No human being ever actualizes his or her full potential outside of the right relationships. Parenting, mentoring, and coaching exemplify the kinds of relationships that can help shape a person and lead to significant growth. So how does self-development fit in?

Each of us matures at our own pace. But whatever the pace, as we mature, we assume more and more responsibility for the outcomes in our lives. Younger or less experienced people often benefit from the mentoring and coaching of people who see their potential and decide to invest in it. By the time you are an adult, you should assume some responsibility for investing in your own potential. Mentors and others can help you with this, but you must be an active participant in the process. For example:

1. A mentor can get you involved with a variety of activities and assignments to help you discover your aptitudes and interests. But you must enthusiastically engage.
2. A mentor can ask what you are passionate about and can help you pursue those passions in ways that contribute to your growth. But your passions must arise from your heart. Your mentor is not responsible for installing them.
3. A mentor can help you ideate about various career arcs, but you must own your goals and your path.
4. A mentor may see something in you and choose to invest. But, as you mature, your responsibility increases for seeing something you can learn from a mentor and initiating that relationship yourself.

Mentors exert a great influence on their mentees. But influence is not ownership. At some point in your journey, you should assume the responsibility for your development. You should articulate a vision for your future. You should be clear about your values and goals. Mentors and others can help, but you have to own it. The final decisions are ultimately yours.

With regard to self-development, what's in it for you? Nothing more or less than taking charge of your future.

Through this journey, you can gain a more profound understanding of your values, commitments, and personal mission in the world. You can gain insights about how to align your strengths, your passions, and your aspirations. After creating your own blueprint, you can ask your mentor or supervisor, “Will you support this plan? How can we improve it? Is there anything else I need to think about?” Then you will be leading your own development.

The following chapters will help you take charge of your own development and thus empower you to continuously increase the difference you are making in the lives of others.