainty of whether you’ll have a job after the meeting. “What is the boss going to tell me? What will I tell my wife? What will she think?”
As you enter the office, he says, “Take a seat.” You comply, folding your right leg to form a figure four over your left knee, and grabbing hold of your ankle to brace yourself for the news. Your foot is wiggling up and down.
Holding your leg can signal tension.
Good news! The boss didn’t call you in to fire you. He just wanted to talk strategy. In fact, he compliments you and thanks you for all your hard work. You can feel your fear ebb.
As the meeting adjourns, you stand, feet firmly planted, shoulder-width apart, toes turned out slightly—a stance that says, “I’m on solid ground.”
When interviewing for a job as a litigant, employer, leader, manager, or CEO, the on-solid-ground foot stance is perceived positively.
This stance indicates stability.
The Ankle Cross
The ankle cross has a few different interpretations. If the legs are extended and crossed at the ankles, it is seen as a relaxed state.
Legs crossed at the ankle is also a runway model stance.
The mood changes when legs are stretched out, crossed at the ankles, and the hands are held behind the head. This can signal dominance, arrogance, or control.
Legs that are crossed at the ankles and pulled in under the chair signal insecurity or feeling left out.
When you pull your crossed feet under a chair such as in this picture, you indicate you’re feeling left out.
Foot Flirt
When a date is interested in you, you’ll notice their feet and toes will align with yours. You’ll see this when two people are seated in chairs side-by-side. Your date crosses their legs in your direction, while your legs are crossed inward, toward your date, as if your toes are almost touching or are turned in toward each other.
This mirroring shows interest in the other person.
If your date’s feet and legs turn away from you, they’re saying nonverbally “I’m not interested.”
See ya!
If your date crosses their legs toward you, and at the same time points their toes in the opposite direction, they are telling you they are ready to call it a night.
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YA DON’T SAY |
Having the feet turned away shows the person is ready to leave.
Brace Yourself
You are about to take a ride on a roller coaster. You’re strapped in and ready to take off. Before the ride begins, you grab the harness and hang on for dear life. Similarly, when your feet are wrapped around the legs of the chair, you’re saying, “Brace yourself; we’re in for a bumpy ride.” This posture is often seen with people who are feeling left out or a bit insecure.
This bracing gesture indicates insecurity.
The Kick Back
Honey, did you get the popcorn? Ahh, yes! It’s movie time. Stretch those legs out; it’s been a long day and it’s time to relax.
A relaxed gesture.
The angles of the body, feet, and legs reveal where they want to go. It’s much like driving a car; when you twist the steering wheel left, the car will go left; when you twist right, it goes right. Have you ever experienced driving home from work when your body is on auto pilot? You’re almost home, and you realize, “I don’t even remember how I got here.” Reading the angles of the body, feet, and legs can tell you what direction you want to go, sometimes before you even actively walk out the door.
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YA DON’T SAY |
This is often seen in criminal investigations, also. When interviewing a suspect, the law enforcement officer looks for clues that the suspect is feeling on edge and might be ready to bolt.
Here’s another clue that someone has a few tricks up their sleeve. You’re at the airport, ready to walk though security. You remove your shoes, belt, and any electronic equipment you have in your briefcase. The security officer looks at you and notices that your body, legs, and feet are turned toward the exit, with only your head facing the officer. It may trigger the officer to look inside your bags to see what you might be hiding.
Dr. Paul Ekman, the researcher we talked about in Chapter 4 who identified all those facial expressions, also observed travelers at an airport. He found that people who angled their body, legs, or feet toward the exit often concealed items in their bags that were unable to pass through inspection, such as cigarettes and alcohol.
Of course, there are other reasons. They could be late for their flight, and might have been saving face by making eye contact, but their feet were pointed toward the terminal because they were in a hurry.
You’re at the poker table and have just been dealt a great hand of cards. Your legs begin to tap dance on the floor. The excitement goes right down to your toes, and your happy feet begin to applaud silently. If you really have a hard time containing your excitement, the back of your chair will begin to vibrate. If you really do play poker, you may want to train yourself out of this habit and begin to look for it in your opponents.
Unlike the excited foot tap which includes both feet, tapping one foot signals impatience.
Reading Feet for an Advantage
It’s simpler to use reading feet to your advantage than you might think. Here are some more examples in everyday experiences:
• If you’re passing a co-worker in the hallway and you stop him to get his attention, but you notice his feet are pointed straight ahead, just give him a pat on the back and say, “Hey, let’s catch up later.”
• If you notice your assistant’s legs pulled in like a turtle hiding under a shell, you know that she is feeling a little insecure. So this would be a good time to give her some positive reassurance.
• When you see your date’s toes pointing the opposite direction of his crossed legs, it’s a signal that he’s bored and ready to exit; end the date before he does. Or, if you don’t want the date to end so soon, find a topic that interests him and use the mirroring techniques you learned in Chapter 1 to get him interested in staying a little longer.
• If you notice your sales prospect rocking back and forth on his feet, seal the deal right then.
The Least You Need to Know
• The direction of your feet indicates where you want to go.
• The feet reveal internal dialogue.
• Pay as much attention to feet as you do to the rest of the body when it comes to reading body language.