Part of developing yourself involves taking ownership for how you feel about your work. Too many people hate their jobs. For them, almost every day is a bad day. Aside from the negative impact this has on performance and engagement, it increases stress and anxiety, which has a negative impact on physical, mental, and emotional health. In many cases, people who hate their jobs bring that stress and negativity into their homes, which hurts their family and their friends. If you hate your job, if you are frequently experiencing bad days, if you feel trapped in your job, this chapter is for you.

Organizations and managers should be intentional and aggressive about creating a culture in which people feel valued, significant, and fulfilled, a culture in which people truly look forward to going to work. It is also the case, however, that each of us must take responsibility for the outcomes in our lives. Your life decisions have put you in your current situation. You might feel trapped, but you are not trapped.

Your first option is to change something external. Change some aspect of your current job or start looking for another job where you will look forward to going to work, a job in which you have no problem saying that what you are getting out of it is worth the cost. Changing jobs, however, involves great risk and often great cost. You might not be ready for a life decision like this. You might decide that, at this time, it is best for you to stay in a job you do not like. That is a completely rational choice, but in that case, change your thinking. You are not really trapped if you make a conscious decision to stay in the situation. Embrace the situation and remind yourself that you have decided to pay this cost in order to receive the benefits and outcomes you seek. Stress is caused by resistance to what is. We know this is not easy, but you can make a commitment to work on it.

Here is a brief account of Larry's personal experience with this situation:

Sometimes everyone needs to blow off some steam. But there is a point at which occasionally blowing off steam morphs into constant complaining and abiding dissatisfaction. Reliving unpleasant experiences evokes more negative feelings and creates additional stress. Recounting your bad day just poisons your evening, not only for you, but also for those around you. When your bad day is over, do not take it with you. Raise your awareness of the present. Notice that in the present moment, nothing bad is happening to you. Do not allow events of the recent past to ruin the present moment. We are aware that this is not easy. But with practice, you can do this more frequently and achieve more happiness in your life as a result.

In any situation, you can find ways to do more positive and meaningful things at work. Be kind, forgiving, and helpful to your associates. Celebrate their successes, and support them during difficult times. Express appreciation. Be a role model for character. You can make a difference. You can make your organization a better place. To acquaint yourself with a shining example of how to make a positive difference in a truly horrible situation, we recommend Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning.¹