INDEX
Accidental Genius (Levy), 108
Action steps:
Attention Grabbers, 27, 29, 32, 34, 36
decision making, 202, 205, 210–211
emotional engagement, 42–43, 47–48, 51
establishing credibility, 57–58, 60, 63–64, 67–68
giving value, 105–107, 113–114
making the right connections, 6–7, 11–12, 16, 19
reciprocity, 161–162, 165, 167, 170–171, 175–176
social proof, 141–142, 146–149, 152, 154–155
stimulating discussion, 116, 119–121, 124–125, 129, 133
Affect, stimulating discussion, 116, 121–125
Ambivalence or objections, resolving with social proof, 149–152
Approach, conversation initiation, 17
Attention Grabbers, 21–36
action steps, 27, 29, 32, 34, 36
emotion, 34–36
how attention works, 22–23
meaning, 29–32
relevance and clarity, 32–34
unexpected elements, 27–29
visual imagery, 23–27
Attentional adhesions, 24
Attractiveness in visual imagery, 24–26
The Attractor Factor (Vitale), 158
Attrition effects, choices and options, 192–193
Audience:
establishing credibility, 58–60
simple, stimulating discussion, 130
Authenticity:
behavior and emotional engagement, 40
and reciprocity, 158–162
Automated content, generating, 107–114
action steps, 113–114
e-mails, 111–112
quick content, 109–111
unique content, 108–109
Back, Kurt, 93
Background story, storytelling, 46–47
Balance, metaphors and emotion, 49
Bartlett, Monica Y., 171
Behavior:
and emotional engagement, 41
enhancing outcomes, social proof, 153
to evoke positive emotions, 39–42
Book Yourself Solid (Port), xxiv, 17, 167
Bottom-line business needs, need fulfillment, 12
Boyatzis, Richard E., 38
Brain:
attention, 22–23
emotion, 34–35
response to experts, 65
visual stimulation, 23
Brand credibility, 60–64
Break up information, memorability, 79
Brogan, Chris, 58
Brooks, Margaret E., 94
Brumbaugh, Claudia, 24
Building relationships:
art and science of connecting, xx–xxi
being the best and taking action, xxiii–xxv
challenges in relationship marketing, xxi–xxiii
joy of, xiv–xv
power of, xix–xx
simplicity and memorability, 76–77
Buschman, Timothy J., 22
Business relationships (See specific topics)
Buying specifics, choices, 182–183
Calculating behavior and emotional engagement, 40
“Can I Pick Your Brain” professional, 97–98
Can’t Take My Eyes off You (Wood and Brumbaugh), 24
Chapman, Gary, 99
Characteristics of truster/trustee, 91–92
Chatting, openings and reciprocity, 162–164
Chernov, Alexander, 191
Choices and options, simplify, 185–196
contextual inference theory, 190–191
ideal point, 191–192
making it easy to choose you, 194–195
metacognitions, 193–194
obvious vs. unclear differences, 187–188
one vs. several, 186
selecting the middle options, 193
time to make decision, 186–187, 205–211
trade-offs and attrition effects, 192–193
verbal vs. visual, 188
Chunking, 79
Cialdini, Robert B., 64, 139–140, 153, 169
Clarity (See Relevance)
Clients (See specific topics)
Clothing, professional, 24–26
Communication, nonverbal, xx, 35
Compliments and concessions, 168–171
Confidence building, 5–7
The Confident Leader (McKee), 38
Confident leadership, 162
Conflict of interest, choices, 181
Connections:
action steps, 6–7, 11–12, 16, 19
confidence building, 5–7
conversation initiation, 16–19
finding the right people, 8–12
listening to become fluent, giving value, 100, 103–104
love language, 100
make the right, 3–19
metaphors and emotion, 49
need fulfillment, 12–16
reasons for difficulty, 4–7
Contact methods, follow-up magic recipe system, 88–89
Contagious, emotions as, 38
Container, metaphors and emotion, 49
Content, generating, 107–114
Contextual inference theory, 190–191
