Do you remember when you got something wrong at school and had do it again and again and again until you got it right? My personal purgatory was spelling.
It always has been, even at university. Finally my dean sent me off to an educational psychologist who, after several tests, was very flattering about my IQ but derogatory about my spelling, reporting to the dean that I had a spelling age of a 13-year-old.
Not much has changed during my career and I must have ruined the spelling of at least three PAs.
Repeating all of those spelling lists again and again was like pushing a rock up a mountain: impossible! ‘Impossible’ was reputed not to be a word in Napoleon Bonaparte‘s ‘dictionary’ but, as far as spelling goes, it is in mine. Why all this personal disclosure? Because in life more attention is given to our inadequacies, blind spots, hiccups, boo-boos, opportunities, challenges and a legion of other disguises which all stand for weaknesses and/or errors.
The word ‘criticism’ originated from the Greek 
meaning judgement of whether something is right or wrong, with the emphasis often on the latter. Sadly, all too often there is a strong cultural proclivity to find what is wrong in something or someone rather than finding what is right and discovering their strengths. We also have a temptation to give up on something because we accept our own limitations and say to ourselves ‘I can’t do that because I’m ...’
 | ‘Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours.’ Richard Bach, author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull |
During the latter part of the last century there was a huge emphasis, mainly in America, on being a ‘winner’. This was hammered home by fire-and-brimstone motivational speakers preaching the mantra that it was possible to achieve whatever you wanted, all you had to do was to be highly motivated, totally committed, work on it 24/7 and overcome every obstacle no matter what. Such erroneous preaching did more harm than good.
Thankfully sanity has returned now it has been realised that hard work, commitment, etc. is no match for raw talent plus hard work. We’ve also realised that it’s not possible to achieve everything you want, and nor should it be. We can, however, achieve far more when we concentrate on our strengths, talents and competences. Here are some famous examples:
- Richard Branson as a teenager was selling budgerigars that he had bred and Christmas trees. At the age of 20 he was selling mail-order records, at 22 he built a recording studio and at 27 headed the sixth largest record company in the world. This was achieved through entrepreneurial talent and effort which has continued throughout his life and resulted in a billion-dollar fortune. I’m sure there were many contemporaries of Sir Richard at Stowe School, just as clever, just as hard working, but, without that entrepreneurial talent, they were unlikely to have done quite so well.
- Philip Green shares a similar story. He started in retail at 15, pulled off a fantastic deal at 22 importing jeans, then, with friends, bought a company for a song that was £30 million in debt to be sold within three years for £550 million. I am sure there were many just as clever, just as hard-working contemporaries of Sir Philip at Carmel College, but, without that entrepreneurial talent ...
When the verger of St Martin’s Church retired, Tom, who worked in the village newsagents, asked the vicar if he could be considered for the position, only to be told that, as he couldn’t read or write, he couldn’t be an applicant.
Although Tom could not read or write, he was very popular and exceptional at sales. Some years later, Tom had saved enough to buy a little shop of his own. He was so successful that he bought the newsagents where he originally worked. That too went well. Before long, through continual hard work and his retail skills, and some significant acquisitions, Tom became a very successful retailer with a national chain of shops.
Tom was a real benefactor of children’s charities both here and abroad. His generosity was so well known that he was invited to be interviewed by Michael Parkinson. About halfway through the interview Parkie asked Tom, ‘Now is there anything unusual about you that we don’t know?’ Tom sheepishly replied, ‘Well actually I can’t read or write.’
‘What,’ said Parkie ‘a retail legend such as yourself cannot read or write?!’ Just think what you could have done if you could read or write!’ ‘Yes,’ replied Tom humbly, ‘I would have been the verger of St Martins.’
Many people work hard, but not to their strengths.
Assessing your strengths
The following activity takes courage!
Look at the list below and select the 10 attributes that reflect your strengths. Then rank them in terms of importance. This is the easy part. Then give the list to someone who knows you well and whose views you respect and ask them to select and rank these items as if they were you!
