The first step in cultivating positive relationships is getting to know your people. Right away, we are giving you a simple, practical tool that will help you rapidly build positive relationships with people you have just met. It will also help you improve relationships with people you already know. The tool, called “Focus On You®,” consists of the following six questions.
To use this tool with one or more people, hand out a blank copy of the Focus On You Worksheet to everyone and explain the six questions. Give everyone (including yourself) a few minutes to make notes on their own responses to the six questions in the boxes provided. Take turns allowing each person (including yourself) to share their answers to all the questions, without interruption. Then invite follow-up questions. Each person should take three to five minutes. Take notes on what everyone says. These notes are worth keeping and referring back to later. We have provided an example that includes Kim's notes on her own answers and her notes on Larry's answers to the six questions. You can find printable Focus On You worksheets on our website at ManageToMakeADifference.com.
Focus On You works one-on-one or in groups. You must do this in person, face to face, and you must always answer the questions yourself. The point of Focus On You is for everyone involved to learn a few things about everyone else.
Note: You can also do Focus On You with significant others or friends. Hal, a seminar participant and senior vice president for a large manufacturing company, did Focus On You with his family. He found out he was calling his daughter, Melissa, by the wrong name. She preferred Missy. Focus On You was only a small portion of the seminar he attended, but Hal insisted that outcome with his daughter, on its own, was worth every penny he paid for the seminar.