Almost all of us are potential targets of prejudice. Whether you’re black, gay, Jewish, female, a single parent, Muslim, poorly educated, have a strong regional accent, or have any of countless other characteristics that some people dislike or look down on without rational cause.

Fortunately, you don’t have to deal with everyone on the planet who holds a prejudice against you. In the context of difficult people, you need to get your head around your boss, neighbour, sister-in-law, colleague, classmate or whoever you have to interact with regularly.

Prejudice comes from ignorance. Anyone who actually knows lots of black people, say, can’t help but recognise that the colour of their skin (and its effect on their history) is the only thing that sets them apart from everyone else. Otherwise they’re just more people in all our infinite variety. Those who are prejudiced against other people are largely those who haven’t had enough experience to recalibrate their beliefs about them.

Prejudice is often learnt from our family or culture. And then compounded by ignorance. And, of course, if you’re raised to believe that a certain type of person is anything from evil to simply ‘not our type’, you’ll most likely avoid them. Which perpetuates the ignorance. This is often fuelled by fear, that the people the prejudice is aimed at will take your job or break into your house or corrupt your children.

Most people, if confronted with the reality, will recognise that their fears and prejudices are unfounded. But certain people continue to be difficult to deal with because they refuse to see any evidence that opposes their existing beliefs. So your problem is having to deal with a boss who is convinced that women can’t do the job as well as men, or the neighbour who thinks all gays are evil, or the family member who can’t cope with the fact that their relative has married a black person.

The first thing is to recognise that their prejudice says a great deal about them and nothing about you. It may not feel like it, but that is obvious to everyone else around them. This in itself should help you not to take it to heart.

It also makes sense not to feed their false beliefs. If your male boss thinks women are too needy and emotional, do your very best not to burst into tears in front him, or keep asking for help (if you’re a woman). Consider it your task to stand up for all women who encounter him in the future.

The thing that will reduce prejudice is experience. Not reasoned argument. Prejudice is not a logical state, so logic won’t defeat it. If you challenge people overtly, they become more entrenched. Political protest on a public scale can be very effective, but on a one-to-one level provoking any kind of defensive reaction is always going to be counter-productive. Yes, regardless that you’re right. Don’t try to change them all at once – just plant a seed.

Your boss might eventually concede that women generally are emotional and needy but you’re an exception. It’s not the outcome you really want, but you’ve started something. The next woman who works for him, and the next, can slowly help that seed grow. It shouldn’t have to take a long time but it probably will. Very few people change their beliefs overnight. So don’t ask for the moon, and remember that this isn’t about you.