Control your mental response to stress 117
Dealing with rage
Rage is like falling off a cliff. If stress moves you, step by step,
towards the edge, it can take only one tiny shove to push you
over the edge. Fortunately, we can usually detect the upwelling
of anger that signals impending rage, so here are ve things you
can do when you sense your cork is about to pop.
1. Breathe
As we get tense and feel enraged, our bodies breathe more
quickly and less deeply. This deprives you of oxygen, reducing
whenever you need it, so practise it so that you can do it quickly
and easily whenever you want to.
Think of something that you associate with stress. Picture it in your
mind, as if it is an image on a television screen. Close your eyes and
watch it on TV and, as you watch, imagine the TV starts to move
further and further away from you, and the image gets dimmer and
less distinct. Keep the TV moving away slowly and steadily, and the
image getting fuzzier and dimmer, until, gradually, you can barely
make out the image at all. Then, in your mind, get up and walk
away.
Now open your eyes and think about your next meal. Yum.
When you are ready, next think of a time when you felt calm,
confident and relaxed; and visualise that in your mind’s eye. Put it
on a TV screen as before and close your eyes. This time, imagine the
TV is coming towards you and the image is getting bigger, clearer,
brighter and more real. The colours are getting sharper and more
vivid and it starts to feel like 3D TV. As the image gets bigger, feel
it start to wrap around you so that you are immersed in it. When
you feel ready, imagine yourself step into the image and take a
deep breath. Aaahh.
118 brilliant stress management
your ability to think clearly. Deliberately reverse this by taking
several deep breaths. Not only will this rell your lungs with
fresh oxygen, but the action will send calming signals to your
brain.
2. Smile
The world may not always smile with you, but your brain will.
The act of smiling sends happy signals to your brain that will
damp down your ght-or-ight response and so start to defuse
your rage.
3. Get perspective
Mentally step away from the situation and see it objectively.
When you try to analyse something, you will activate the logical
front part of your brain, stealing some of the energy from your
emotional brain centre. What is the real situation? How much
does it really matter? How would you view it in a week’s time, or
in a year? Use the SCOPE process.
4. Step into their shoes
If it is someone else that has angered you, take a moment to
step back and see the situation from their perspective. In their
mind, what they did was totally reasonable. When you see things
from their point of view, they will seem more reasonable and
less enraging.
5. Make it absurd
If all else fails, activate your Monty Python organ – your ability
to see the absurdity in any situation. Imagine the person who is
annoying you is wearing ridiculous underwear, that their hair is
just a wig, covering green hair, or that they are being unreason-
able because they are desperate for the toilet. If it’s an object
that’s causing you to explode, like a tangled ball of string, a
part of your DIY project that’s going wrong, or your computer
playing up, imagine it has a voice, and speaks like a cartoon
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