During the course of your career as a manager, you will inevitably have to speak with someone who aspires to a certain role in your organization, even though he or she does not have the natural talent to perform that role with excellence. You are committed to avoiding the Peter Principle. You will not promote people to the level of their incompetence. You should not lead people on. You must have difficult conversations in these instances. But what do you say? How do you help people work through the difference between their goals and reality as you see it? Every situation is unique, so we cannot give you a script. But we can provide an example and give you some guidelines.

If someone on your team does not have a natural talent for the role he aspires to, it is not in anyone's interest to cast that person in that role. The ideal outcome would be that the employee is not given the aspirational role, understands why (even if disagreeing with the reasoning), and remains an engaged contributor in a role in which he can be successful—one with a career arc more suited to his natural talents.

If you are the manager delivering the bad news, remember that people almost always accept the final decision—it is the process they complain about. There is no way they are going to feel good about what you have to say in the moment. Sugarcoating it will not help. Be transparent, clear, and compassionate. Listen actively. If you sincerely have employees' best interests at heart, they will know that. And they will know it if you do not have their best interests at heart, too.

Start by asking why he seeks this role. Listen, listen, and listen some more. Give some feedback showing that you understand his thoughts and feelings.

Then discuss what his life would be like on a day-to-day basis. Help him visualize it. Remember, you are delivering the bad news that he does not have strong talent for the role he seeks. The role will likely require him to engage frequently in activities that he does not enjoy. For example, suppose he aspires to become a manager. Does he want to sit in meetings half the day? Does he want to be accountable for the performance of others? Does he want to spend a lot of time on administrative paperwork? Does he want to work the hours required in this role? Does he want to confront unacceptable work performance? Forcing him into activities that are not aligned with what he enjoys will be stressful.

As this person's manager, do the caring thing and say, “I don't think that role is the best fit for you. I don't think you'll like doing those activities, and I don't think it'll be good for you.”

If there is a role in which this person can excel, discuss the importance of that role in the company. Help the person understand why that other role is better suited to his or her talents. Paint a picture of how investing in his or her strengths can make a bigger difference or lead to greater growth.

If it is clear to you that the person will never get that aspirational role, be willing to say, “Honestly, I don't think that's in your future here. I think we have associates whose talent is more suitable for that role, so I think you'll be out-competed when opportunities open up. I know this is hard to hear, but I want to be honest with you.” Do not lead him or her on.

In these types of situations, you are going to win some and lose some. Good employees will leave your team for companies that are willing to give them that aspirational role. Have no regrets because the alternative—giving him or her the role—is worse for the employee, worse for your team, worse for your company, and worse for your customers.