If you are committed to cultivating positive relationships with people through accepting them as they are, you will inevitably run into conflicts between how people really are and how you wish they would be. What will you do in those instances? Where will you draw the line when accepting people as they are rubs you the wrong way?

In every job there are things that are Nice to Have (such as timeliness in the previous story) and Need to Have (such as the ability to close sales). Be most tolerant in the Nice-to-Have category.

But how much undesirable behavior should you tolerate? The unsatisfying answer is: it depends. The more valuable a person is to an organization, the more inclined an organization will be to give that person special treatment.

The downside of this accommodation typically involves dissatisfaction from other employees. “Hey, why does he get Saturdays off?” Of course, this is an easy one. Hank can reply, “As soon as you're number one for 18 consecutive years, I'll be happy to give you Saturdays off!” The downside of not giving the top guy Saturdays off is that he goes to another dealership. We are talking about favoritism here, but favoritism that is earned based on superior performance.

A more challenging situation occurs when the top performer is undermining the culture, mistreating people, or acting immorally or unethically. How much of that should you tolerate? It is up to you. The decisions you make in these situations define what the fundamental values system of your culture really is. Where you draw the line in any situation speaks powerfully about what you really value.