Action Items on Holding Teammates Accountable

1. Nice is saying hello, please, and thank you. Nice is sitting down with a lonely classmate or co- worker. Be nice!
2. Kind is holding a teammate accountable. We understand that it may hurt their feelings or make them upset at us, but because it will make them (and our team) better, kind people hold teammates accountable. Be nice and kind!
3. Silence is neither being nice nor kind. Silence is consent. We stay silent because we lack moral courage. Don’t! If our teammates (in our school, on the athletic field, in our business, or in our American society) are doing something wrong or falling short of that team’s standards, say something! Have moral courage.
4. When holding a teammate accountable, there is an inverse relationship between level of adversity and tone/volume. Typically, the greater the adversity or stress, the softer the tone and the lower the volume should be to be more effective in ensuring our teammate’s improvement.
5. Be positive and be specific. Telling our teammates specifically what behaviors are helping our team succeed and when they are exhibiting them are as impactful, if not more so, as highlighting what and when they are not.
6. Standardize accountability. Most individuals will not take it upon themselves to hold a teammate accountable. Instead, make it systemic to the organization. Set up a regularly scheduled “washing of the hands” when every member of the team comes prepared with feedback for all other team members and the organization.
7. Do not “lead by example.” Typically, someone who does this is meeting (or exceeding) that organization’s standards. That’s the first standard of being a great teammate. Now, accomplish the second: hold your teammates accountable to doing the same.
8. Be consistent! Hold all teammates—including our best players and highest-grossing salespeople—accountable to meeting the standards. Enforce a consequence. Picking and choosing what standards, when, and with whom to hold accountable will undermine trust among teammates, with team leaders, and throughout the organization. A decrease in performance follows soon after.
9. Friend or teammate? A friend is a good person with whom we enjoy spending our time. It is easy to be a good friend. A teammate meets our organization’s standards and then demands and helps their teammates to do the same. It is challenging to be a great teammate. Accept the challenge and be both!
10. Regardless of how often we may have held a teammate accountable in the past for failing to meet a standard, if it is still not being met, we must do so again and again. And again. Our standards are worn down an inch at a time. The moment we allow someone on our team not to meet the standards, that becomes the new standard. The standard we walk past is the new standard we set.

Saved Rounds on Holding Teammates Accountable

Organizations always talk about what is important. What teams recognize is what actually is important.

Every Sunday morning, in winter, at 7:45 a.m., Eric, his wife Melissa, and their son Axel stop at the Dunkin’ Donuts in their hometown on their way to Axel’s hockey practice. They purchase five chocolate glazed Munchkins. Prior to the start of practice, they review with him how he can “earn” each Munchkin: the first is for continuing to go hard once he becomes tired, the second is for giving his 100% in everything that he does (i.e., sprinting to and from a sip of water during a water break is as important as giving 100% during a drill), the third is for making it fun (not for having fun, but rather for making it fun: it is his job to make it fun, not the coaches’ job for him to have it), and the fourth for saying “please” and “thank you” (for being a gentleman). Right now, they believe these standards reinforce their Core Values of Selflessness, Toughness, and Discipline.

These are also the standards for Axel at football, wrestling, lacrosse, and Ultimate Obstacles, the indoor obstacle course Axel attends while becoming a “ninja.” These are also his standards at guitar practice. Most importantly, they are Team Kapitulik’s standards in school and in life. These need not be the standards for your children, athletes, or corporate teammates. Every leader, every team, and every battlefield is different. What each leader finds important and critical for their team’s ability to consistently accomplish its mission will also be different. Selflessness, Toughness, and Discipline matter for Team Kapitulik. Axel’s willingness to meet those standards that reinforce these Core Values will ensure his and the team’s opportunity to compete for championships and accomplish their own missions on whatever battlefields they choose to compete. Team Kapitulik’s standards may not be right for your team, but something must be. Whatever those things are for your team, clearly define and then recognize them!

On the drive home after practice, Axel will immediately ask if they can “do the donuts.”

Eric pulls the first Munchkin out of the bag and asks Axel what it is for; he responds, “For being tough.” Eric asks him what it means to be tough; he responds, “When you are tired, you keep going . . . and you do it with a good attitude.” Eric then asks Melissa if Axel was tough. She provides feedback to Axel. Eric then asks Axel the same question and gives him an opportunity to tell Eric and his wife if he thought he was tough. Finally, Eric provides a few examples of how he was (or wasn’t) tough. If he was tough, Eric hands him the Munchkin, which Axel promptly eats in one bite. If not tough, Axel doesn’t get the Munchkin. If we “give the Munchkin” every time regardless of whether Axel (or your own teammate) is or isn’t tough, we as the leaders render the reward meaningless. Our children know this. Why do so few parents? ¹

Eric and his wife repeat this process for the next three Munchkins. When they get to the fifth Munchkin, Eric asks Axel what the fifth one is for. He responds without hesitation, “Because my mom and dad love me so much.” Eric explains to Axel that the first four Munchkins make them proud and he must earn that, but the fifth one he will always get, because regardless of who he is or isn’t, regardless of what he does or doesn’t do, his mom and dad will always love him with their whole body and soul.

Next, if Axel wants to talk about his performance, they will talk about how he played, but only if he brings it up. They don’t really care how he plays. They care about how he behaves. Teachers, coaches, and business leaders should care about both. Many do, but unfortunately, many do not. Some care much more about performance than behavior. Even more unfortunate is that in the short term, it can work; we can win a lot of games and even a championship on talent or performance alone. However, to do so on a consistent basis, both must be a priority.

The chance that Axel earns a scholarship to play at the collegiate level is incredibly small. The chance that he earns a living playing a sport that he loves is even smaller. However, he can earn the first four Munchkins every day of his life by just choosing to do so. Talk about what is important to us and therefore important for our organization’s ability to accomplish its mission. However, the team will know that what we recognize is what is important. We must do so as leaders of our teams, but it is even more impactful when our teammates recognize us. In any event, Axel will always get the fifth donut from his parents.

Organizations always talk about what is important. What teams recognize is what is important. Recognize and reward good performance. Recognize and reward good behavior more. And always remember to give a fifth donut. . . .