ACROSS NORTH AMERICA, parents, teachers, coaches, business leaders, and everyone else wants to tell us about a teammate who “leads by example.” We are told, “They prepare as best as they can. They show up every day on time and they stay late. They give 100% and they perform when it’s their time to perform. But they don’t say much. They are quiet. They lead by example.”

Often, after working with these individuals, we were not overly impressed with their leadership abilities. What we typically saw were teammates who met or exceeded the standards at near-superhuman levels. They held themselves to incredibly high standards and then were told that they were thus “leading by example.”

Meanwhile, a teammate right next to them was cutting corners, not working hard, displaying a poor attitude, not meeting any standards of the organization—and they said nothing! Silence is consent. If we say nothing, we are implicitly agreeing with those behaviors.

Wind technicians repair wind turbines that run huge wind farms for renewable energy. These turbines are incredibly powerful and dangerous, so technicians have a checklist to follow to ensure safety. Turbines are repaired in burning heat and frigid cold, in the rain and the mud. Technicians get tired, frustrated, and stressed. They start to rush and don’t follow their safety checklists (a standard). Turbines are also typically located in remote locations far from site managers. Two technicians always work together. If one sees the safety standard not being met and says nothing, that person is silently consenting.

If “leading by example” merely means that we prepare as best as we can, give 100% every day, and perform when it is our time to perform, then there is no true thing as leading by example. When we question clients if they think anyone deserves “special credit” for doing these things, they respond, “No, they are doing their job.” In our vernacular, we call it meeting the standard (if those are standards for your team). Great teammates do it first and we want to recognize them for doing so—just not by telling them that they are “leading by example.” Admittedly, if we can’t meet the standard, we will never be a leader, but we aren’t leading just because we meet or exceed the standards. As leaders and teammates of those individuals, we must recognize them. A team of them would take over the world!

However, the way most parents, teachers, coaches, and business leaders talk about “leading by example,” they are discussing someone who meets the standard and is desperately hoping that their teammates will do so too. Unfortunately, hope is not a strategy. Very few teams, if any, are comprised of individuals who all meet the standards, every day, and in everything they do. Mistakes happen. Det 1 was arguably one of the finest Marine Corps units ever assembled. It was a team of incredibly talented, tough, professional, and dedicated officers and enlisted Marines. There were still instances of standards not being met. A failure to do so, combined with a failure to hold teammates accountable during Det 1’s preparation for Operation Ricochet, had deadly consequences during their execution phase.

The same occurs to our own teams, although thankfully not with such horrifying consequences. The Program is incredibly fortunate and privileged to work with some of the greatest collegiate and professional athletic teams and corporations throughout North America. These teams are filled with exceptionally hard-working, smart, and talented individuals who consistently meet the standards. On those same teams are individuals who do not, and even those who do, get complacent.

A preparation phase rarely has deadly consequences. Prior to the fixing of a turbine or conducting Operation Ricochet, no one dies. The same is true in a figurative sense for athletic teams during practice and pharmaceutical companies prior to launching a new drug. No one suffers life-threatening consequences then. We must never forget, however, that there is always an execution phase, during which Det 1 Marines and wind technicians are horribly injured or worse. Athletes and coaches suffer the pain of losing the game or a disappointing season. Business leaders fall short of their budgetary requirements, people lose their jobs, and companies go out of business. Thankfully, the opposite is true when teammates understand the fallacy of “leading by example.” Instead, by meeting the standards and then holding their teammates accountable to doing so, great teammates ensure those “deadly” consequences never occur and teams accomplish their mission.

Det 1 Assault Team Corpsman Tim Bryan was standing with Jamey in the stack waiting to enter the crisis site. When both the breacher and their other Det 1 teammate were wounded, Doc Bryan immediately told two other Marines to “get out of the stack” in order to help evacuate their wounded comrades. Doc Bryan didn’t just pick up his wounded teammates and hope that other Marines would help as well. He selected two and told them to do so. They did so without hesitation, but they still needed to be told first.

During training, Jamey and his teammates didn’t work hard and then hope that their teammates did as well. They held one another accountable, forced one another out of their comfort zones, and made one another better every single day. Every workout, every high-altitude jump, and every training scenario was debriefed in some form. Individuals took pride in their own performance and even more so in that of their fellow teammates. They made it a habit to tell teammates what they did well, but also what they could do to improve. Because of this, after their initial setback with the failed breach, Det 1 was able to quickly recover their momentum and attack with precision and overwhelming fire superiority, ending in the successful capture of the IED maker.

A world-class soldier, sailor, marine, or airman is one who holds himself or herself to the highest possible standards. The same is true for an athlete, student, or corporate employee. A world-class military, athletic, or corporate team has men and women who do that too, but they also demand and help their teammates to do so, as well.

Stop “leading by example.” Instead, be a great teammate: meet the standards and then demand and help your teammates to do the same.