In many organizations, out of a sincere effort to improve performance, instances of criticism and negative feedback (discussions about what is wrong) far outnumber instances of positive feedback. But as Theodore Roosevelt said, “It is not the critic who counts.” Monday morning quarterbacking is so much easier than standing on the field and making great plays happen in real time. You can probably think of stories to illustrate that idea. Larry has one too:

As a manager, move beyond just criticizing to actually helping, and go one step further. Promote a culture of recognition and appreciation. Unfortunately, the natural wiring of our brains makes this quite challenging. Our brains are hardwired to detect threats and other kinds of problems. This wiring has great survival value. Our natural tendency to focus on what is wrong and to give more weight to negative information than to positive information has been well documented by research psychologists. Rozin and Royzman¹ sum it up with the old adage, “A spoonful of tar can spoil a barrel of honey, but a spoonful of honey does nothing for a barrel of tar.” Baumeister et al.² say it all in the title of their extensive literature review: Bad Is Stronger than Good. The negative bias goes right down to human neurobiology, where the natural high of a dopamine rush wears off after only a couple of hours, while the effects of the stress hormone cortisol last up to 24 hours.³ Too often, people focus so much on the negative that they forget to acknowledge their successes. Here is a story from Larry that clearly illustrates that point:

Shape a culture that has the potential to overpower the built-in negative bias. Increase your focus on successes and high points, and encourage others to do so as well. You will increase your positive influence and bring about noticeable change. People will have more spring in their step, a more positive attitude, and a higher level of motivation and engagement. Your mood will improve as well, because you will learn about successes that otherwise would not have come to your attention.

Nurturing a culture of recognition and appreciation is more impactful than implementing specific recognition programs. Improving the ratio of positive to negative feedback (praise versus criticism) will enhance your ability to make a difference in your employees' lives and improve your business results. The positive to negative ratio (sometimes called the Gottman Ratio or the Losada Ratio) has been extensively researched. Despite some academic arguments about the best mathematical approach to understanding the ratio, Fredrickson⁴ argues convincingly that the preponderance of evidence points toward an ideal ratio of somewhere between 3:1 and 5:1 of positive to negative—and that we should avoid throwing out the baby with the mathematical bathwater. This is the ratio that separates high-performing teams from moderately or poorly performing ones.⁵ It is also the ratio that separates stable marriages from those that are much more likely to end in divorce.⁶ Researchers are clear that negative feedback has value at times; the ratio is not 3:0, after all. However, because our brains give more weight to bad rather than good, a 1:1 ratio is never optimal.

What does all this mean in practical terms? Sandwiching criticism with praise is not enough. That only gets you a 2:1 ratio. Besides the ratio, the fact that criticism is mixed in with praise activates the negative bias; it is almost a sure bet that the praise will be quickly forgotten and dismissed as the criticism steals the show. To optimize performance, engagement, and retention, you will want to hit that 3:1 to 5:1 ratio, and the likelihood of being able to hit that ratio increases if you create a culture in which positive feedback is the norm so that people on your team can provide it to each other with the same intention that drives you to provide positive feedback to them.

Because of our natural tendency to focus on the negative, appreciative cultures are rare, but their benefits are significant. Consider a few statistics:⁷

• People are less likely to express gratitude at work than almost anywhere else.
• Only 10 percent of people express appreciation to their coworkers on a daily basis.
• A full 60 percent never say thank you or express gratitude at work, or do it only once or twice a year.
• At the same time, 81 percent say they would work harder for a more grateful manager.

How much harder do you think those 81 percent of the people would work for a more grateful manager? Another study suggests they will work about 50 percent harder.⁸ In a field experiment with fundraisers working for a university, the director visited with some (but not all) workers, thanking them for their hard work and the contributions they were making to the university. After being thanked, that group of workers made 50 percent more phone calls compared to the previous week. The workers who were not thanked for their work made about the same number of calls as they did in the previous week. What kind of impact would it make on your business if people were 50 percent more productive?

Given the difference an appreciative culture can make in performance, this statistic from another study is sobering: 83 percent of employees reported that their organizations' cultures do not strongly support recognition. This matches eerily well with the 87 percent of organizations reporting that they have recognition programs designed primarily to recognize tenure and service and suggests that, in the minds of employees, recognition for tenure “doesn't count.”

There are some big disconnects between what leaders think is happening in organizations and what employees are actually experiencing, too. In the same study, 80 percent of senior leaders thought their employees were being recognized at least monthly, but only 22 percent of individual contributors reported that they were being recognized that often.⁹

In cultivating an appreciative culture, you should focus primarily on the center of your circle of influence—your own behavior. Make a personal commitment to express appreciation more frequently. Here are some easy, inexpensive ways to do this:

• Say, “Thank you,” more often. Say it with sincerity. What could be easier? After all these years, this is still number one, and it can improve performance by as much as 50 percent.
• Write a handwritten note. This takes about three minutes, on average, and these are so valued that people save them.
• Walk a person into your supervisor's office and tell your supervisor what he or she did that was so great.
• Write a note and mail it to his or her home, so the family can read it, too.
• Write a note to someone's parents or spouse. This is so unusual it really makes an impression.
• Invest some one-on-one time with a top performer. Take him or her out for a cup of coffee, and explain why you are doing it.
• If, and only if, the person likes public recognition, give him or her a round of applause.
• Send cards to your direct reports on important days like birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and so forth.
• Go out after work or at lunch to informally celebrate individual or team successes.

The next chapter describes “emotional rehiring,” which is another powerful strategy for appreciating and recognizing people—so powerful, in fact, that we are giving it its own chapter. But we want to share one important caveat with you now. We hinted at it in the preceding list of ideas, and it bears further emphasis. In the process of providing meaningful positive feedback, it is critical that you individualize. What is positive to one person can be negative to another. Here is another story from Larry to illustrate: