Values secretly pervade and underpin the whole of our life. Everyone has values that dominate their behaviour and, interestingly, we are hardly conscious of them as our values are the ghosts behind most of our decisions. But it is rare for us, when thinking about options and decisions, to identify them by going through the following process:
Our values guide us to act in a certain way; they are the quiet voice of our conscience.
Until we are aware of our values, we are quite often oblivious as to how deeply they affect our behaviour throughout our lives both at work and at play. One example would be how we respond to the rules which form part of our lives: the laws society expects us to obey, the behaviour expected of us by our family, friends or colleagues.
Rules tell us what to do and direct us in certain behaviours. However, if they are not aligned with our values they become obligations and are liable to be broken, whether from a sense of rebelliousness or simply knowing that you disagree with them. And when rules are broken they are usually enforced by some form of punishment.
As the underlying driver of our behaviour, values have an enormous influence on us in numerous ways, affecting:
- the image of ourselves that we wish to project to the world
- how we make a decision about what is right and what is wrong
- whether or not we feel guilty
- whether or not we will be charitable
- whether or not we like someone
- our choice of partner
- how we rear our children
- our loyalty to individuals and organisations
- where and the way we live
- how we spend our disposable income
- the career we choose
- the sort of organisation we like to work for
- our political allegiance
- what we do with our leisure time
- the things we purchase
- the way we dress
- the TV programmes and films we watch
- the music we listen to
- the material we read.
It may sound contradictory, but we can also have negative values. These are values which encourage us to break the golden rule of treating others as we would wish to be treated ourselves. In this section we will concentrate on the original meaning of ‘value’, with a value being something of worth and accepted by society.
 | ‘I have never been able to separate my personal values from business values. I am mystified by the fact that the business world is apparently proud to be seen as hard and uncaring and detached from human values.’ Anita Roddick, founder of the Body Shop |
A good starting point to become clear about what your values are is to look at how you spend your disposable time and income and ask yourself: ‘Why do I do this? At a deep level, what do I gain from this?’ Obviously when the restraints of life’s handcuffs are off – work, family duties, social requirements, sleep, etc. – then doing what we like in our ‘own’ time must reflect what we enjoy doing, which is driven by our values. So a quick review of your diary and personal expenditure should prove to be a revealing insight into your values.
Remember that each activity could be fulfilling a number of values. Take, for example, making wooden bowls on a lathe, which could satisfy any of the following values:
- It is important to be creative.
- I feel good when I reach a level of adeptness in an art.
- It is important for me to be perfect and making a perfect bowl is a good challenge.
- It is important for me to be generous so I give my bowls away.
- It is important for me to fill my time doing something useful.
- It is important for me to be challenged so I work with different and difficult wood.
- It is important for me to be close to my son and this is something which we can do together.
- It is important for me to win so every year I enter my best bowl in the county show.
- It is important for me to enjoy good health and this provides relief from my stressful job.
- It is important for me to do something which maximises my income from my free time.
Where do values come from?
Not many values are hard-wired, rather they are inculcated by our family, especially our parents, those who are emotionally significant for us at a young age and our social conditioning. Interestingly, our values are formed very early so few of us by the time we are able to drive do not have the value ‘I must not speed’ when driving, for example.
Right or wrong
In an intellectual sense values are neither right nor wrong – they just are. They reflect the sum of the individual’s reflection on their experience as they develop their understanding of life and their world. It is worth noting that it is estimated that in the Western world those under 25 have most of their values shaped by the media, particularly through television. Social networking sites also have a large part to play.
An individual’s values stay with them for life unless they suffer some unfortunate traumatic event. What do you think might have happened to the person who says ‘I trust everyone but I always lock my car’?
Logic and values
What is interesting about our values is that they are not dependent upon logic. Logic helps in giving direction, and in the way we make decisions. Nevertheless, in the end, it is our value system that is our ‘choice compass’ that prompts and guides our decisions. After we make that decision our logic kicks in to justify the choice.
The situation:
Two people, Mr A and Mr B, both want to purchase a car.
The purchasers:
Are the same age, same gender, same background, same education, both married, both in the same job in very similar organisations, and both with the same amount of cash to buy a car, etc. – i.e. identical people in all environmental respects.
Value differences:
Mr A values individualism, independence, competitiveness, excitement and recognition.
Mr B values traditionalism, security, physical comfort, stability and functionality.
Question:
Who would buy the black estate and who would buy the red sports car?
Logic says ‘I need a car for transport’ but individual values will determine the vehicle. However, what is very interesting is the ‘why’ of the purchase. When we are challenged for an explanation of our choice we are all absolute masters at providing irrefutable logical reasoning to justify ourselves. But even so it would be unusual to do this on the basis of our values. Can you imagine hearing someone tell you:
- ‘I bought my sports car because I am an individualist and very competitive, always seeking the excitement that independence brings; besides I like to be noticed.’
or - ‘I bought my estate because a larger car is safer and has a lower insurance rating. It was a good deal and it should hold its value, besides I feel it reflects a certain gravitas and stability.’
But once you understand how your values are driving your behaviour you have access to a new level of control and a powerful way of making choices about what you are doing and how you are doing it.
Values at work
Organisations also have values and, for your sense of job satisfaction, it is absolutely vital that your values are aligned with your company.
You can easily spot if this isn’t the case. If you are in a position where you have the right skill set and are well remunerated but also suffer from a high level of stress and stress-related illnesses such as back pain, stomach upset, fatigue, skin problems and high blood pressure then you are probably working for a company that does not share your values.
