If you are committed to building an extraordinary team, the people on your team are likely to be full of determination and willing to push themselves hard to succeed. The kind of people you want for your team are the kind of people who never quit. But what happens when their determination and grit drives them to continue striving for a goal they will never achieve because it does not fit with their talent, even when doing so makes them miserable and negatively affects their happiness or even their health? An example from sports may help:

Is someone who reports to you in this situation? If you care about that person, do the right thing. It is what trainers do when they care deeply about their fighters. It is what you should do if you truly care about your employee. Sometimes, like a trainer, you have to throw in the towel. Sometimes you have to recognize when you have reached a point where it goes against the best interests of the employee or the business to fight on.

How do you know when the time has come to throw in the towel and let someone go? Ask yourself these questions:

1. Have you taught, coached, and given the employee ample time to learn?
2. Has the employee tried his or her best?
3. Does the situation require behaviors that are not in the employee's repertoire? Do you believe, in your heart of hearts, that additional effort will turn the situation around?

It is not time until you know—in your heart of hearts—that you have done everything you can to help that person succeed. Before you get to that point, you must communicate bluntly and clearly that her employment cannot continue unless performance improves. You must listen to her side of the story. You must communicate just as clearly and passionately that you are an ally and will do everything in your power to help her succeed. It is not time until you have delivered on that promise, until you have put in extra effort and really extended yourself. When all of that has gone before, on the day you realize that additional efforts will not lead to success, then you know it is time. And you must act accordingly.

How do you fire someone professionally and compassionately? Begin with the stance that when you have to fire someone, it is as much your own failure as it is your employee's. It was either a mistake in the hiring decision (you selected someone without the right aptitude or did not ensure the right fit), or you did not ensure that the person was trained and supervised in a way that helped him or her succeed. This is a shared failure. But as the manager, you must do your job and take responsibility for letting the person go.

When you initiate the conversation, do not start with small talk about the weather or a recent sporting event. Get into the meat of the issue right away. Briefly review the expectations and the shortfall in performance. Tell the person it is not working out (which she probably already knows) and that it is time for her to leave. If you are sorry, say so, but in this situation, apologize only if you really mean it.

This might be painful for you, and it might present you with some challenges in your organization, but for the person being fired, it is a life-changing event. Compassion is mandatory. Explain the separation process. Answer any questions. But do not extend the moment. After your conversation, proceed to the next step.

Your next step can be helping in the search for the employee's next job. The best outcome is that she finds something soon and goes on to have great success. Many managers are fortunate to maintain positive relationships with people they have fired and can continue to support their success as they move forward in their careers. But a manager must take that first and hardest step. When it is time for an employee to leave, do not delay in taking action, as unpleasant as it might be. Do it with compassion, and own your failure to help that person succeed. And remember, you can continue to care about and support her even though she no longer works for you.