What is managing to make a difference? Ask the next five people you see to tell you about a manager who made a difference in their lives, and see what you hear. Here are some responses we got when we asked that question:

“She was supportive and highly in tune with my strengths. She consistently looked for ways to maximize my potential, always recognized my work, and helped me realize how much value I added to the organization. She was a mentor and coach but, most importantly, a friend.”

—Jess Karo describing her manager, Trisha Berry

“I had a manager on the police department who would inspire us before the DWI detail we had every year during the month of December. He would plan a theme for the month. His squad was called the South West Weasels. The first year was ‘Weasels in Wonderland.’ He brought New Year's confetti poppers and sparkling grape juice to our kickoff. We drank to our success and sang songs. (Think of that—45 macho cops singing together!) He would then carefully assign people to various job tasks. The traffic oriented cops went out to stop cars. The more warm and fuzzy cops took calls for service. The burly ones were assigned to break up wild parties. Everyone was assigned to the jobs they were most successful at and gravitated toward. Job satisfaction was very high, and he played to people's strengths. Plus, everyone knew Mike had our back. No other brass would mess with Mike's squad. He was supportive, empathetic, the most creative person I have ever met, and he was all about our success and development. Additionally, he was a great resource and one of the best police officers I had ever seen. When I got promoted to Sergeant he mentored me. The first thing he told me was, ‘Always come down on the side of your cops. No one else will stick up for them so you have to. They always get the benefit of the doubt.’ Words cannot convey how formative he was for me.”

—Kent Woodhead describing his manager, Mike Siefkes

“I would thank her for being a positive moving force in my life. Our days would get very busy, and she worked alongside us to ensure we all met the goal together as one team. My manager was appreciative, supportive, gracious, and a dear friend. We don't work together anymore and I wish we did. Still friends today, she continues to shape my life and future for good.”

—Makenzie Rath describing her manager, Renuka Ramanathan

“He had two main gifts: seeing gifts in people that they didn't even know were there (and encouraging them to use those gifts!), and having a clear vision and goals, but at the same time making everyone around him feel like they were an important part of it all.”

—Matt Schur describing his manager, Larry Meyer

Try it yourself. This book is full of experiments, so make this your first one. Seriously. Ask the next five people you see to tell you about a manager who made a difference in their lives. They will not tell you about the business goals those managers achieved or the processes they improved or the awards they won. They will tell you about how those managers saw something in them, fanned a spark into a flame, and helped them grow. They will use words like trust, mentor, coach, grow, inspire, listen, empathy, potential—and friend. Those are the managers who make a difference—the ones who make people their highest priority and, as a bonus for that investment, achieve more, and perform better.

We wrote this book for managers who want to make a positive difference in the lives of the people they lead. We designed it as a kind of handbook. Each chapter stands alone so you can, if you like, open the book at random and start anywhere. But we also put the chapters in an order that allows them to build on one another as the book progresses. In this book, we provide real-life stories along with a series of lessons. We also suggest a set of practical “experiments” that enable you to put the principles into action and learn from your own experience.

Not only are the recommendations in this book supported by research, but over the course of his career, Larry Sternberg has put every single one into practice in his own work as a manager and leader. These recommendations work in the real world, and our experience tells us that, as you strive to be the kind of manager who makes a difference, you will not only improve engagement, performance, and retention among your team members (which translates to better results for your organization), you will also find a greater sense of fulfillment and meaning in your own work.

As you incorporate the lessons and experiments in this book into your daily work as a manager, you will increase your capacity to make a difference in the lives of the people you manage. The strategies you learn in this book can also carry over into your interactions with family and friends so that you make a bigger difference in their lives, too. And if someone asks a person you have managed, “Tell me about a manager who made a difference in your life,” the manager he or she describes could very well be you.