I once worked with a guy who would tear up at the slightest thing. The faintest hint of criticism from one of the team, a sad story on the news, any kind of negative emotion in the room. Some of us found it quite tricky being around him at times – if we needed to give him constructive feedback, it was like walking on eggshells.

If you’re not highly sensitive yourself, it can be hard coping with someone who is. That’s why I’ve included oversensitive people in this section on difficult people – because they might be difficult for you to handle. However, unlike most of the other characters in this section, oversensitive people haven’t done anything wrong. They were probably born this way, and the rest of us need to learn to accommodate them. After all, they’re often the first to sense trouble brewing, and can be the best diplomats because they’re so highly attuned to not upsetting people. If they treat others as they’d like to be treated, there’s little danger of them causing ill-feeling. It’s no use telling them to ‘toughen up’. They can’t, and they shouldn’t have to, anyway.

The problem is – especially if you’re not as thin-skinned as they are – that you might upset them. Well, yes, you might. So you need to be careful. First off, recognise that the tiniest criticism can be taken to heart and dwelt on for ages. On the plus side, however, this means that you don’t need to use a sledgehammer to get your point across. You can be confident that these people will pick up on hints and understatement, so just be kind and considerate.

Obviously you need to be able to tell them when their work isn’t up to scratch, or things aren’t going well in your relationship with them. Assuming they are not also an emotional blackmailer, their tears aren’t intended to make you feel bad. They’re just an uncontrollable reaction. Do your best to get them to identify problems themselves – ‘There’s scope for improvement here. What do you think could speed the process up next time?’. That way they can do the criticising and you can just agree.

Notice in that example how the wording was impersonal too. Not ‘What could you do to speed things up?’ but ‘What could speed things up?’. This makes it easier to avoid any sense of personal criticism. If your partner is oversensitive, you might say, ‘I feel frustrated when I go to start the car and find it’s out of petrol’ rather than ‘ … when you leave the car out of petrol’.

If you’re dealing with a very sensitive person, focus on the positive and use carrots rather than sticks. Sticks can be quite a scary proposition. So let them know what you want and not what you don’t. You want the car to have some petrol left in it, for instance, rather than you don’t want to find it empty.

I remember a primary school teacher once telling me he had ‘a list of children not to shout at’, because they couldn’t take it. I concluded that he must therefore – if only by default – have a list of children to shout at. Whether or not you need a list of people to shout at (of course, you wouldn’t really shout at them – you’re a Rules player), the oversensitive people should definitely be on your list of people to avoid if you’re feeling crabby and irascible.