Control, metaphors and emotion, 49
Conversation:
initiation, 16–19, 162–164, 206–208
simple stimulating, 130–131
Credibility, establishing, 53–68
action steps, 57–58, 60, 63–64, 67–68
audience, 58–60
authenticity and brand consistency, 61
brand, 60–64
earned, 55
expertise, 64–68
factors of, 54–58
Web, 55–60
Cued recall, 75
Curiosity and emotional engagement, 40
Davis, James H., 92
Decision making, 197–212
action steps, 202, 205, 210–211
finding the right people, 10–11
heart vs. head, 198–202
simple vs. complex decisions, 203–205
DeSteno, David, 171
Dijksterhuis, Ap, 203
Discovering needs, need fulfillment, 12–13
Discussion, stimulating, 115–133
action steps, 116, 119–121, 124–125, 129, 133
EARS, 116
engaging, 116–121
Dolinski, Dariuz, 163
Dress, professional, 24–26
Earned credibility, 55
Earnings per hour, choices, 182
EARS:
defined, 116
engaging, 116–121
8minuteDating, 39
E-mails, 111–112
Emotions and emotional engagement, 34–52
action steps, 42–43, 47–48, 51
affect, stimulating discussion, 121–124
Attention Grabbers, 34–36
evoking positive emotions, 38–43
metaphors, 48–52
need fulfillment, 12
sound of your brand, 43–44
storytelling, 45–48
and trust, 93
Encoding new information, memorability, 72
Engaging, stimulating discussion, 116–121
Enhancing outcomes, social proof, 152–155
Expertise and credibility, 64–68
Experts and credibility, 58–59
Extroversion, confidence building, 5
Facebook, 9, 63, 88–89, 106, 115–118, 121, 128, 141, 147–148, 158, 161, 187
Faces, 30–31
Familiarity and trust, 93–95
Favorite things, client’s, 100, 105
Favors, gratitude and reciprocity, 172–174
Fear of the unknown, choices, 181
Fedorikhin, Alexander, 208
Festinger, Leon, 138
Finding the right people, 8–12
Five love languages, giving value, 99–102
The Five Love Languages (Chapman), 99
Focus:
Decision making, 208–210
emotional engagement, 41
and motivation, follow-up, 96–98
Fogg, B.J., 54
Follow first, reciprocity, 158–159
Follow-up and consistency, 83–98
action steps, 85–86, 90, 95–96
challenge of, 84–86
confidence building, 5
focus and motivation, 96–98
magic recipe system, 86–90
trust factor, 91–96
Formula for marketing success, xxiv
Free recall, 75
Friendliness, and emotional engagement, 39–40
Get to the point, openings, 164
Getting recognized, memorability, 81–82
Gifts, reciprocity, 160–161
Giving back, reciprocity, 176
Giving too much away, reciprocity, 165–167
Go first, memorability, 79
Goals, social proof, 152–153
Godin, Seth, 88
Goei, Ryan, 172
Goldstein, Noah, 139–140
Goleman, Daniel, 38
Gratitude and reciprocity, 171–176
Griskevicius, Vladas, 139–140
Guarded behavior, emotional engagement, 41
Habituation, and unexpected elements, 28
Hairstyle for headshot, 24–25
Halligan, Brian, 176
Hamilton, Rebecca, 204
Happiness, decision making, 199–200
Harvard Business Review, 91
Headshots, 24–26
Hearing:
sound of your brand, emotional engagement, 43–44
Heart vs. head, decision making, 198–202
Hedgcock, William, 192
Highhouse, Scott, 94
Hip-pocket stories, 144–145
Hogan, Kevin, 14
Hotel guests, social proof, 139–141
Hovland, Carl, 54
Hurley, Robert F., 91
Ideal point, options, 191–192
“I’m So Swamped” professional, 97
Immediate, emotions as, 39
Influence (Cialdini), 169
Influence, gratitude and reciprocity, 172–174
Influencers, 10
Influencing people in relationships:
decision making and action, 197–212
reciprocity, 157–176
simplify, 177–196
social proof, 137–155
Information, remembering, 72–75, 79
Initiating relationships:
Attention Grabber, 21–36
connections, make the right, 3–19