Accepting
Acumen
Adaptability
Ambition
Astuteness
Authenticity
Balanced
Brave
Bright
Buoyant
Calmness
Charisma
Charm
Consciousness
Cheerfulness
Commitment
Confidence
Compassion
Conscientious
Courage
Courteousness
Creativity
Dedication
Determination
Diplomacy
Discretion
Drive
Empathy
Endurance
Energy
Enthusiasm
Expressivity
Faithfulness
Flexibility
Genuineness
Good fortune
Good judgement
Goal orientation
Good social skills
Generosity
Grace
Gregariousness
Hard working
Humility
Humour
Ideals
Imaginative
Independence
Individuality
Influence
Insight
Integrity
Intelligence
Knowledgeable
Leadership
Loyalty
Maturity
Modesty
Objectivity
Opportunism
Originality
Patience
Passion
Poise
Principled
Proactive
Prudence
Realistic
Resilience
Reliability
Responsible
Self-control
Serenity
Self-confidence
Self-discipline
Selflessness
Sincerity
Sophistication
Spirituality
Style
Understanding
Verve
Vibrancy
Vision
Vitality
Warmness
Willpower
Wisdom
Zeal
I am confident that I have and can demonstrate to the world the following strengths, in rank order, with my dominant strength first:
1st ___________________________________________
2nd ___________________________________________
3rd ___________________________________________
4th ___________________________________________
5th ___________________________________________
6th ___________________________________________
7th ___________________________________________
8th ___________________________________________
9th ___________________________________________
10th __________________________________________
Next, against each strength above, provide an example of an achievement – as recent as possible – that would justify your claim that you have this strength/talent.
Now it’s your friend’s turn.
My confidant/colleague/friend thinks that I have and demonstrate to the world:
1st ___________________________________________
2nd ___________________________________________
3rd ___________________________________________
4th ___________________________________________
5th ___________________________________________
6th ___________________________________________
7th ___________________________________________
8th ___________________________________________
9th ___________________________________________
10th __________________________________________
Now comes the fun feedback part. Discuss any similarities/differences between your views about yourself and those of your confidant/colleague/ friend.
Let’s see how realistic you have been in making an assessment of yourself:
- What has been confirmed?
- What has taken you by surprise?
- How might any differences have come about?
- Should you/could you do anything about the differences?
- How has this activity improved your understanding of yourself?
Now do some work on the major question: how will you play to your strengths in the future?
Strengths from the animal kingdom
Here is another somewhat frivolous activity which is both fun and revealing.
With your partner or a longstanding friend who knows you well, choose an animal (bird, reptile, fish, insect or mammal) that you think could represent you. Your partner or friend does the same, again as if they were you.
List down adjectives that your animal represents, for example:
- Dog: faithful, friendly, positive, persistent, intelligent, inquisitive, etc.
- Eagle: powerful, flies above things, top of the food chain, individual rather than one of a flock, etc.
- Dolphin: intelligent, fun, friendly, fast, etc.
- Domestic cat: independent, curious, playful, can fall asleep anywhere and any time, does not have a master but has servants
- Owl: wise, mature, reflective.
Now the fun starts. See if your partner/friend has the same animal and what adjectives they would ascribe to their choice.
| ‘When restraint and courtesy are added to strength, the latter becomes irresistible.’ Mahatma Gandhi, civil rights leader and politician |
| ‘Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength can be a true master.’ Albert Einstein |
And to show that I cannot be serious all the time:
| ‘Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bath.’ Erma Bombeck, American humourist |
- The purpose of the activities in this chapter has been to encourage you to identify your strengths so you can play to them as much as possible. No one can be good at everything.
- Consider this: what is common in the following famous people – Agatha Christie, Hans Christian Andersen, and two of my favourite people, Richard Branson and Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci? Answer: strangely enough they were, or are all, dyslexics who played to their strengths. I wonder what would have happened if they had to take an English exam as an entrance qualification for their profession.