On the other hand, if your values are in sync you will find your levels of job satisfaction and performance soar and you will be in a great position for the opportunities available to you within that company.
In the same way that you can uncover your personal values through looking at how you use your income and time, a company’s values can be uncovered by looking at its website. This is an important exercise to complete when you are thinking about your next job. If you don’t, you may find yourself out of the frying pan and into the fire. Most companies publish their values on their websites and/or in their annual reports. With a little digging you could find the information you need.
Here are some examples of company values:
Sometimes you get a clever acronym. My local hospital has STRIVE which stands for:
Service, Teamwork, Respect, Integrity, Validity, Excellence.
You might think that these are all ‘fat’ words and far too general, but they give you an idea of what company values, broadly speaking, may be. Of course what organisations say and what they do (remember Enron in the US and Barclays in the UK) can be very different. Now to some activity work to discover what our values may be.
Discovering your values
Look at the list below and consider which values are important to you:
Advancement
Aesthetics
Achievement
Appreciation
Beauty
Challenges
Change
Choice
Community
Competition
Culture
Decision sharing
Determination
Direction
Education
Effort
Enjoyment
Enthusiasm
Excitement
Fame
Fairness
Fashion
Fixed rules
Flexibility
Freedom
Friendship
Fun
Functionality
Generosity
Glamour
High earnings
Independence
Individual reward
Innovation
Justice
Knowledge
Kudos
Leadership
Learning
Opportunity
Options
Permanence
Personal growth
Physical comfort
Planning
Pleasure
Power
Pragmatism
Precision
Professionalism
Quality
Recognition
Reflection
Reputation
Rewards
Riches
Rigour
Risk
Routines
Security
Serenity
Service
Simplicity
Sincerity
Sophistication
Spirituality
Stability
Status
Structure
Thinking
Tradition
Trust
Understanding
Variety
Vision
Work
From this list choose your five most important values and rank them in order:
1st _________________________
2nd _________________________
3rd _________________________
4th _________________________
5th _________________________
If you have a value which is not on the list above and is in your top five then please add it to your rankings.
The either or activity
You might think this activity is a bit frivolous but it’s a great way to release your subconscious mind so that, as you work through it, your values will begin to surface. You can do this by yourself, but it’s much more fun to turn it into a ‘game’ with two or three friends.
Instructions
Circle a word from each word pair below that you feel or think is more like you most of the time. There are no right or wrong answers. Complete the list of 20 as quickly as possible. Once you have finished, if you are doing this with someone else, wait for the other person to finish their list.
The list
Preface the following word pairs with ‘Are you ...’:
And now ...
The purpose of this activity is to dig down into the deep values that are motivating your life: your core values. To do this we are going to use the laddering technique (see Chapter 5). For each word you have identified ask ‘Why is this important?’ and for every answer keep asking ‘Why?’ until you reach the point of saying ‘Because it is’. Then you’ll have found a core value. For example:
 | Dictionary or thesaurus? |
 | Thesaurus. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because I like to extend my vocabulary by seeing which other words mean the same thing. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because it’s fun to play around with words and see how different synonyms affect a sentence. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because I enjoy using words and increasing my knowledge of them. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because it can change the way you look at things. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because things can become more interesting if you at look them from different angles. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because it keeps life fresh and exciting and open to new possibilities. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because otherwise we stagnate. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because life is too precious to stagnate. |
| Why is that important? |
| Because it just is. |
So here the over-arching value is: life should be a journey of continuous learning and personal development.
Notice the ‘should’ in the concluding statement: most values are expressed in modal verbs of obligation such as ‘should’, ‘must’ and ‘ought’. When you catch yourself saying, ‘I should/must/ ought’ then beneath that statement lies a value.
If you worked on the above activity in pairs you will find dramatic differences in the core values underpinning your choices, even if you chose the same word pairs initially.
Proverb confusion
In the following pairs of proverbs, in most cases one counteracts the other. Select which of each pair resonates more for you. As with the activity before, it is best to do this quickly.
Having selected 10 proverbs, what might this suggest about your values? For example: ‘Haste makes waste’ could have several meanings such as ‘I must be cautious and not take risks’ or ‘I must be determined and persistent.’ Use laddering to reveal the value in more specific terms.
When you have completed these activities, reflect on your thoughts and then rank order your seven most important values.
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
- ____________________________________________
Questions of discovery
Now you are in a position to ask yourself the following questions:
- If these are my values how have they influenced the decisions I have made in my life so far and what are the possible implications for the future?
- How can I use the knowledge of my values in future, especially when making major life decisions?
- Have I been conscious of these values in the way they may have shaped my life?
- Have those decisions been satisfactory?
- What are my learning points here?
- Should I rethink my values, re-rank them or change them for the future regarding what I want to achieve?
| ‘I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.’ Eleanor Roosevelt, civil rights advocate |
| ‘Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.’ Albert Einstein, physicist |
- We will always have values so it’s important to recognise them as the foundation supporting most of our decisions.
- We become stronger and more integrated when we are aware of our values, helping us to avoid knee-jerk decision making.
- Recognising that values can be different to our own enables us to understand people better, improve our emotional intelligence and anticipate the decisions they might make.
- Most great figures (past or present) have stuck to their values and that is what has helped make them successful – Boudicca, Martin Luther King, Thomas Paine, Florence Nightingale, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Anita Roddick, for example.