credibility, establishing, 53–68
emotional engagement, 37–52
Initiation of conversation, 16–19, 162–164, 206–208
Intellectual needs, fulfillment, 12
Interest, expressing, and emotional engagement, 40
Introduction, conversation initiation, 17
Introversion, confidence building, 5
Israel, Toby, 62
Janis, Irving, 54
Johnson, Sue, 12
Journey, metaphors and emotion, 49
Kahneman, Daniel, 182
Kamenica, Emir, 190
Kelley, Harold, 54
Lead with benefit, choices, 182
Lepper, Mark R., 178
Likeability, advertisements, 37
Limited options, 179–183
Lindgard, Gitte, 55
LinkedIn, 89, 125, 148, 161, 174, 195
Listening:
to become fluent, giving value, 102–107
and emotional engagement, 41
Long-term memory, 72–73
Magic recipe system for follow-up, 86–90
Marketing funnel and audience, 86–87
Marketing Lessons from the Grateful Dead (Scott and Halligan), 176
Marketing Metaphoria (Zaltman and Zaltman), 48
Marketing success, formula for, xxiv
Mattus, Maria, 55
Mayer, Roger C., 92
McCullough, Michael, 171
McGuire, William, 38
McKee, Annie, 38
Meaning, Attention Grabbers, 29–32
Meaningful relationships, creating:
discussion, stimulating, 115–133
follow-up and consistency, 83–98
memorability, 71–82
value, giving, 99–114
Memorability, 71–82
encoding new information, 72
faces, and names, 30
getting recognized, 81–82
how memory works, 72–76
making yourself memorable, 76–80
retrieving information, 74–75
storing new information, 73–74
Metacognition, choices and options, 193–194
Metaphors, emotional engagement, 48–52
Miller, Earl K., 22
Myers-Briggs personality inventory, 62
Name, power of using, 30–31
National Institute for Drug Abuse, 153
Nawrat, Magdalena, 163
Need fulfillment, 12–16
Networking, events and personal, 8–10
New information, 72–74
Nonreciprocator professional, 97
Nonverbal communication, xx, 35
Norms (See Social proof)
Number of relationships, optimal, 9–10
Numbers on social media, social proof, 147–149
Obvious vs. unclear differences, choices, 187–188
One Lily Creative Agency, 55
One vs. several choices, 186
Openings and reciprocity, 162–165
Overanalysis and unhappiness, decision making, 200–201
Patience, follow-up, 98
Permission Marketing (Godin), 88
Personal networks, 9–10
Personalization, magic recipe system for follow-up, 86–90
Persuasion, reciprocity, 159–160
Photographic headshots, 24–26
Positive emotions, 38–43
(See also Emotions and emotional engagement)
Presumed credibility, 54
Pretending to understand, emotional engagement, 42
Primal Leadership (Goleman et al), 38
Professionalism:
and emotional engagement, 40
experts, 66–67
relatable, stimulating discussion, 126–127
Propinquity, and trust, 93–95
Psychological reactance, decision making, 209
The Psychology of Influence (Hogan), 14
Psychology Today, 18
Quantity vs. quality, social proof, 147–148
Questions:
engaging, stimulating discussion, 119
resolving with social proof, 151–152
Quick content, generating, 109–111
Rao, Akshay R., 192
Rapport, 18–19
Readiness to buy, 183–184
Reasons:
for difficulty, make the right connections, 4–7
people buy, 178–185
Recall memory, 74–75
Reciprocity, 157–176
action steps, 161–162, 165, 167, 170–171, 175–176
authenticity, 158–162
compliments, 168–169
concessions, 169–171
giving back, 176
giving too much away, 165–167
gratitude, 171–176
openings, 162–165
Recognition and memorability, 81–82
Recognition memory, 74–75, 81–82
Referral partners (See specific topics)
Referrals:
finding the right people, 8–12
getting, love language, 100
listening to become fluent, giving value, 100, 102–103
readiness to buy, 183–184
