Chapter 7
Prioritize One-on-Ones
This chapter begins with a simple but profound lesson:
You can verify this insight by thinking about your life experience. This is how mentoring works. This is how sales are closed. Think about the last conference you attended. Did you derive more value from the keynotes and breakouts or from one-on-one conversations with the people you met at the conference? Think about how things get done in your organization or in your life. In your experience, do you get better results and get them faster from one-on-one conversations or from group meetings?
We invite you to review how much one-on-one time you are investing with the people you manage. And most important, we invite you to review with whom you are investing this time. Are you investing enough one-on-one time with your direct reports? With top performers? With others who are important to the organization?
Unfortunately, most of us are too busy to rely on happenstance to present enough one-on-one opportunities. We have to be more intentional. We have to schedule them. Changing your routine in this way might require you to eliminate some activities to make time in your schedule for one-on-one meetings.
Here is the payoff, though. You powerfully demonstrate to the other person that he or she is significant to you, you enrich your relationship, you enhance engagement, you learn more about people's individual aspirations and needs, you move initiatives forward, and you achieve better alignment. What's not to like?
Here are some research-based answers to questions managers often ask about one-on-ones based, in part, on data collected by The Ken Blanchard Companies.1
How Frequently Should You Meet?
You will hit the mark for the majority of people with monthly one-on-ones—89 percent of people want to meet with their manager at least once a month. But only 73 percent actually get a monthly one-on-one. Of course, you should be sensitive to individual differences—44 percent of people want to meet once a week or more (and only 34 percent of people actually do).
In thinking about the frequency, remember that some of these meetings will be canceled for a variety of very good reasons. Make sure you do not go more than 90 days without a one-on-one.
How Long Should Those Meetings Last?
Most people (65 percent) just need 30 minutes to an hour. About 25 percent are happy with 30 minutes or less, and only 10 percent want more than an hour. Again, it is important to individualize. But nobody needs your whole day.
What Should You Discuss in These Meetings…And Who Should Decide?
The majority of people (69 percent) want to take responsibility for setting the agenda. For the remaining 31 percent, it is critical to ask the kinds of questions that ensure you meet their individual needs in a one-on-one session.
Here are some key takeaways on how people want to allocate time in one-on-one conversations with their managers:
- People want to spend a lot more time than they actually do in one-on-one conversations about goal setting, goal review, performance feedback, problem solving, and soliciting specific support. The bad news: 28 percent rarely or never have goal-setting conversations with their managers and 36 percent rarely or never have performance feedback conversations. Don't be that manager.
- Only 5 percent of people want to discuss personal issues “often” or “all the time.” We want to clarify that our interpretation of this is not that people do not want a personal connection with you. In the ideal relationship, conversations about life outside work happen spontaneously. But when you are in a scheduled one-on-one meeting, most of the people on your team want to spend that valuable time with you discussing all the other issues that affect their performance, professional growth, and contribution to the success of the business. While it is critically important to be responsive and supportive when people reach out for support on personal issues, it is likely to remain rare in the context of business-focused one-on-ones.
The survey results discussed here reveal some trends, but there is absolutely no substitute for asking each person on your team what they need and want.
Remember: The Goldilocks Zone is going to be different for each person.
As a manager, your time is precious. How can you prioritize one-on-ones without letting them blow up your schedule? Here are some suggestions:
- Proactively schedule one-on-ones and make them a “rock” in both people's schedules.
- When changes to scheduled one-on-ones must be made, reschedule immediately.
- Walk around, pop in to people's offices without an agenda, and have a real open-door policy (if your door is open, it is not an interruption for someone to come in).
If one-on-one meetings are new for you (and even if they are not), you might find the next experiment using the Career Investment Discussion (CID) to be a helpful resource in sparking the kind of productive discussion that only happens when you ask open-ended questions.
The CID is a specific type of one-on-one meeting. Conversations between leaders and direct reports are frequently about what the leader wants from that person or some comment on that person's performance. By contrast, a CID is a series of questions that enables managers to discover how they can improve their contributions to the success and growth of their direct reports. This kind of interaction also contributes enormously to a person's sense of significance.
Undoubtedly, you will think of additional questions that are valuable in your unique situation. Questions will be most effective when they are open ended and push people beyond yes-or-no responses.
There is a secret to getting the most out of a CID and it is also a lesson:
Just like the Focus On You, the CID is not a magic bullet. It is a tool you can use to enhance the impact of the time you regularly invest in one-on-ones with the people on your team. But never use it as a standalone or as a substitute for doing the dailies. Remember, your daily interactions matter most. When, in the course of your daily interactions with people, you are consistently accepting them as they are, making them feel significant, and prioritizing one-on-one time with them, you will naturally increase their happiness, enhance their engagement, grow their loyalty to your leadership, and cement their commitment to your organization.