15
Winning Still Matters
ERIC’S SON, AXEL, attends a well-to-do private school. He came home from school one day and told Eric that he was taught that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, only if you have fun. Eric immediately asked Axel if he gets more enjoyment—if he has more fun—at wrestling when he is getting pinned or when he is pinning his opponent? Eric asked Axel if he really likes getting over the obstacles at the indoor obstacle course they go to or if he feels just as good when he can’t get over one. Eric asked him if he is happier when he gets a gold star on his homework assignments or when it is marked in red. Winning and losing matter. Be aware of it. Just don’t focus on it. Focus instead on behaviors, on meeting team standards. Great teammates do. Standards have nothing to do with talent; they are a choice. Axel might not be able to dribble a basketball, but he can still be a tough basketball player if he achieves the standards that reinforce tough on his basketball team (i.e., dive for loose balls, help teammates and opponents off the floor). Winning and losing matter. Be aware of it. Just don’t focus on it. Focus instead on behaviors, on meeting team standards. Great teammates do. Remember that goals are performance based. Standards are behavior based. Goals reinforce what we want to accomplish. Standards reinforce how we behave. Axel is extremely happy when he pins his wrestling opponent, gets over an obstacle, or receives a gold star for his homework. Of course, Axel gets excited about winning and is naturally disappointed when he doesn’t. Further, he is seven years old, so he will spend his entire life in an age of social media. Therefore, someday a lot of people might make a big deal if he can dribble a basketball really well. There is also the possibility that a huge number of people will make a really big deal about it if he doesn’t dribble it very well in a game. Instead of worrying about people who might be happy or angry with him due to his ability to dribble, Eric hopes he stays focused on being selfless, tough, and disciplined, Team Kapitulik’s Core Values. Consistent behaviors will determine Axel’s (and all of our) consistent success on whatever the battlefield. There are a thousand things that Axel doesn’t control that can contribute to his dribbling a basketball well in a game. The other team may just deny him the ball. The same is true for his performance at school. He could choose to take a really easy course and get an A, or a very difficult one and get a B (or like his father, a C). The most successful individuals and teams stay focused only on what they can control, and we control our behaviors. Doing so will allow us to compete for championships on whatever our chosen battlefield. With that said, if we had asked Jamey and his teammates if winning or losing mattered just prior to the start of Operation Ricochet, they would have thought the question rhetorical. Winning matters and great teammates help their teams win. We must always be aware of our performance, aware of our team’s goals, but we must focus on how we are to achieve them, we must focus on meeting our team’s standards. “Self-discipline is something—it’s like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.”—psychologist Daniel Goldstein Take strain. We all have a different definition of success, but most of us would agree that to be successful on whatever our chosen battlefield, we will have to give great effort. Prior to an SEC football game, Coach Butch Jones addressed his team: “Effort is the weakest word in the English language. Giving effort is the price of admission just to step on the field on this team and in the SEC. Plus, I know guys are going to give effort. I want to see who will take strain from their teammates. I want to see who will sacrifice and put more on his own shoulders to help his teammates and this team.” Giving great effort benefits the team, but it also benefits the person who is giving it. There is nothing wrong at all with this fact, but it is a fact. People who give great effort do help the team, but they also help themselves in the process. However, the most successful teams have teammates who give effort and “take strain” from their teammates. They sacrifice for one another. Effort always benefits the individual giving it. Taking strain may not, but it will make our teammates trust and respect us, and it always makes our team better. It isn’t just about what we do (effort), but rather what we are willing to sacrifice (strain) for our teammates. Are we willing to sacrifice going to a party or staying out late so that we can watch more game film? Are we willing to cover assignments for a corporate teammate who needs to leave early? Are we willing to make better decisions nutritionally and sacrifice the chips and fast food or soda that we crave so that we can lose weight and play with our kids more? Are we willing to wake up in the middle of the night, even when it isn’t our “turn”, to comfort a crying baby so our partner can sleep more? Great teammates don’t just give great effort. They take strain.
Action Items on Meeting the Standard
Saved Round on Meeting the Standard