Regan, Dennis, 157
Relatable, stimulating discussion, 116, 125–129
Relationships (See specific topics)
Relevance:
Attention Grabbers, 32–34
confidence building, 5
remind people of themselves, 77–78
Relevant, little gifts as, 161
Remembering (See Memorability)
Remind people of themselves, memorability, 77–78
Reputed credibility, 55
Resist perfection, relatability, 125–126
Resource, metaphors and emotion, 49
Retrieving information, memorability, 74–75
Rudak, Izabela, 163
Scarce, little gifts as, 160
Schachter, Stanley, 93
Schemas for stimulating discussion, 131–133
Schooler, Jonathan W., 200–201
Schoorman, F. David, 92
Schweitzer, Maurice E., 93, 172
Scott, David Meerman, 176
Selecting the middle options, 193
Self-serving, and emotional engagement, 40
Serial positioning effect, 79
Share mistakes, 125–126
Shine the spotlight, social proof, 153–154
Shiv, Baba, 208
Short-term memory, 72–73
Similarities:
gratitude and reciprocity, 174–175
need fulfillment, 13–14
social proof, 141–147
Simplicity, 177–196
action steps, 184–185, 189, 195–196
choices, 185–189
simple vs. complex decisions, 203–205
stimulating discussion, 116, 130–133
which options will people choose?, 189–196
why people buy, 178–185
Smith, Adam, 171
Smith, Julien, 58
Social media, 3, 23–24, 26–28, 45, 55, 63–64, 88, 116–117, 119, 126, 129, 148, 158, 161, 170, 182
Social media, social proof, 147–149
Social proof, 137–155
action steps, 141–142, 146–149, 152, 154–155
enhancing outcomes, 152–155
numbers on social media, 147–149
to resolve ambivalence or objections, 149–152
similarities, 141–147
who is most influential?, 138–142
Some Place Like Home (Israel), 62
Sound of your brand, emotional engagement, 43–44
Specificity, why people buy, 179–183
Stand out, memorability, 78–79
Stanford Persuasive Technology Lab, 55, 58
Stories of similarities, social proof, 144–145
Storing new information, memorability, 73–74
Storytelling, emotional engagement, 45–48
Surface credibility, 55
Target audience, social proof, 141
Testimonials, social proof, 143–144
Thinking about it, decision-making, 206
Thompson, Deborah Viana, 204
Thoughtful, little gifts as, 161
Time and timing:
decision making, 186–187, 205–211
listening to become fluent, 100, 103
magic recipe system for follow-up, 86–90
Trade-offs and attrition effects, choices and options, 192–193
Transformation, metaphors and emotion, 49
Trust factors, follow-up, 91–96
Trying too hard, and emotional engagement, 41
Tversky, Amos, 182
Twitter, 58, 63, 88–89, 129, 147, 161, 185
Unexpected elements, Attention Grabbers, 27–29
Unique content, 108–109
Universal and relatable, stimulating discussion, 128–129
Value, giving, 99–114
action steps, 105–107, 113–114
five love languages, 99–102
generating automated content, 107–114
listening to become fluent, 102–107
magic recipe system for follow-up, 86–90
Vanguard Center for Retirement Research, 191
Verbal choices, 188
Verbal vs. visual, choices, 188
Viral gratitude and reciprocity, 171–172
Visual(s):
engaging, stimulating discussion, 117–118
imagery and establishing credibility, 62–63
similarities, social proof, 145–146
vs. verbal, choices, 188
Vitale, Joe, 158
Von Restorff effect, 78
Web, credibility on, 55–60
What you do, conversation initiation, 17–18
Who do I need? need fulfillment, 14–15
Who is most influential? social proof, 138–142
Who needs you? need fulfillment, 15–16
Why people buy, simplify, 178–185
Wilson, Timothy D., 200–201
Wood, Dustin, 24
Working memory, 72–73
Yerkes-Dodson Law, 10
Zaltman, Gerald and Lindsay, 48
Zimbardo, Philip, 64–65